My marriage with my husband didn’t have any major problems. Right from the beginning of our journey five years ago, through our first pregnancy, everything was fine. The birth of our firstborn was uneventful. It is the arrival of our second child that has shaken the marriage to the ground.

This pregnancy was a difficult one. I had a lot of complications along the way. Delivery is a whole story of its own. That one too brought me complications.

Less than two weeks after I had the baby, my husband tried to initiate intimacy. My body was not ready. I was still sore all over. How would I have accommodated his touch and given him the pleasure he sought? “I can’t. I am not fit enough,” I said as I shook my head and turned down his advances.

Usually, I don’t withhold myself from him. Whenever he needed it I let him have me. Morning, afternoon, or evening: when the mood called, I was there. I believe that’s why I expected him to understand me when I denied him sex that day.

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Unfortunately, he chose to be vindictive. After that day he refused to help me do anything at home. He wouldn’t even cook for us. I would wake up every morning to cook, clean, and wash clothes for all of us. Then I would attend to the baby and our oldest child. All that work started hurting my back.

I told him, “If you don’t want to help out then at least pay someone to assist with the chores. The slap landed on my cheek before I knew what hit me. It felt like a nightmare. That my husband would hit me because I asked for help with the workload at home.

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I refuse to be with a man who is inconsiderate of me. So I packed my bags, gathered my children and walked away. Now, he is sending me endless messages in an attempt to ridicule me. He tells me, “You are a woman who couldn’t keep your husband because you couldn’t even keep a home.”

I know he is trying to make me feel bad but it’s not working. My question is, did I do anything wrong by walking away? Should I have stayed and done everything by myself even though it was taking a toll on my health?

— Mamie

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