I’m having issues in my marriage currently because I went to the salon to get my hair done. You would be surprised that something this simple can land a woman into trouble. Well, that’s what it means to be married to my husband. All we’ve done the most for the past ten years is fight.
With him, you don’t have to try so hard to find a reason for a fight. He is perfect at creating fights on his own. I could blame it on the fact that he has been feeling insecure lately.
However, I don’t feel right explaining his behaviour away with a fancy relationship term. He behaved in a manner that was not proper. It’s that simple to accept it.
What did he do? He wasn’t home when I was leaving for the salon. So I didn’t tell him where I was going. At the salon, my phone was in my bag the entire time. This means I didn’t hear it ring until I was done with my hair and decided to check my phone.
I knew I was in trouble when I looked at my phone and saw twenty missed calls. It’s just that I underestimated the extent of my troubles. While I assumed that the majority of the calls would come from him, I found out that all the calls came from him.
I called him back and there he was, a raging storm of anger. He was raving mad. All he knows is what he has experienced. According to him, I left home without telling him. And when he returned and called me too, I didn’t pick up. My reason that I was at the salon didn’t help the situation. He said it was just an excuse.
I have tried so many times to explain things from my side to him but he is not interested in what I have to say. He has chosen to give me silent treatment instead. Every time he looks at me, I see anger written all over his face.
I don’t know what to do about him currently. His behaviour is scaring me. It reminds me of a time when we had to part ways for two months. It wasn’t my intention to leave him but his character at the time forced my hand.
He had developed a terrible drinking habit. When I first complained about it he promised me he would stop. As time went on he didn’t. Rather, he became more aggressive toward me. Before I knew it, he was hitting me.
I stayed for a while because I believed he would change. But when the abuse continued with no sign of change, I decided to do something drastic. I walked away from him.
He came to show me proof that he had gotten sober before I accepted him back. As for the abusive tendencies, he said he has control over them. I believed him until the incident at the salon. Did I mention that he came all the way there to express his anger?
After that move he made, I have been asking myself if there’s anything wrong with him. Everybody thinks this shouldn’t be a big deal but I am worried that he might get abusive again. I feel like I am trapped in a marriage with a crazy person. Am I right to feel this way?
– Brenda
You have the right to worry. You just have to know how to live with such a person. If possible get away from him for some time so as to clear your mind and decide what to do next. Please add prayers to all you do.
The man sounds abusive and controlling. You’re not wrong
maybe u didn’t apologize in the right way
when you deeply love someone, little error tends to hurt. apology is not only by words but actions, u should know this as a woman and learn how to help him control his emotions provided he doesn’t abuse u physically . One must sacrifice to make it work!
Learn to help a whole grown human being control his emotions? You can not help someone beyond how much they are willing to help themselves. Abuse usually never improves. It only gets worse even when they come back promising to be better. So madam, advise yourself and protect yourself before permanent damage occurs.
Have you ever heard of narcissist? You’re dealing with one right now. And you got right into this mess long before you realized he has a problem. Get help. Learn more about who a narcissist is and free yourself dear.