Three years ago, we got married. She’s a midwife, and we have a son together. Before marriage, I worked as a private school administrator, but for personal reasons, I resigned and have been out of work for almost two years now. I haven’t been lazy. I’ve been actively searching for new opportunities, and my wife, to her credit, has been very supportive. She never complains and does her best to encourage me.

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Not long ago, I came across something troubling. I found numerous messages between my wife and several of her ex-boyfriends. These weren’t just friendly chats. They went deep. Some of the conversations suggest emotional attachments. In one case, she told one of her exes that his son reminds her of him.

I couldn’t sleep on the messages, so I brought it up. She swore heaven and earth and everything in between that nothing physical is happening, but you should read the tone and content of the messages. You’d side with me that I should be worried. And this is not about one ex ooo, but multiple exes. She asks for money from them, which confuses me because she’s a government worker and we’re not struggling. We own our home and run a small cold store business on the side.

I’ve decided to focus on securing a new job. Actually, there’s one opportunity I’m currently working on. Once I land it, I may have to leave town, and I fear what might start happening in my absence. Even now, some of these men ask her if I’m around, which makes me uneasy.

I don’t think about divorce because I don’t want to end up with children from different mothers, and I still care deeply about our family. That aside, I feel disrespected and betrayed. What would you do in my shoes?

—Addo

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