I’m dating this woman. She’s forty-three, fifteen years older than me. Right from the beginning, she told me we weren’t built to last. I believed otherwise because there was something about her I had never seen in the women I’d dated before. Apart from her age, she has a vintage perspective on life. Her advice is divine. Anytime I’ve listened to her, something good has happened to me. I want this to last.
She loves me too. She tells me I fill the spaces in her life until there’s no gap left to fill. I don’t fully understand what that means, but when we’re together, it feels like we’re the only two people in the world. She has two kids, eighteen and fifteen years old. Her marriage didn’t work out, which is why we’re together.
She takes care of my emotional needs very well, and whenever there’s an opportunity out there, she directs me to it and shows me how to seize it. Through her, I landed the job I’m doing now. Through her, I bought the car I’m currently using. She showed me a piece of land and said I could have it anytime I’m ready to build. But how do I build a future she’s not part of?
I want this to be the real deal, but in her mind and logic, we’re not meant to be known or seen as a couple. For three years, I’ve been kept in the dark. Even her kids think I’m just a friend or a young colleague. When they’re around, we act like a master and a follower. When they’re gone, she lies on top of me and does whatever she pleases with me.
Being in the dark is suffocating. I want us to be official. I want more than just being the guy in the dungeon who only comes out when the darkness is ripe. She doesn’t want to have that conversation. Anytime I try, she raises her hand to stop me. She doesn’t want to listen. The phrase “Age is just a number” gets on her nerves. She doesn’t want to hear it.
I Never Paid Fees Again Until I Completed School
I want to settle down before I’m thirty. I want to settle down with her. How do I get around the barrier she’s erected to avoid this necessary conversation? What do I do to convince her that being with me is worth it and that we won’t end up as a joke, like she anticipates? She’s scared of something. How do I convince her that her fear is valid but shouldn’t determine our future? Please help.
—Alfred
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There’s nothing you can do about it. You are her dirty secret. My friend you are someone’s prayer. Please move on before it’s too late. This is just the beginning. You have to let go of whatever is holding you back I.e which is your woman. You can get married before the age of thirty but it doesn’t have to be with her. If you like you can bring in pope Francis but still she won’t change her mind. All you have to do is change your mind that you are moving forward and you are no longer going to be kept in the dark. Your parent didn’t suffer to raise you only for you to be kept in the dark. I know it’s easier said than done. But be tough as a soldier . If you end it now you won’t bleed for long . She will understand you . A journey without a destination is no journey. A wish you well with whatever decision you plan to take.
Build your own castle with your own princess not with someones queen used and reused
It’s unfair to describe any woman as used and reused! It’s a big challenge to go against the norm. I guess if the roles were reversed and you were 15 years her senior, society will be much more accommodating. Unfortunately, society especially ours will be unforgiving and call her a cradle snatcher. She is not willing to take that stress and you must respect that. If you truly want to get married before you hit thirty you have to move on. Remember, that biology is also not on her side and if having children of your own with her may be a challenge.
Time, Alfred. Give the relationship time. Don’t bring up marriage again. Let things take their natural course. Time will help you buckle down or will change your feelings. You appreciate her so much because of her maturity, but it comes with a price. How about your parents and siblings? Have you spoken to them about her? She’s scared of what they will say.
No wonder the young guys ain’t seeing us living us still single cause they’re busy pressuring other aunties for marriage
Because you young ladies are always dangerous.
This is what is called Sugar Mommy relationship. The best thing u can do is just to impregrenate her before she reach her menepoulse state(50) sothat you may have part of her in life no matter what happen and what people will say. Nothing u can do in this life that is 100% acceptable to humans, only u know’s how u feels for her. Is not every advice that seems good that is good. Everyone has different life to leave, what seems good to u may seems bad to someone. Take note.
I rather date a sugar mommy than date a young lady because young ladies do not think wisely as a sugar mom. 90% percent of young ladies behaves childish.