I want to go to school. After eight years of putting my dreams on hold for my marriage, I finally want to go and get that degree. My husband knew this right from the time we were dating—that this was what I wanted to do. After marriage, I wanted to start, but he told me to wait. I had a son, then a daughter. To me, it was okay, but he told me to wait until the last one. In his own words, he said, “Let’s finish with the kids, then you can do whatever you want.”

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I’ve lost two promotions. They passed me by because I didn’t have what it took. I wasn’t bitter. I knew I had to do the right thing. My New Year’s resolution is to go back to school, no matter what.

When I bought the forms, I told him. He said nothing. When I got the admission, he started complaining: “The weekend is already busy, yet you want to fill it with school. Who’s going to do this and that and this and that?”

The answer is right under his nose. I can do those things during the week, or he can do them while I’m away. He started using the kids as an excuse. “The kids? If they are too much for you to care for while I’m away, then I’ll send them to your mom on some weekends,” I told him.

Whatever problem he raised, I had a solution for him. It’s taken me eight good years to reach this decision, so I’m prepared. I went to campus and came back to see him sulking. He said, “It looks like you don’t want this marriage. You’ve chosen school over the marriage and kids. That’s fine. I’ll also choose something else so we can leave the marriage and kids behind.”

I knew what he meant, but he wasn’t straightforward until he laid it all bare: I should choose between school and my marriage because being away for just the weekend means I’ve stopped being the wife he wanted.

I want this marriage. He knows I love him and the kids so much, but I was born to multitask, so I can add one more thing. He wants me to choose: the red pill or the blue one. He’s making my life miserable. Anytime I mention school, his temperature rises. He says I should be content with what God has done for us, but in this house, my money goes, and his money comes. He earns more, but that doesn’t come into the conversation when we have to spend.

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I will choose school, my marriage, and my kids. I can put them in one basket and carry them around, but my husband, the head of the family, has spoken. He wants me to put school aside. I can’t. I don’t want to. Not for another year. What do I do next?

—Queen

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