
I want to go to school. After eight years of putting my dreams on hold for my marriage, I finally want to go and get that degree. My husband knew this right from the time we were dating—that this was what I wanted to do. After marriage, I wanted to start, but he told me to wait. I had a son, then a daughter. To me, it was okay, but he told me to wait until the last one. In his own words, he said, “Let’s finish with the kids, then you can do whatever you want.”
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I’ve lost two promotions. They passed me by because I didn’t have what it took. I wasn’t bitter. I knew I had to do the right thing. My New Year’s resolution is to go back to school, no matter what.
When I bought the forms, I told him. He said nothing. When I got the admission, he started complaining: “The weekend is already busy, yet you want to fill it with school. Who’s going to do this and that and this and that?”
The answer is right under his nose. I can do those things during the week, or he can do them while I’m away. He started using the kids as an excuse. “The kids? If they are too much for you to care for while I’m away, then I’ll send them to your mom on some weekends,” I told him.
Whatever problem he raised, I had a solution for him. It’s taken me eight good years to reach this decision, so I’m prepared. I went to campus and came back to see him sulking. He said, “It looks like you don’t want this marriage. You’ve chosen school over the marriage and kids. That’s fine. I’ll also choose something else so we can leave the marriage and kids behind.”
I knew what he meant, but he wasn’t straightforward until he laid it all bare: I should choose between school and my marriage because being away for just the weekend means I’ve stopped being the wife he wanted.
I want this marriage. He knows I love him and the kids so much, but I was born to multitask, so I can add one more thing. He wants me to choose: the red pill or the blue one. He’s making my life miserable. Anytime I mention school, his temperature rises. He says I should be content with what God has done for us, but in this house, my money goes, and his money comes. He earns more, but that doesn’t come into the conversation when we have to spend.
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I will choose school, my marriage, and my kids. I can put them in one basket and carry them around, but my husband, the head of the family, has spoken. He wants me to put school aside. I can’t. I don’t want to. Not for another year. What do I do next?
—Queen
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I don’t know why but my mum said something, I’ll quote her “not all men are okay with their wives going to school after marriage, they make promises before marriage which they don’t intend to keep, you’re certificate it’s for you my children, attain that height because with higher position comes higher educational requirements” I hope my mother’s quote help you navigate through this path, trust the process and you’d be grateful you did. Btw follow your husband wisely but put your education, you, him, your marriage and your children first, it’s okay to send your kids to your mum on weekends they are her grand kids after all, sending you hugs strong woman 🫂🫂♥️♥️
One bug and deep mistake my snr sister did which still huants us all is to put her education on hold for a man and marriage.
The man is made now and messing up with her because she doesn’t have money and not working.
It is only an insecure man/woman that opposes the growth and development of his/her partner.
Continue with your education, take care of your home (marriage/husband and kids) and ensure you finish your degree and add masters to it.
He will come around as you persist dear.
All the best with love.
Go to school. Don’t put your life on hold for anyone.
FAVOUR and KWASIGH have said all in my mind. “A WORD IS ENOUGH FOR THE WISE”. Wish you the best in life. I pray oneday you will come back and celebrate your final year good news by God grace. I am praying for your success even though i don’t know you. NOTE: Prayer should also be involved.
If you can choose both then do such but never neglect the school for the other
Go to school my dear and fulfill your Dreams.
He is just being selfish and doesn’t want a wife who is Highly read and comfortable.
Our younger Generation should do all the schooling before marriage, because a lot of men won’t allow later.