When I started dating Eddy, it was my mom I introduced him to first but somehow, my dad also came to know about it. They asked me to be careful. They wished me well and asked me to be the woman Eddy would appreciate and marry soon. I’m that close to my parents so I don’t hide anything from them. I haven’t dated many men. Eddy is the third I’ve introduced to them and whenever the relationships came to an end, I made sure I updated them.

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To me Eddy was my last stop because he had everything I wanted in a man, a good career, a place to call home and love this big for me. When our relationship was only four months old, he asked me to marry him. I accepted to marry him but asked for a few months to get ready because I was doing my masters then and wanted to tick that off my box first.

He came home bearing gifts for my mom and dad. When he traveled abroad and was coming, he would ask me what my parents would appreciate and I would tell him. So you come to our house now, every tech there came from Eddy. Talk about washing machine, dish washing machine, fridges and TV and so many other things I can’t mention.

Just when I completed my masters and was about to focus on the marriage proposal, Eddy confessed he had impregnated another woman. I was crushed. “How? Why do you have to do this to me Eddy?” He stood there motionless as if he didn’t have a soul. I asked, “So what do you want me to do with this confession late at night?”

The lady was six months pregnant and she was also pushing for marriage. According to the story he told me, he dated the lady long before I came into the picture. The lady wasn’t his choice but his parents’ choice. She came from the north to do national service in Accra and he found her. When his parents got to know they were dating, they liked the lady and somehow convinced the lady to come and live with them. So anytime Eddy went home, he went to live with this lady.

I wasn’t aware or didn’t even get a hint because he hadn’t introduced me to his parents yet. He was waiting for me to complete school before the introduction. I asked, “But the woman is pregnant and living with your parents. How are you going to introduce me to the same parents as the one you want to marry?”

He answered, “They know my heart. When the lady got pregnant, they asked the way forward and I told them I would take care of the child but not marry her. They didn’t like the idea but they understood me and the lady also understands the situation that what we have is not marriage.”

I didn’t know the truth anymore. What he said sounded too good to be true. So I asked him to take me to his parents and he accepted. We went there on a Saturday morning. The pregnant lady wasn’t there, though I wanted to see her for myself. The introduction went smoothly though his parents didn’t say much apart from, “Welcome home” and “We are happy to see you”

I had to find a way to update my mom about the situation but Eddy told me he would like to do it himself since it was a dicey situation.

While we were planning to tell my parents about the situation, I found out I was also pregnant. I swear I wanted to fall into a dream and not wake up again. I screamed, “What!” My mom screamed back, “What’s the matter? What happened?”

It was too soon to tell her the truth so I lied someone I knew had died. I cried myself to sleep that day. I wanted to wake up and it was just a dream but I woke up only to face the reality of my situation. I texted him, “Unfortunately, I’m also pregnant.” He called back immediately, “What do you mean when you say unfortunately? Is pregnancy a bad thing?”

When we met he told me to keep it because it’s our ticket to get the consent of my parents. Everything was happening so fast I didn’t know how to think and who to believe, myself or him. I nodded in acceptance. “Let’s tell them about my pregnancy first before everything.” He answered, “Not in that order. Everything first before the pregnancy.”

So he came home to tell my parents about the other lady in his life and the story surrounding her. He was honest about his shortfall. My dad said, “Ah Eddy, you’ve complicated a very simple situation. She lives with your parents and is pregnant for you? Then you have to marry her. No matter the love you have for my daughter, I won’t allow you two to get married at the expense of the other lady.”

My mom seconded and even went ahead to give him motherly advice about marriage and family implications. They were that emphatic. They thanked him for his honesty but told him our relationship should end.

The next card we had to play was to tell them about my pregnancy, thinking that would change their mind. We did that days later. My dad said, “It hurts me that you put my daughter’s life in such a bad situation. It’s ok. We can’t say more than we have already said. Go and marry the first. Even if she doesn’t accept marriage from you, we won’t accept marriage from you either. You were not honest and that hurts.”

I have a daughter now. She’s three years old. The other lady also gave birth to a boy. He didn’t marry her. Eddy has relocated to the UK. He calls often. He ships stuff to me and his daughter. Whenever he comes to Ghana, he comes to visit us. I created boundaries so we don’t get sucked up into the old sack.

Three Months After Our Breakup, He Got Married

The last time he was here, he told me we should defy my parents and run to the UK and get married there. I love and respect my parents too much to defy them so I said no.

Months ago, they performed their traditional marriage, he and the other lady. I wished him well for making the right choice. He said, “It’s all your fault but I forgive you.” I responded, “I forgive you too.”

—Alberta

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