Mike and I were not just friends, we were prayer mates throughout our years on the Korle-Bu campus. Some bonds start strong like that, but once school is over, the real world gets in the way. It wasn’t like that for us, at least not in the beginning. He made sure he got placed for his rotation at the same place I was doing mine.
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It was during our rotation that we started dating. We were already friends who knew each other well. It made it easier to be a couple. I believe relationships are always easier when you first transition to friendship. The downside, however, is that it feels unbearably lonely when things start falling apart. Not only do you lose a partner, but you lose a friend too.
It was difficult for me to handle when Mike started getting cold and non-communicative. I kept pushing and probing until he told me, “I just need some breathing space.”
Me that I was busily working to build my life? How much space was I even taking up in his life? I didn’t want to linger where I was not wanted. I called the relationship off and moved on.
For four years I lived my life. I even got into another relationship with a gentleman. We were together for two years. All this guy did was take and take and take from me. He refused to give anything in return. One morning, I decided to count my losses and cut him loose.
After him, I closed my heart. I was determined to stay single for as long as possible.
Then on New Year’s Day in 2017, I got a call from Mike. He asked if he could come see me. There was something in his voice that melted my scepticism. It sounded as if his life depended on talking to me. So I invited him over.
When he asked for a second chance I didn’t believe he was serious. I kept thinking, “He just wants to come back and finish me.”
I asked him a series of questions, to try and figure out his true intentions. It helped. Every answer he gave me pleased me. Regardless, I didn’t jump back into his arms. I asked him to give me some time to figure a few things out first. It was just an opportunity to see if he was truly committed to making things work this time around.
When I was satisfied with what I saw, I gave him a chance. Six months later, he came to see my family with his people and they performed the knocking ceremony. We got married within a year.
As Christians, our relationship never involved intimacy. We kept our chastity in accordance with our faith until the day we said, “I do,” to each other. To this day, I am glad I made that decision.
Three Months After Our Breakup, He Got Married
I can also boldly say that giving Mike a second chance has been the best decision of my life. We have a beautiful daughter who is constantly my pride and joy. My own little family is all I need to know I am right where I belong.
Lord knows I have been through so much in my life. Now, I have a wonderful man who is my rock. Even when we hit a rough patch in the marriage, his parents step in to encourage me not to give up. God bless them for how gently they hold me like an egg. I have come to believe that they are God’s reward for all the pain I went through growing up. If anyone ever told me I’d be this blessed I would have laughed in their face!
—Kukua
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God is Good.