I was struck with a disease that got me paralyzed from my waist down. I couldn’t walk and couldn’t sleep at night. The pain was excruciating. They said it was a curse that got transmitted through my business. While my parents moved from church to church, my husband stayed closer, carrying me to hospitals and ensuring I didn’t miss any medical appointments.

After six months of not walking, everyone gave up on me. Even my parents didn’t visit the way they used to and didn’t call the way they often did. I had two kids. We brought in strangers to help. One stole our money and ran away. The other complained whenever it came to caring for me.

My husband got fed up so he contracted a woman from the outside who came to take care of me during the day when my husband was at work. In the evening, my husband would take it from there. My husband would rush home after work to ensure I was well catered for. Sometimes, he would sneak out of work just to come home early.

When he took his annual leave, he spent it by my side, bathing me, cleaning after me, cooking for me and the kids and ensuring we lacked nothing. In the morning before he goes to work, he would bath the kids, make their breakfast and take them to school.

I remember one night, the pain was so intense I couldn’t sleep. None of the medications worked. I was crying and praying to die. My husband held my hand and nursed me to sleep. The next morning, this man couldn’t open his eyes. He was so tired and miserable. Out of frustration, I told him, “I don’t think I will ever get better. Why don’t you divorce me? Find another woman who’ll make your life better.”

He chuckled and shuffled out of the room.

I spent almost fifteen months in bed but slowly, with God’s help and the help of my husband and the medical team, I was nursed back to health again. I learned to walk again with crutches until I could walk again and go back to my business. My husband was a god in my eyes. Everyone praised him, including my family who at some point abandoned me.

One night, I thought he was playing a game on his phone but I later found out that he dozed off with his phone slipping off his hand. I took the phone. Before I could put it down, a message popped up. I opened it. Today, I tell myself it’s the greatest mistake I’ve ever made.

A woman had sent nudes to him. Some were videos and others were pictures. My husband was telling her how he enjoyed intimacy with her and wished he could always do it. Another message from another woman was asking when my husband would come and visit his child. I went through the messages. They had a child who was nine months old if my maths is right.

I was shaking while reading. He woke up to see his phone in my hand while seated on the floor. He snatched the phone angrily and went out.

When he came back later, he had a frown on his face. I told him, “I’m happy I know you’re just human. I saw you as a god but today, I see you’re a man just like all other men. You’re fallible and I forgive you wholeheartedly. I won’t fight. I won’t hold a grudge. I won’t complain. You’re still my husband and I believe you know how to handle this situation. Please handle it.”

He sat on the floor and allowed the frown on his face to melt away. He looked up at the ceiling, looked down and later looked at me. He said, “I’m sorry for….” I cut him short, “You don’t have to say anything. All I need is peace. Deal with what I know so it doesn’t threaten our marriage.”

Today he’s a changed man but going through a lot financially. His son outside is now four years old. I don’t know him. In fact, I don’t want to know him or his mother but I ask of them. I ask if he has sent them money. When school reopens, I ask if he has sent his fees and paid for school needs.

Men Don’t Like It When Women Do The Paying

The mother of the child is like a tiger. She worries his peace and threatens him with court issues whenever money is delayed. I know it’s his cross to bear and I won’t interfere but in all, he’s a good man—even good men throw shadows on the floor when faced with the light. We are all made of light and darkness and that’s ok. 

—Owusuaa

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