I’m in my early thirties, specifically 31. I am single with no child. I never thought this would be my life when I was growing up. As a child, I was sure that I would be married at twenty-four. By twenty-five I would start having kids. The plan was to grow together with my children. That way, I wouldn’t now be raising kids in my old age. 

This dream of mine is the reason I have always taken my Christian walk seriously. They say God perfects everything in his time. My prayer was that his time would align with mine. After all, the good book says He grants our desires if we are faithful in our walk with him. That is what I have always tried to do. 

One thing I never joked with was my sexual purity. In my teens, my peers were going about sowing their wild oats. Any girl who was willing to lay with them was fair game. I did no such thing. As a Christian, I understand there are spirits involved when it comes to physical intimacy. I didn’t want to open up myself to all sorts of demonic attacks. So I took the bold decision to abstain from intimacy until marriage.  

After school, I couldn’t get my dream job. The kind that would earn me enough money to marry at the age of twenty-four. It was disappointing but I didn’t give up. A delay does not mean cancellation.

I was not financially stable but I managed to approach a beautiful lady I knew. I proposed love to her and she did not drag her feet before saying yes. I told her about my intentions for marriage. I explained that although I was not ready yet, I was saving money to be ready as soon as possible. 

She was happy to hear this. We supported each other as we would have done if we were to be married. We never got intimate but that didn’t stop me from contributing financially to the relationship. We were each other’s ride-or-die until her parents found out about us. They didn’t like my tribe. They didn’t hide that fact when they asked her to end things with me. 

We all know how it is to deal with young people in love. My girl refused to leave me. She loved me too much to let go. Her parents also weren’t ready to lose this battle. They took things up a notch when they decided to disown her if she continued with the relationship. How could I win against that? We had no choice but to accept defeat and let them win. 

After that relationship, I have not had any meaningful relationship in my life. I have met a woman I was crazy about but she was a single mother who did not want any relationship. The other ladies I met too, never went beyond the talking stage. Most of them left when my tribe came up. Once I mention that I am an Ewe, they disappear. 

The few women who made it past the talking stage ended in less than four months. Someone would say maybe I have a bad character. I am not trying to praise myself but I don’t. I don’t offend these women. It’s not even in my nature to do so. Naturally, I am nice, quiet, and calm.

I don’t entertain multiple women at the same time. When I decide to give my affections to one woman, she is all I want. I cherish her and love her with my whole heart. It’s just sad that treating a woman right does not mean they won’t break your heart. 

The most recent one really wrecked me. This lady was introduced to me by her relative. All our interactions were on the phone. She told me, “I am tired of playing games all in the name of dating. I am ready to settle down.” That was what I also wanted. I felt we were on the same page then. So I asked that we study each other for marriage. She agreed. 

I had not seen her but I did my best to support her financially whenever she was in trouble. The last one was when she contracted candidiasis (white). I gave her money to see a doctor. When she came back she told me about the prescription. I paid for the drugs. I paid for everything she needed until her infection was cured. 

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The day she told me she was cured was the day she told me, “I am trying to love you but it’s not working. I am no longer interested in the relationship.” That’s how our relationship began on the phone and ended on the phone. We never got to see each other. I felt she used me to pay her medical bills. That’s why it hurts so bad. 

I had so much hope when I was in my twenties but right now I am tired. I am emotionally, psychologically, and physically drained. I wish I would even forget about relationships entirely but I need a partner. 

I Found Him In Church Cheating Instead Of Praying

People don’t believe me when I say I’m single unless those who are closer to me. My life has been work, home, and church. I am a soft-hearted person, very emotional. I need a partner but nothing seems to be working for me. It makes me feel my prayers are not getting answered. So these days I struggle to pray.

No lady can stand somewhere and say I have used and dumped her. On the contrary, it is I who spends my little money on them, only for them to disappear afterwards. Due to my past experiences, I feel like I don’t deserve to be loved because I am too nice. Meanwhile, treating someone, especially, a lady badly is something I dislike in my life but women are too wicked to me. This thing has been eating me up. I think about it and cry but I am tired of my tears. What do I do to change my situation?

— Godsway

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