In 2021 my dad had a stroke. It wasn’t only a stroke. His lungs also suffered. He couldn’t breathe without the help of a machine. He went in and out of a coma and couldn’t talk for days. He was 67 years old so all of us thought the end had come. The family gathered around him every day to let him know he was surrounded by love. We are five siblings. All of us were there consistently.
When he came out of the coma and regained a little bit of his speech, he told my mom he believed it was time for him to go. Doctors said he was getting better but he didn’t believe it. One night he said he couldn’t feel his body and was so sure that night would be his last night.
He confessed to my mom. My dad had two children with another woman out of town. According to his confession, the first child was fourteen years old while the second was nine years old. And the shocking thing was that my dad had played his role as a father in the lives of these two kids without any of us suspecting it.
The confession broke my mom down so she stopped going to the hospital for days, leaving our dad to us to handle. Looking at how my mom was treating him, his situation got worse but slowly he was nursed back to life and one day he was discharged.
For three years, my mom has consistently shown my dad shege to the point this man calls us every day telling us that he wants to die. When he came home from the hospital, my mom threatened him with a divorce and asked him to leave the house. They fought over this for months. My dad came to live with me, later went to live with my brother and went around all the five of us until we later settled the matter.
My mom no longer cooks, wash or clean after my dad. My dad doesn’t even know how to operate a washing machine so on weekends I went there to help him. My mom warned me to stay out. One evening my dad took a stroll outside as a form of exercise. By the time he returned, my mom had locked the door. She screamed from the inside, “Go and live with that woman and the kids. If you had proper legs you would have been walking there and back secretly.”
True to her words, my mom didn’t open the door. My dad sat outside until morning.
When Dad told us, we all came together and descended on our mom. She fought back and warned us to stay out of their issues. It’s not as if my dad is strong ooo. This man still walks with the relics of the stroke he suffered. He gets tired easily and finds it hard to breathe sometimes but mom doesn’t care.
We were all scared for our dad so we advised him to move to his family house. He says no. Nobody can take him out of his own house where his wife is.
We wanted to know the kids and meet the woman involved but my mom placed an advance curse on anyone who tries to extend a hand to those kids. Currently, no one speaks about the kids, not even my dad. But something tells me my mom is doing something evil to secure all the properties so those kids and their mother will have none in case my dad dies soon.
She Calls My Mom A Witch Because Of This…
It’s a whole drama every new day but what hurts my heart most is how my dad looks at his age without the love of his wife. He was everything my mom had and you’d never see my dad without my mom since they both went on retirement. I guess it’s the reason it hurts my mom so bad. I pray things change but dear men, try and do better. The pain is too much already.
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You must get your mom to forgive him. Marshall all the forces, her family, the church, her friends and badger her until she agrees to some settlement even if it means getting your father help with his domestics. Believe me, you will have no peace until you find some resolution to this
Forget about your mom. She’s not the first person to be betrayed. But think about the two innocent children of the other woman who can’t reach their sick father. Arrange to meet them secretly and give them a word about their father. They are your flesh and blood. Your mother can’t do foko.
what’s wrong with your mum, was ur not performing his duties? u guys are fortunate to have a good father after all he has confessed
get the family and men of God to advise her
I have to say that most of my sympathy is for your mum. Your dad is only reaping what he showed. When he betrayed a faithful wife of over thirty years duration for another woman, he should have known that he wouldn’t escape scot-free. Your mother’s refusal to forgive him is a testament of how deep her love was for him. A love that he obviously didn’t value. He has made his bed, let him lie in it. You guys can employ a house help to assist him with domestic chores. As for the children you have to respect your mother’s wishes, she’ll see it as the ultimate betrayal if you reach out to them. Basically you’ll have to decide which one is more important to you, her or them. However I hope that your dad still takes care of them financially and that he’s still in their lives. They are innocent in all this, it’s not their fault that their parents are scumbags
But I’ll still advise them to go for couples counselling. The truth is that your mum still loves him deep inside, that’s probably what hurts her the most, that’s why she still can’t stand to look at him after 3 years. Let him try to break down her walls. Do the small things that she enjoys, that made her fall for him in the first place. Convince her that she’s still the most important thing in his life, that’s he is a total scumbag for betraying her and that it was all a horrible mistake that he repeated, but that he will never make it again. If he can spin it as a temporary bout of insanity he should try that, a midlife crisis that went too far. As for properties, it sounds like your parents had a pretty egalitarian marriage and that she contributed significant financial resources to their joint property. The children deserve to be taken care of, but their mother definitely doesn’t deserve to be rewarded for helping to break up a happy home. If your parents own the property jointly, then the children are screwed, if he doesn’t have a will, then your mum is his primary heir at law. But your dad should try and provide for them financially in the event of his death. If he has separate funds, he should try and secure their university education. They should be 17 and 12 now, so optimistically in 5-10 years they should start having some degree of financial independence, but they realistically cannot expect a share from properties that were acquired with your mum’s financial contributions
God bless you Reg you have said everything right I must say one of the most sensible comments on here. I saw a comment where the person forget your mom she can’t do Foko, another said after all he has confessed funny I pray these set of people gets betrayed by their spouses and only finds out when they are grey. A lot could have gone wrong for your mom ex: she could have gotten a disease and wouldn’t have known how cos never in her wildest imagination would she think her beloved husband would cheat, or some jealous lover out there who obviously knows her which is the irony of life side chicks always no the wife but the never knows who the side chick is, could have caused her harm and for what? Just pray she eventually forgives him cos betrayal is the highest form of pain your partner can inflict upon you. Also remember properties wise, you mentioned pension together meaning your mom wasn’t a housewife so who do you think will sit unconcerned in this day and age and watch they had toiled for all their lives go to someone who obviously doesn’t know the genesis of those properties just because her husband was unfaithful? If you can do that then using evil for your mom in your write up is cool but if you know you can’t then you have no right to even say you think your mom is planning evil. Those kids are innocent but they are not your moms business.