She stopped me one day while I was on my way out and asked for directions to the main road. I told her, “I am going that way so you can follow me.” She seemed lost but I didn’t ask any questions. We could have parted ways that morning and I wouldn’t know her story, but she didn’t allow that to happen.

She told me about a man she visited in my neighbourhood. “I have only known him for four days but he tried to sleep with me.” I had to run away and leave behind my stuff. I don’t even have any money. I was touched by her plight. So I gave her some cash for bus fare. 

The only thing she had in her possession was her phone. Out of concern, I took her number. I called later to check up on her and the conversation picked up from there. After only two days, she hinted that she would like to visit me sometime. I told her she was welcome.

A day or two down the line she said she was pregnant. “The guy I was dating when it happened denied responsibility of the pregnancy.” When I asked if she planned to keep it she sighed heavily and said, “It’s too late for options. I am almost six months along.” Man, that’s quite a predicament for a woman to find herself in. I felt very bad for her.  

Exactly one week after our first meeting she came to my house to visit me. Everything she did and said suggested that she felt embarrassed to be pregnant and alone. I could tell she wanted to be far away from her father’s house. I don’t know what got into me but I offered her my place. 

Things were awkward when she first moved in. We had only known each other for a week and we were not even in love. I was attracted to her but I was scared to let it show. I didn’t want her to think I was taking advantage of her.

Despite the shaky start, by day four we had gotten comfortable around each other enough to start having sex. We fell in love shortly after that. 

She didn’t have any money to buy baby clothes. The baby wasn’t mine but I gave her money to take care of those expenses. Then she asked me to help her pick a name. “Well, the scan says she is a girl so name her after your mother,” I suggested. She shook her head and said, “You’ve been good to me. You are already being a father to my unborn child. To show my appreciation for your kindness, I want to name her after your mother.” It seemed a tad bit much but I didn’t have the heart to tell her no.

On one cool evening in January 2023, we welcomed a beautiful healthy baby girl into the world. When I received the birth card, I saw my name there as the child’s father. I became worried at once. I asked myself, “Is that how it works? I woke up this morning to find out I am a father when my family doesn’t know anything about a girlfriend. How then will I explain the baby to them?” 

A few weeks after delivery, Linda kept pushing me to let my parents know about their granddaughter. I was reluctant because I felt the whole situation could become complicated in the future. Besides, I was not sure of her feelings for me. There was also the presence of her baby daddy. She spent a lot of time talking to him but whenever I asked about him she would tell me, “I hate that guy.” Her inconsistent behaviour confused me a great deal but I let it go when she finally stopped talking to the guy.

When the baby turned one, I felt ready for the big step. I called my mother and made the announcement. She was pleasantly surprised although she had a lot of questions. Linda and I had agreed we wouldn’t tell anyone I was a stepfather. So to explain why I waited all this while to tell them about my child, I lied to my mum that we had a disagreement when she got pregnant, and didn’t make up till this year.

Three months after that conversation, I took Linda and the baby to meet my family. Since then we have visited my hometown several times. I, on the other hand, have never met her parents. I only spoke to her elder brother on the phone from time to time. 

The closest I came to meeting someone related to her was when she brought a childhood friend to live close to us. They were both jobless so they started selling food at the market. I thought it was a good use of her time so I didn’t complain when they were always together.

One day Linda told me they met a man who offered to invest in their business. “He wants to see us tomorrow. Is it okay with you if I go?” I allowed her to go only for this girl not to return home by 10 PM. I tried to reach her but her phone was off. It was so unlike her. 

When I got tired of waiting for her I got angry and texted her; “If you don’t come home tonight, make sure you don’t back ever.” She showed up at 12:30 AM. I was seething with anger but I allowed her to explain herself. Everything she said didn’t add up but I didn’t drag the matter. 

That weekend I went on a trip alone. I expected her to check up on me while I was gone but she was unbothered. When I complained she said, “Maybe I should find a place and go and live there alone with my child.” I had to drop the issue and tell her not to leave. She didn’t mind me.

The next day she said she found a place. I asked her to tell me where she was going to live but she wouldn’t say. Then the day after that she said she wouldn’t move again. Before I could finish my sigh of relief, she asked for my permission to go and meet the same guy who caused problems between us. I didn’t want to say no and risk another fight.

This time around I went looking for her when she did not return after dark. I found her at a kiosk buying foodstuffs with the guy and her childhood friend. After they parted ways with the guy, I asked Linda why she was coming late again. It turned into an argument. In the heat of anger, she shouted, “When I get home I will pack all my things and leave.” I told her to hurry up and go.

She said so many hurtful things to me. “I don’t love you.” “Yes, I slept with another man.” “You make my life miserable,” among others. When she calmed down the next morning she apologized for her actions. “I didn’t mean those things. I only said them because I was angry.” She did admit she loved me but she loved another man too. It turned out all that talk about leaving my house was so she could go live with the guy.  

I had already told my mother we would visit her with the baby in December. So even though she made me angry, I didn’t chase her away. I felt if I did, she wouldn’t bring the baby to see my folks and how would I explain the situation to them? That the child is not mine, and that I lied to them? I couldn’t imagine myself disappointing them like that.

In a bid to guard my territory, I used a picture of us and our daughter as her profile picture on WhatsApp. Then I went through her phone and found she was talking to three guys consistently. I sent all of them messages using her phone and deleted the evidence before morning.  

The next day she asked if I sent messages to anyone using her phone. I said yes. This made her so angry that she stormed out to her friend’s place and left me with the child. I didn’t ask for explanations when she returned but she volunteered the information. She said she only met one of the guys once so he didn’t matter. Among the remaining two, one didn’t know about me. The one who knew about me sent a voice note calling me names after I sent him the message. He was the one whose house she wanted to move to. 

We were both quiet after the talk. I was in pain but I kept wondering what I would tell my family should I send her away. I interpreted her silence as guilt and remorse. Even when she went to work, I thought she would reflect on her actions and apologize when she got home. Boy, was I wrong?

She returned home, angry with me for texting the guys. I asked her, “So which one makes you angrier? The fact that I texted your other men or the fact that I ruined your affairs.” This started a big fight. 

While we were arguing, she shouted; “Oh yes, I slept with two of the guys.” I got angrier. I grabbed some of her belongings and threw them outside. She was standing in my way so I pushed her to the door and threw her out. “You are no longer welcome in my home,” I shouted.

Before our argument, she had told me that I ruined her chances of moving in with one of the other guys when I sent those messages. So she went to her friend’s place when I threw her out. It made me so happy that I got her somehow. She broke my heart by cheating and I also ruined her relationships with her sneaky links.

READ ALSO: Dear Love, Come Back To Me.

A lot happened after she left my place that night but I won’t go into the details. She returned for the rest of her stuff later and used the opportunity to apologize for all the ways she hurt me. I even gave her money for transportation when she told me she was travelling to her village.

Two days later, I was having a sleepless night so I texted her; “What is wrong with me? I am always thinking about you and the baby. I must be going crazy.” The next morning I didn’t hear from her. By evening, I was blocked. I should have let it go but I called her with a different number. She told me to stop texting her nonsense.

I Had Some Hope For Marriage Until He Invited Me To His Wedding

After hearing those harsh words I asked myself, “Why do I keep chasing you after all the disrespect you have shown me?” I decided there and then that it was truly over. This is my dilemma right now. She has been calling and texting me for the past four days. First, she said she was checking up on me. Then she asked me for a loan. Immediately I saw her message I sent her the money. She said she would repay me but I ignored her.

It appears she started missing me when I stopped chasing her. As if the thought of losing me frightens her. I don’t know what to make of this. One moment she cares about me, the next moment she wants other men, but when I let her go too, she won’t go. Most importantly, what do I tell my family now? Should I come clean and admit that the child is not biologically mine? Or I should keep acting?

— King

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