It was her birthday so I took her out in the evening. We drank, we ate and had fun. It was around 12am when we decided to go home. When I got home, I called her line to be sure she was home. I said my goodnight and slept.
I woke up very late in the morning and saw her message on my phone. She had greeted me over two hours ago. I responded and chatted with her for a while.
Her WhatsApp status had been circled green so I checked what she had posted. She posted, “I woke up this morning to realise I’ve misplaced the only money I have left in this world. My heart. How am I going to survive the rest of the month?”
I closed my WhatsApp, got out of bed and started my day. A few hours later, she called me. She didn’t sound happy. She said, “So you watched my status and decided to say nothing? Or you don’t understand what I posted?”
For the next several minutes, this girl went on and on about how I didn’t care about her and how I’d become inconsiderate about issues concerning her. “You know that my last money is missing and you don’t think as a boyfriend you should say something to me or try to meet me halfway? It’s ok. I know my place in your life now.”
She then cut the call and ignored the “I’m sorry messages” I sent her. Later in the day she texted, “You’re sorry? Is that all?” I responded, “Is there anything beyond sorry?”
She left me on read while still online. Her attitude pissed me off so I decided to also ignore her. She texted me, “At least show some care as a boyfriend. Or you don’t know what’s care?”
I read the message and left her on read. She kept sending messages and I kept ignoring her until she called. I didn’t pick up. She sent a voice note, “Or you think I’m going to ask you to pay the money?”
When I ignored her for the whole day, she texted me in the night, saying, “I wish you well in your next relationship.” I quickly responded, “Thank you. I wish you well too.” She texted an angry emoji. I didn’t say anything again.
What Will Make You Leave Me After Forty Years Of Marriage?
She’s now back to her senses and trying hard to make amends, but I’m seeing her as a manipulative woman who’ll go the extra mile just to make you feel less of yourself. Maybe she was joking when she wished me well in my next relationship, but I wasn’t joking when I thanked her. It’s a seven-month-old relationship. This isn’t the only red flag I’ve seen, but this one slapped me in the face, so I want to walk before it’s too late.
Am I overreacting?
— Onua John
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Is better to end the relationship early than to be so much involved and coming out will be difficult. These days, I realized ladies are not considerate at all.
Please no! There’s definitely something that has gone off in your gut for you to come down to this conclusion. If it’s something you can discuss with her to see where she’s coming from, then fine! If not, sope otilor!
You are the one in the fire so you know it’s intensity. But you should have said something instead of taking a look at the status. Just sit down and talk with her. If you believe the red flag is something that can be worked on please do it. And if not away bus.
Run for your life.
You actually seem like the bigger red flag to me. She had every reason to be angry with you. Why would you view a status like that from your girlfriend and then ignore it and keep your phone? It was a clear sign that you didn’t care about her. Even your behaviour after you finally replied her was wrong. What jumps out at me from the interaction was that you were trying to avoid having to give her any money. This was clearly what influenced all your subsequent actions and if it is clear to me, then it was clear to her too. I’m not saying that you owed her any money, but a phone call or a simple message like ” Babe what happened?” would have sufficed. You just needed to show a little care, tell her sorry and you would have come out smelling like a rose instead you behaved like the information that you had just read did not concern you in any way. Even after you belatedly said sorry, you still didn’t bother to find out the details of the story. That was probably what she was looking for, you had said sorry, then what next, no what happened, how did you lose the money, have you found it now? Nothing at all to indicate that anything that she had said was important to you.No one wants a partner who is unable to offer comfort when they need it. Personally I think she’s crazy to try and get back together with you. You’re a classic example of a gaslighter. Imagine that you had posted something like I woke up this morning to discover that I had lost my job, how am I going to afford my rent this month. Then you saw that your girlfriend viewed your status by let’s say 10 and by 2 , she hadn’t even bothered to send you a message or call you, nothing just silence. Imagine how you would have felt. And then you finally call her to express your understandable dissatisfaction with her response or lack thereof and then proceed from there, uptil when you break up with her out of anger.
No bra. You genuinely shock me. So when you viewed that status, nothing touched you. You didn’t think ah what happened, how’s my babe going to survive this month? You just closed your WhatsApp, got out of bed and started your day? Like really? So that means that she could have posted something like I’m having suicidal thoughts, my brother just died and you would have ignored it too. You obviously didn’t care about this girl at all. Man you dropped the ball badly.
At Reg
What’s the post on her status got to do with anything??
I mean if she wanted his inputs, she could have just messaged him.
Onua John and to all that post their problems on their status, that’s a red flag
I mean how do you feel if your partner goes about telling his/her problems to the public when you’re are available to talk to?
I see that as disregard and that is disrespectful.
For all we know, just like how John is being attacked, she’s equally begging others who care to know for support as well.
John. Keep to what you’re doing.
Dont create any room for manipulation and disregard.
Have a good one
I’m personally not a fan of posting stuff on your status, but to say that it’s not a valid method of communication is being disingenuous. You can choose the people who view your status and you can see when they’ve viewed the status. You can’t say because I saw the information only on your status, then I didn’t see it. The truth is that from the moment John viewed her status, he was aware of her problem and she knew that he was aware. Even if she had been planning to call/message him, she would have been rightly ticked off when she saw that he had viewed the status and said nothing. Like the example I made before, if she had posted that she was depressed and she wanted to kill herself, would John also have closed his WhatsApp, gotten out of bed and started his day? Would he have claimed that because he got the information from her status, that’s why he didn’t act on it? Or what if she had posted John you’re an idiot and a fool and I regret the day that I met you? If John had taken offence at that and confronted her, would I posted it on my status, I didn’t send it to you as a message, so we’ve not communicated have been a valid excuse?And his subsequent behaviour didn’t help matters. Nah the truth is that he didn’t want to give her money and that’s why he ignored her.
@Steve thank you for you comment. You said what i wanted to say. Since when did watsApp status became the medium of communication to a partner.
What stop her from calling the boyfriend to break the news to him in a respectful/right way. I don’t let what my partner post on her status get to me ooo. If you like to post your personal life issues or being it the good/bad is a red flag for me. Selling yourself to the world ain’t the the solution to your problems.
Onua John please don’t take her back, for all you may know she doing fun raising with her post.