Like anyone else, I started life with defined goals and expectations. I wanted to go to school, get married, and have kids, all within a set timeline. While I was making these plans, it didn’t cross my mind that life is not a linear equation. This plus this doesn’t always give you that.

I realized this when my dad got sick and became bedridden. He could no longer provide for us. My mother did most of the work, and I also pitched in when I got to junior high school. Things were bad, but as long as our father was alive, we had hope that he would recover eventually and take care of us.

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Unfortunately, he passed away before I could complete secondary school. We were devastated. What made it even more painful was the fact that he had held on and fought so hard for ten years. It was supposed to mean something, but it all ended in his tragic loss.

I am a spiritual person. Contrary to what most people believe, I believe in ghosts and spirits. I say this because my father’s spirit visited us a few times. He would come to me in my dreams. Whenever he did, he would give me money. I would wake up, and someone would just give me money. That’s how he took care of us from beyond the grave until I completed high school.

After high school, I got the opportunity to travel abroad in search of greener pastures. I didn’t go through legal means, so I faced challenges with my documents. There were ways I could have made things work, but everything I tried went against me. I even got into some troubles I knew nothing about. In the end, I was forced to return home.

In hindsight, I shouldn’t have taken things at face value when they were going bad. As a spiritual being, I should have known that there is more than meets the eye. However, at the time, I was focused on putting in effort and letting my work speak for me. Even when I got back, I kept pushing to make something out of my life.

While I was busy trying to make things happen for me, I met Yaa. I loved her so much that I am sure I would have sold my soul just to give her the world. We had a good life together—at least for a while.

Everything was going well for us until it wasn’t. Once again, I was back to the place I was when I was abroad. I was doing everything right, but nothing seemed to work. I spoke to people for guidance. “How do I stop myself from losing everything I own?” I would ask. When I applied the advice I got and saw no results, I sought spiritual help. Still, nothing changed.

Yaa is the typical Pentecostal woman—she would wake up at dawn to pray until dusk. I, on the other hand, have no allegiance to any religion but a strong belief in God and higher powers. When things got really bad, Yaa went outside her faith.

She and her mother took me to their hometown, Ahanta, to seek help from a spiritualist. The spiritualist gave me specific directions to follow and herbal capsules to swallow. I did everything he asked without question. The enthusiasm with which this man gave me the instructions gave me confidence that I would be liberated from my shackles. So imagine my disappointment when my life remained unchanged by all the things I did.

While my life was falling apart, Yaa was doing well for herself. I had invested so much in her that it wouldn’t have made sense if she also failed like me. Maybe I should feel proud that she is who she is because of me, but honestly, I feel helping her is the reason my finances suffered.

When we first met, she had nothing. She was in her second year at Central University, struggling to pay her fees and take care of her needs. That was when I stepped in. I paid her fees every semester and gave her pocket money every week. I took care of her other expenses as well.

On two occasions, I gave her capital to start a business so she would become independent. Both times, the business failed. Nonetheless, I didn’t give up on her.

When she graduated, I paid for her to learn a skill—makeup artistry at Mina’s Touch. I covered the cost of her training and purchased the kits she needed.

During her National Service, Yaa didn’t touch a dime of her NSS allowance because I gave her money weekly and even paid her rent.

When she finished her service, we got the opportunity to operate a beauty salon at Kaneshie. I helped with the setup and financed some aspects of it while she used her NSS savings to cover the other costs.

Unfortunately, the salon wasn’t as profitable as we had hoped. I often had to step in to provide money to pay her staff. When we suffered more losses than profits, we sold the salon and invested the money into a wholesale shop for drinks and water.

I did all this because I planned to marry her. I believed helping her get on her feet was the best thing for our future. Besides, for some reason, I felt obligated to meet her needs at all costs, even if it meant sacrificing my own well-being in the process. This urge was so strong that I even went to the extent of selling my car and giving her the money to invest in her business.

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I became a driver for someone else. I had to make sales to survive. I was doing everything right, but it got to a point where I couldn’t keep up with the car’s expenses and rising fuel prices. So the owner took his car back. I think that was the last straw for Yaa.

She stood by me while I lost everything, but shortly after the car was gone, she left me. And her reasons for leaving are best known to her.

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Life is still difficult for me. I struggle to feed myself, and I am drowning in debt. I look back at my life, and it doesn’t make sense. Maybe there’s a power at play in the way things turned out for me. Or it could be that I got a second chance to start all over, but I chose to invest all of it into a woman I thought would stick with me—only for her to walk away when I had nothing left. Either way, I have learned my lessons.

Next time, when I get another chance to turn my life around, I will do things differently. I won’t spend all of it on a woman.

— K.K.

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