When we first became friends, one of the questions I asked was, “How did we not meet earlier?” We were in the university for four whole years but I met Fausty when we were about to complete school. I told myself I wished I had known her earlier. We became so close to the point that if you saw us fighting and tried to take sides, you would become a third person.

Some people believe that if you tell your friend everything they will use it against you. Well, that wasn’t us. Even subjects that were supposed to be sensitive, we discussed them.

Fausty was seeing two different guys at the time: Kwame and Kojo. She took Kwame more seriously because he was closer to her, but she was playing hide and seek with Kojo. I wasn’t in the relationship with her but I observed that Kojo loved her very much. While he was ready to settle down with her, Kwame showed no signs that he was serious about her.

One day, after a phone conversation with Kojo I told her, “Fausty, not all men are like Kojo. If he decides to leave you right now you’ll realize the good man you’ve lost.” I had to say something because of the way she spoke to him.

A couple of months later, Kwame broke up with her. It almost broke her but thankfully, she had Kojo to focus all her affections on. I wasn’t physically present for her but I did my best to offer her some emotional support. I told her, “Forget about Kwame. I never thought he was good for you anyway. Now that he is out of the picture give your all to Kojo and make it work.”

To my utter surprise, Kojo and Fausty never went a week without fighting. It was rare to see them not arguing. Sometimes it was his fault, sometimes it was hers. When it was her fault, it was usually about the way she talked to him.

One day, they had a very heated argument. I didn’t know the cause, but it looked like they were breaking up. He asked Fausty to give him my number so he could talk to me about their problems. Fausty asked if I was okay with it. I said I was fine. Maybe that was my mistake.

I spoke to them and they resolved their issues. Within a matter of days, they were at it again. I tried everything I could to make things work between them, but they were slow to make changes. When I got tired I said, “Going forward I won’t say anything about your issues anymore. “If you two won’t change then leave me out of your problems.”

Regardless, Kojo insisted on calling me. Sometimes he called when he couldn’t reach his girlfriend. Other times he called to check up on me. When I realized his calls were becoming more about me than Fausty, I stopped answering them.

Eventually, they broke up. According to Kojo, they didn’t share the same doctrines. He also said he didn’t like the way she spoke to him. Based on my experience with the two of them, I didn’t say much. I only consoled my friend and empathized with Kojo.

I hoped it would end there but that was just the beginning. He started calling me randomly, just like before. I’d ignore his calls hoping he would take a hint but he is relentless. At a point, I sensed where he was heading. So I was determined to avoid him.

One day, he called again and I picked up. It was my plan to tell him to stop bothering me. That was also the day he expressed his feelings for me. I saw it coming but I was still surprised. I asked him, “Do you even understand what you’re telling me?” He said he did. I told him, “Then bury those feelings. What you want will not happen.” I expected him to accept my rejection with maturity and grace but he won’t leave me alone.

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It didn’t make sense to him that he should kill his feelings for me because of his history with Fausty. I have blocked him but he has ways of contacting me. When he calls with those numbers, I block them too. Somehow he seems to have an endless supply of numbers to call me with so the blocking is not working.

Here lies the case where I use my phone for business. I can’t keep ignoring strange numbers because of him. I’m at a point where I don’t know what to do anymore. I’ve done everything I can, but this guy just won’t give up. We women have ways of sending guys away. I have tried all of them but he is still lurking in the shadows.

She Calls My Mom A Witch Because Of This…


I asked one of my friends to give me tips on how to make a man leave you alone. She laughed and joked; “But why are you trying to drive him away? He could be your future husband.” I didn’t find it funny. Why should the love of my life be my friend’s ex? Fausty has even said she doesn’t want him to be my friend. “He got to know you through me so he shouldn’t be talking to you considering he broke up with me.” I understand her.

I would feel hurt if I were in her shoes. That’s why I haven’t told her about his advances and relentless pursuit. It’s the last card I am yet to play. While sharing this information with Fausty might help get Kojo off my back, I don’t want to hurt my friend’s feelings. What do you think I should do? He is beginning to give me migraines.

—Aggie

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