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Right from the beginning, I knew it was going to be difficult. How to keep my anger at bay and act normal. I’m not an actor but I tried. Today if you ask me about acting, I’ll tell you I can’t act to save my life. Pretence is hard. Acting like you’re not acting belongs to the professionals in Hollywood. No matter how hard I tried, it showed on my face. It showed in my countenance that all was not well.

She asked questions. I gave a fake smile and said all was well. She didn’t believe me. She said, “Hug me if all is well.” I would do it and do it gleefully.

“No, that’s not how you hug the one you love. Chest to chest. Hide me in your embrace. That’s how you do it,” she protested as a matter-of-factly.

I was boiling on the inside. My lips were lying but my body language couldn’t support the lie. Whenever I had a chance, I picked up her laptop and went through her messages. They were still making plans. They were talking about the styles. She was sending photos in audacious positions and angles. She made a list of everything she wanted him to get her when coming.

Things like these made me want to explode. I would keep myself in check and pep myself up; “Jeff, keep calm. The right time will come.”

She didn’t believe me when I said everything was fine so she started looking over her shoulders. One evening, I checked their messages and she had deleted everything. Another late night, I was busy reading messages on her laptop when she woke up. She said, “I wasn’t sure but something told me you’ve been reading my messages. Why are you doing this? Don’t you trust me again?”

All pent-up anger, every harboured confusion, my feelings of inadequacy and jealousy all came together to make me explode. At some point, I was shaking. “Who are you to talk about trust? Do you know the colour of trust? Have you ever held trust in your hand to feel how it’s like to trust somebody? Yes, I’ve been reading and I know everything going on between you and that borga.”

She started crying and begging. From the way she was talking, I knew she wasn’t begging because she was sorry. She was begging so I don’t tell anyone. She said, “Please don’t let anyone hear this. I don’t know what I was doing. Everything I told him was a lie.”

I asked, “The photos and videos too were lies? All the things you were doing in the videos were lies?”

She fell on her knees and started crying. When I told her I was going to call the man, she jolted. She stopped crying and told me, “No, you’re not going to do that. This is between you and me. You don’t have to involve him.” I responded, “You said you were lying to him. He has to know who you truly are.”

All night we were at it. I told her what I was going to do with the screenshots. I told her about the photos I saved to send to her parents. She got angry and came at me; “Why are you involving people in this issue? Are you in a relationship with my parents? Why must they know what goes on between us?”

I left her place around 4am. She was in bed crying.

All day she didn’t call me. In the evening, I started sending her some of the screenshots and photos. She said, “Do whatever you want to do. I know I hurt you but if you won’t accept my apology, then suit yourself.”

Her mother called to beg me. She asked me to forgive and not hurt her even if I wasn’t going to be with her again. I could hear my girlfriend in the background still saying she didn’t know what came over her.

In their chat, the guy was coming to Ghana on the 11th of December. I waited. My plan was to call him while my girlfriend was with him and spill the beans but I couldn’t wait any longer. Pain is pain. It never leaves you until you do what gives you closure.

I sent all the screenshots I saved to the guy and explained everything to him; how long we’d dated, our plans to get married next year, how she told me she was lying to him. A few minutes later the guy responded.

He apologized to me and swore he didn’t know she was engaged to be married. For several minutes we talked about our disappointments in women and how women could destroy a man’s life. He didn’t believe me when I said I had nothing against him. He thought I was going to hurt him when he came down to Ghana. We resolved our issues like men do and said goodbye.

We Dated For Four Years Before I Discovered He Was A Married Man

My girlfriend texted, “Are you happy now?” I didn’t respond. She sent a voice note begging me to stop talking to people because I’d done enough to destroy her. Her only fear was her photos on my phone. She was scared I would leak them. I told her I wouldn’t because there was no need to. I’ve done what I needed to do and I’m Ok. We both are currently on the floor—ground zero. Nothing to hold on to but start all over again. She wished me happiness and I wished her the same. Time to rebuild but this time, I’ll be slow at trusting and giving it my all.

— Jeff

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