I’m in a long-distance relationship with a man who is 26 years old. We started dating when I was 18. When we entered our third year, he started talking about marriage. While he is in his final year and getting ready to graduate from the university, I have two more years to complete school.
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According to his plans, we should get married next year. I don’t think that would be feasible for me. I told him, “I will marry you but not now. I need three more years to be ready. Let me complete school and find my feet in this world first before I take on the responsibility of being a wife.”
We are from the same State. My parents would be more than happy to welcome him as a son-in-law. That is why I haven’t sent him home yet. If he mentions marriage to them, they would push me to go for it.
I love him. I do want to spend the rest of my life with him. Nonetheless, I feel like marriage is a huge commitment. So I want to make this decision without pressure or any form of coercion. When I explained to my boyfriend that I am not ready, he said he can’t wait for three years.
“I want you to be the wife of my youth. I want us to grow together as husband and wife.”
He has assured me that I don’t have to worry about our marriage getting in the way of my education. He says he would make sure I don’t get pregnant while I’m still in school.
“We will only start trying for a baby when we are both ready to start a family.”
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I want to believe him, and I think I do. I am just not sure that now is the right time to take that big step. I am only 21. Am I not too young for something as big as marriage? To the women here who married early, how has the experience been? Is it something you would advise a young woman to do? I need all the guidance and advice I can get.
— Jess
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If he’s willing to wait for you to complete school before the babies come along then he should be willing to put a hold on marriage until then. He may be unsure that you will still marry him when you are done with school but if he feels that way the more the reason you should wait. Don’t allow yourself to be stampeded into marriage. If you still feel the same after school get married. If he can’t wait, let him go, otherwise you will resent him for pressurizing you