I was twenty-two when he asked me to marry him. I was still in school but I said yes. Who wouldn’t want to marry their first love? Although I wouldn’t call our relationship perfect, I was happy that I was going to build a life with him. “I will do my best to be a good wife to you,” I often told him.

Along the line, I got pregnant. We were getting married anyway so we decided to keep it. We also agreed that we would wait for a while before we announce the pregnancy.

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That very year, I happened to be on campus on Valentine’s Day. I thought I could handle it but eventually, the pressure got to me. All my roommates were going on dates. The thought of being alone didn’t sit right with me. So I packed my bags and headed home.

Knowing my mother, she would have complained if I went home at night. She doesn’t like nighttime travel. So I decided to go to Nii’s place instead.

I didn’t tell him I was coming. That was the nature of our relationship. “When you want to see me just come. You don’t need my permission first.” He even gave me a key to his backdoor just to prove how serious he was.

Anyway, I let myself in when I got to his place. The moment I opened the door, I saw him standing there, completely naked. He looked like he was in the middle of something. I didn’t know what to do or say so I stood staring at him.

Without any hesitation, he looked at me and said, “Sit in the hall.” I was still stunned so I moved to the hall. A few minutes later, he came to join me. This time around he was clothed, and another woman was by his side.

I asked the lady to sit down. Then I asked her, “How long have you been seeing my man?” She said a couple of months.

“Are you the one who leaves earrings and hair ribbons behind?”

She nodded.

I realized she was panting. Maybe she was worried I would attack her. I had to calm her down. “I won’t fight with you or cause a scene so relax.” When she truly calmed down, I walked her to the roadside and helped her pick a car.

I know you might be wondering why I asked her those questions instead of confronting him outright. The truth is, I already knew about her. A friend had told me about their relationship, but I never confronted him because I had no concrete proof. And he was smart and manipulative.

Whenever I found those earrings, and ribbons, he pretended he didn’t know anything about them.

“You are the only woman who comes here so if you found them they are yours,” he would say casually.

Sometimes I would find my clothes hidden away. That one he would shrug and ask, “They’re yours so why are you asking me why they are yours?”

His behaviour made me start doubting myself. I would see things and wonder if I was the crazy one.

No matter how right I was, he was never wrong. I had always thought women won arguments in relationships, but this man taught me I was wrong.

Anyway, upon my return, I found Nii seething with anger. He even seized my laptop. I tried to talk to him but it only made him angrier. Before I knew it he was getting physical with me. This guy I knew I was pregnant but he kicked me hard in the abdomen.

I miscarried.

That was the end of the relationship for me. When his sister heard about the breakup she called me and said, “You should reconsider. He says he is sorry. Do you want to leave while you’re pregnant?”

I seized that opportunity and told her everything. When I finished, she was shocked. According to her, I was too young to go through all that. “I have been married for fifteen years but I don’t think I can handle what you’ve been through. This only proves you have what it takes to be married to my brother.”

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I shook my head and said no. I told her I didn’t want her brother anymore. “Besides, he ruined my pregnancy so he can’t use it to trap me.”

Then came the elders. They had been involved in the marriage plans, so they called a meeting. They pleaded on his behalf and asked me to reconsider my decision to leave him.

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I held them in high regard but I asked them what I would do if I marry him and he treats me badly. “If he hits me, who do I complain to? Won’t you say I knew who he was before I married him?”

That was the end of the conversation. No matter what anyone said, I didn’t go through with the marriage. That awful incident happened years ago but every year on Vals Day, I think about the night I miscarried.

—Nornie

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