My marriage with my husband didn’t have any major problems. Right from the beginning of our journey five years ago, through our first pregnancy, everything was fine. The birth of our firstborn was uneventful. It is the arrival of our second child that has shaken the marriage to the ground.
This pregnancy was a difficult one. I had a lot of complications along the way. Delivery is a whole story of its own. That one too brought me complications.
Less than two weeks after I had the baby, my husband tried to initiate intimacy. My body was not ready. I was still sore all over. How would I have accommodated his touch and given him the pleasure he sought? “I can’t. I am not fit enough,” I said as I shook my head and turned down his advances.
Usually, I don’t withhold myself from him. Whenever he needed it I let him have me. Morning, afternoon, or evening: when the mood called, I was there. I believe that’s why I expected him to understand me when I denied him sex that day.
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Unfortunately, he chose to be vindictive. After that day he refused to help me do anything at home. He wouldn’t even cook for us. I would wake up every morning to cook, clean, and wash clothes for all of us. Then I would attend to the baby and our oldest child. All that work started hurting my back.
I told him, “If you don’t want to help out then at least pay someone to assist with the chores. The slap landed on my cheek before I knew what hit me. It felt like a nightmare. That my husband would hit me because I asked for help with the workload at home.
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I refuse to be with a man who is inconsiderate of me. So I packed my bags, gathered my children and walked away. Now, he is sending me endless messages in an attempt to ridicule me. He tells me, “You are a woman who couldn’t keep your husband because you couldn’t even keep a home.”
I know he is trying to make me feel bad but it’s not working. My question is, did I do anything wrong by walking away? Should I have stayed and done everything by myself even though it was taking a toll on my health?
— Mamie
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Please no. He hit you and refused to help you because you refused to give him sex. Medically, sex isn’t even supposed to be until after six weeks post-birth. If you go back you’ll still get the same treatment, so it’s best you stay away
The answer is no. Never ever settle for less. Stay till he sees what he has done wrong and if it deos not bring any change then you are better on your own than with such a man.
To avoid the ridicule just block him. Peace of mind is key
Per what you have presented, you did nothing wrong. Your health comes first. I’m not sure if you made him aware of the reason you refused him sex but even so it’s expected of him as your husband to be understanding and protective of you. So yes you did nothing wrong. For him to hit you for asking for help shows how heartless he can be. Equally we also don’t know how the communicated your needs but all the same, your health comes first
You should have found a way of making him feel good the day he ask for sex, some men behave sexually strange at times
If you want to keep ur marriage then get some elders to resolve this issue ASAP
He slap you out of anger, consider his attitude the whole time you have been with him, is he abusive? if not then find a way to keep your home before u regret