I know what I am doing is wrong and shameful but I am not able to stop. And it’s killing me on the inside. I know you will judge me when you read my story. You won’t be wrong to do so. Nonetheless, I hope after you are done you can give me advice that will help me out of this mess I have brought upon myself.
I am a married man but this story isn’t particularly about my wife. It’s still about my marriage though. Here is the thing, my wife and I are very busy people. It was just the two of us at first but we are barely home due to our demanding jobs. Our home was often left unattended as a result. To rectify this, we agreed to bring in someone to live with us.
I left the bringing of the person to my wife to handle. Who to bring, and where to bring them from was her choice to make. We had conversations around the subject but in the end, she made the call.
She brought in a young girl from her side of the family. “We are distant cousins,” she explained. Our plan was to see the girl through school in exchange for domestic help. Both parties agreed it was a fair deal.
After the girl completed high school, she started looking less like a girl in my eyes. I don’t know if it was because she carried herself about differently or if it was because she started looking older. I really don’t know what I saw in her but something changed after her WASSCE. I would see her and think, “This girl is growing beautifully.”
I started developing feelings for her. I am not going to lie, I made no attempt to fight my feelings. I intended to act on them. I wasn’t forceful about it though. I was kind to her. I made her feel safe too. I promised her things I knew she would like. Most of which had to do with plans to help her advance in life.
With the elements of persuasion at my disposal, she didn’t stand a chance. She became more than a maid in our house. She was my mistress too. We were right under her nose but my wife didn’t suspect a single thing. We acted like we barely spoke when she was in the room, and cuddled in the sheets when she was away. As long as she didn’t know then it was alright, I told myself.
When her results were released, we were disappointed. She didn’t do well enough to apply for higher education. Still, that wasn’t the end of the road. “I will make sure I position you properly so you can have a stable life,” I assured her.
While I was exploring other ways to establish her, my wife went through my phone and found our messages. Our dirty little secret has now been exposed. Game over? No.
When she confronted us, we denied it. The evidence on the phone was not concrete enough to make her doubt us. Rather, she doubted her accusations and withdrew them. I can’t state enough how relieved I felt when she dropped the issue.
Instead of taking a lesson from what happened, I continued my relationship with my mistress. My wife found out about us again. This time around she had irrefutable proof. I couldn’t deny it.
She got angry and started talking about leaving the marriage. Just because I had another relationship outside the marriage didn’t mean I wanted to lose my wife. I am very crazy about her. So I threw myself at her feet and begged her not to leave me.
In the end, we took the matter to our folks. They counseled us and helped smooth things over with my wife. She chose to give me one more chance. However, my parents didn’t take it easy on me. They scolded me like a wayward child. I had to promise them and my wife that I wouldn’t look at another woman again.
When we came home I was still secretly involved with the girl. I knew the logical thing to was to let go but at this point, my heart is involved. I love the girl. I also love my wife. Left to me alone, I would be with the two of them. So that’s what I did. I decided to keep them both.
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My problem now is, that my maid has gotten herself a new man. Why should she do this when she knows I have big plans for her? I am so devastated. I don’t know if I should leave her alone and forget about all the plans, or if I should fight to keep her.
I know I am being selfish but my heart is involved now. I would tell myself I need to move on, but the moment she tells me she loves me, I let go of everything and stick around her. I want to help her but I no longer feel the love and attention she gave me in the past. She reserves all that, alongside regular phone calls for her new man, while neglecting me. I am looking for a way to kill my feelings for her so I can cut off every romantic tie I have with her. What do I do to attain my freedom from little Miss Heartbreaker? Please, give me all the tips I can get.
—Kuma
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#SB
masa you are on of the most foolish men period no excuses
Like such a fool. A married man has the mouth to call a mistress who has moved on a heartbreaker. If you really love her, you’ll still help her after all she has rendered enough services to you. Also you have helped to destroy her reputation. Shame on you, you he-goat. And stop cheating on your wife who I genuinely hope leaves you.
Ah Kuma,are you sure you’re normal,are you sure you’re alright or there’s something wrong with you upstairs
Pls try to ignore this mistress if yours, she’s will break up your marriage and later leave you, what your heart is following is lust and not love pls stay focus on your wife and leave this lady alone thanks
Then when women refuse to forgive cheating men they’re labelled names. At this point I’m tempted to conclude that a cheat is only as remorseful as long as they’re caught, coz given a chance you’ll do it with a different person
Dear Kumah,if the girl is still staying with you,it’s time you talk to your wife so you guys will let her go completely out of your life. Your wife should block and delete your number from her phone and do same on your phone too.
Now to those insulting him, just ask where is his wife?…is she doing all her duties as a married woman or she is chasing money,career and her dreams to the detriment of her marriage????
Most men are pushed to cheat because their wives forgot their duties and allow maids to take over the care of their husbands and that is where the problems starts.
Don’t judge till you have walked a mile in his shoes !!!