When the first pregnancy happened, he told me he wasn’t ready for a baby. I understood him and got rid of it. He promised to pay back the money I paid at the hospital but he never paid. A year later the second pregnancy happened.

I was determined to keep it but he was determined to let it go. We talked extensively about it. I wanted to understand why but he didn’t offer any tangible reason apart from “I’ll be travelling abroad very soon. I don’t want to leave you here with a child.”

He held my hand and walked me to the facility. When I was done, he took me to his place and stayed with him for the next four days. I loved his caring hand during those moments of agony. I loved the way he provided for me. Everything showed he was the partner I needed so I was patient.

A few months later, he came to tell me his mother had found him a wife in their hometown and was forcing him to marry that woman. I laughed. I said, “It can’t happen. You’re not a child to allow your mom to dictate to you.” He tried convincing me to accept so he compensates me. I said no.

The Secret He Wasn’t Telling Me Was On His Phone

One day he gave his phone to a woman and asked me to talk to her. The woman sounded frail, like an old woman. She persuaded me. She said it was a tradition in their home to marry from the lady’s line. She was firm when she said, “If you force yourself to marry him, you’ll suffer for nothing. You can’t have a child or happiness. Don’t force your way where you’re not welcomed.”

I cried all night thinking about the four years I’d wasted with him. He was excessively sweet when he wanted me to agree so every question I asked him he answered. I asked about their hometown and where they lived. I asked how come he had to marry from only that line.

One morning I picked a car and headed to their hometown to look for his mother. I met a woman who was younger than the voice I heard on the phone. She was so excited to meet me when I mentioned I knew her son. I told her all the story. Where I’d been with him and even the abortions. “But now he says you want another wife for him,” I concluded.

She called her son right there and said, “Herh Joe, what woman am I giving you that I’m not aware of? Your girlfriend is here. What did she do?”

He was lying about everything. His mother told me, “My daughter, I’m a church elder. I can’t lie. I don’t know anything about it.”

Is There A Perfect One Out There For Everyone?

Currently, he’s mad at me for finding out the truth for myself. He doesn’t talk to me. He insults me whenever I make a move on him. He demeans me. I’m a very beautiful girl. I can start afresh but I’m scared of the effect of my past that’s why I’m holding on. I’m not going to force my way again. I’ll lay low but I swear this man can never marry as long as I’m alive. I’ve told him that. He thinks I’m joking but as far as I draw breath, both of us will forever remain single!

— Eduwa

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