Once in a while, you meet a girl who ticks all the boxes for you so you decide to go all out and make her yours even when the odds are stacked against you. You’ll listen to no advice and heed not to the calls of your own conscience because a heart in love is unstoppable. I met such a girl on Facebook. Lucy. She was intelligent as she was beautiful. We interacted a lot on Facebook and later started chatting on Messenger.  When one day I asked her to give me her number, she didn’t hesitate. Willingly, she gave it out and said, “If you don’t call soon, I’ll collect my number back.” 

I called her immediately. I said, “Just so you don’t collect your number from me, I’ve called.” She laughed out loud and that plunged us into ceaseless conversations. From then on I called her every day. She called me sometimes. Soon we were making video calls that lasted the whole night. Weeks later, I proposed to her. She said, “Don’t you think it’s better we meet first? Yes, I like you and I like your personality but let’s meet first to see if we both like what’s in front of us.” 

“But I’ve seen you? I’ve known you and like everything about you. Seeing you won’t change anything.” 

“Let’s wait and see. Pictures don’t tell all the story. Face to face will help us see clearly what the screens have blurred.”

She lived in Ho and I lived in Accra. When love is involved, no distance is too far. We planned to meet and the meeting failed. One day, a friend of hers had a wedding in Accra and she had to attend. The wedding was on Saturday and she was in Accra on Friday. We met at the A&C mall and had a night I would call beautiful. We laughed while we drank and occasionally saw her dancing to the music being played. I asked, “Now what? Here we are now, face to face. What do you say?” She answered, “You’re exactly how I imagined you to be so…then she shrugged her shoulders.”

“So you say yes to my proposal?”

“Well, kind of but let this night be over. When I get home, we’ll finalize everything.”

We walked out of the A&C mall holding each other’s hands. In my mind, we were lovers. Maybe she was too shy to accept there and then. We said our goodbyes and drew the curtain off the night. I went home and slept like a baby knowing I’ve won the heart of the woman I love. I woke up the next morning seeing a very long message from her; “Last night, was good but I was struggling to build a connection with you. You didn’t even look into my eyes once. I don’t think the two of us are compatible. I’m not doing this again. We can’t be lovers.”

After that message, she avoided my calls and stopped reading my messages on Messenger. I thought if I spoke to her, she would change her mind but she didn’t give me a chance to talk to her. A week later, I saw her call on my phone and the first word she said was, “Sorry.” “Sorry for what Lucy?” She answered, “Sorry for the way I treated you. The whole thing got me overwhelmed and I didn’t know what to think or do. I thought of escaping but I keep thinking of you.”

We were back together as lovers and learned to look into her eyes whenever we had a video call. When my eyes wander off the screen, she will say, “Hey, look at me,” and I would turn my eyes around and look at only her. 

I had to travel to Ho and see her. The plan was to go there on Friday night, spend the night together and come back to Accra the following day. I got to Ho around 8:30pm. Lodged into a hotel and messaged her, “Hey, I’m in. Where should I meet you?” She read the message and didn’t respond. Ten minutes later, I called her phone. She didn’t pick. All night, I kept calling until 11pm when I called again and heard, “The number you’re calling is switched off…” I couldn’t sleep, thinking what could the problem be. I wasn’t angry I was scared maybe something happened to her. In the morning I called. She didn’t pick until I checked out from the hotel around 11am.

I was coming to send her a Whatsapp message when I saw, “typing…” I waited patiently to see what she was writing. After about thirty minutes, I received a long message that could fill four pages of an A4 sheet. In the end, she said, “I still can’t feel the emotional connection between us. It’s hard to start something with you when that connection isn’t there.” By the time I finished writing my response, she had blocked me. I called her and she didn’t pick. Later, my line wasn’t getting through to her. She blocked my line too. I decided, enough was enough. I wasn’t going to pursue her again. I took my eyes off her and started living my life.

It was hard when I went on Facebook and saw her having fun there. I wanted to block her but couldn’t get the vim to do it. I hated her but still wanted to hear from her. One day a lady called and said, “I’m Lucy’s friend and I’m calling you to apologize on her behalf. She doesn’t know I’m going to call you but I’m doing this so you can call her and talk to her. She’s suffering. She mentions your name everyday. She’s regretting but scared to call you so please if you can, call her for me. I doubt she’ll repeat what she did.”

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I called her. Come and see how she was happy to hear from me. “I’m sorry dear. I know I’ve hurt you a lot in the few months that we’ve known each other. I don’t know why I love you and yet treat you this way. I swear it won’t happen again.” She talked and talked and talked until I cut her off and said, “I can’t even stay mad at you. I love you and I won’t deny it. Let’s do it again.”

It was all joy from then on. We met on three different occasions and had a lot of fun. I was in Ho for a night. We stayed out, chilled, and later departed. She went home and I went back to the hotel. The next morning, she came to the hotel and that was where we had our first kiss. She sent me to the bus station, picked a bus, and waved her hands as the bus began to move. For once, my heart was in the right place and I enjoyed the progress that we were making. I got to Accra late afternoon and sent her a message. She read the message and didn’t respond. I called later in the evening and she didn’t pick.

All night I kept calling but she ignored my call. “The devil that’s doing this girl is probably wearing camp boot so he’s able to boot her in any direction that he desires. What’s all these swinging emotions about?”

The next morning, it wasn’t a long message I received but a long voice note announcing the end of us. “This time, I’m not going to come back crying as I’ve done before. I still can’t connect and I still can’t find the emotional balance between us. We kissed but it felt so empty…like I was kissing a tree. I’ve given us chances enough but it’s not working.” I didn’t even bother to respond. Her profile photo was on when I saw the voice note. By the time I finished listening, her profile photo was off, meaning she had blocked me. I was angry for allowing her to play ‘chaskele’ with my emotions. I told myself, “Never again.”

It took me two weeks to realized she had blocked me on both Messenger and Facebook. I was hurting but I soldiered on nonetheless. A month later, I’ve moved on and have started making positive moves and building good vibes with other ladies when I saw her friend’s request on Facebook. I looked at her beautiful picture and that infectious smile on her face and tapped on “Block!”

I went to Whatsapp. She had unblocked me. I sent her a message and quickly deleted it and blocked her. It wasn’t too long when her friend called again. She said, “I’m Lucy’s friend and I’m calling…” I cut the line and blocked her too. Even if I didn’t have anything to do with my life, definitely I wasn’t going to stand there for another human being to use me as a garbage can. 

The nonsense had to stop at some point and that day was that point where it all stopped.      

—K.B.A