He woke up one day and said his mother asked him to leave me. This was not how our story began. The first time I met him was at my salon. I didn’t pay much attention to him because I wasn’t the one he spoke to. Most of his attention was on my sister that day. It was safe on my part then, to assume that she was the one he was interested in. I even asked her questions about his interests. She just smiled and said nothing.

After that day, he often came around. He would say hello to me but spend most of his time present talking to her in hushed tones and whispers. When my sister still didn’t tell me if he had expressed interest in her, I told her; “He is a handsome young man. So if you like him you should get to know him and see how it goes.” She just smiled.

Along the line, he started bringing her gifts. Around that time, he had graduated from saying a few words to me to having conversations with me. I engaged him thinking I was being warm toward my sister’s prospective boyfriend.

I found out later though, that he was giving my sister all that attention in an attempt to get close to me. He bought her gifts so he would get into my good graces. This was information I didn’t care to know at the time. I had no interest in being in a relationship.

When he finally stepped up and proposed love to me I told him, “I am still nursing a heartbreak from my past relationship. I am not ready to love again.” He wouldn’t back down. “I fell in love with you from the very moment I set my eyes on you? Why do you think I have been getting close to your sister? It’s all because I want to be in your life.” I was moved by what he said. So I withdrew my initial “No” and said, “Give me some time to think about it.”

He agreed to give me time but he didn’t give me space. He was constantly in my space, doing everything possible to win my broken heart. He seemed determined to love me right. And I grew to like him. In the end, he won my heart. I made the decision to love him without letting my past experiences get in the way.

He is a military man and I am a beauty therapist. He said we would make the perfect duo. My delicate touch would compliment his rough edges.

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After three weeks in the relationship, I noticed he was acting different. I kept asking questions but he wouldn’t talk. He became cold and distant. It was all strange to me.

When I finally forced him to talk he said, “Maame, I have been trying to tell you this but I can’t find the right words.” I urged him to speak freely. “Hmm … my mother said I should end things with you because of your tribe. My elder brother’s ex-girlfriend is a Fante. When she was still with my brother, she got into an argument with my mum and insulted her. She is the reason my mum is now saying no son of hers will marry a Fante woman.” I couldn’t hold back my tears that day.

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I wept like a baby. I kept telling myself that my mother never discriminated against Ewes even though quite a number of Ewe men broke her heart in the past. So why is this woman using one bad experience with someone else to judge me? She didn’t even get the chance to know me first.

When I tell anyone this story, the response is; “He is lying. His mother didn’t tell him anything.” My question is, why would he lie about this? He knew I was already dealing with heartbreak when he met me but he came to finish me kwatakwata. If indeed, he is lying then I leave him to karma.

—Maame

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