I met him through a friend, and that same friend told him it was my birthday the following day. His name was Peter. On my birthday, I received an amount from him through Momo. He later called to wish me a happy birthday and asked me to use the money to have fun. I thanked him and even blessed him in God’s name.

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I called my friend, Danso and told him his friend had sent me money. He said, “Eiish, Peter sent you money? Then he really likes you.”

Peter didn’t stop calling me. He asked me out on dates several times, but I told him my parents wouldn’t allow me. I was only nineteen. He would send me Momo for no reason, and I would call to thank him. He started using Danso to get through to me. When Danso came around, he told me how Peter couldn’t sleep because of me. He was doing the betweener job like an emissary sent to end a war.

The first time I went to Peter’s house, I went with Danso. You know, guys and their funny tricks—Danso went out to buy something, so it would be just me and Peter in the room. When we were alone, he started singing his love out: “Please say yes and see the things I can do for you. I’m not a bad person—Danso will attest.”

I accepted his proposal days later. From then on, every time we talked, he asked when I would come home. I kept disappointing him until one afternoon when I decided to visit him. Right in front of me, he changed his bedsheets and made the bed nicely. He gave me his laptop to watch movies while he was in the kitchen making Indomie.

I saw WhatsApp open on his browser. The first conversation was between him and Danso. Danso asked, “She come?” Peter responded, “Oh, long time. We just finished the first round. I’m exercising my waist for the second round.”

I scrolled up to read more. Even when I hadn’t been to his house before, he had told Danso I’d come at night and we’d done it. Danso said, “She told me she hadn’t done it before ooo.” Peter answered, “Oh, she’s lying. I entered easily koraa.”

I read the messages with my face plastered in laughter. I was so shocked I had to smile to bring my temperature down. “Eish!! This guy can lie!”

He was in the kitchen when I called from outside that I was going home. “Oh, why?” he screamed. I didn’t stay to hear what he had to say. He came out after me, but I was too far for him to force me back in.

When he called to ask why, I told him, “You’re killing me with too much knacking, and I can’t take it any longer.” He said, “How can you say that? You haven’t even given it to me once.” I replied, “Good. Go and tell Danso the truth.”

It was over from that day. But when I finally spoke to Danso, I blamed him for believing Peter. He asked, “So Peter no do one mpo?” I responded, “He didn’t even kiss me.” He screamed, “Eiii, my paddy do yawa!”

—Jacqueline

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