I like guys. I don’t do well with women. When I was young, you would always find me where the boys were. I talked like them. I behaved like them. I learned what they learned and became one of them. Unfortunately for me, my body didn’t allow me to be a boy. I started growing breasts and that ended my dream of becoming one with the brotherhood.

When I reached puberty, the advice started coming in from all angles; “Boys are not good for your health. They’re not good for your dreams and are not good for anything a girl like you should stand for. They’ll get you pregnant and affect your health. You’ll drop out of school and affect your dreams of becoming someone great. If you are like them, you can’t be a woman.”

I still stayed with them. In JSS everybody said John was my boyfriend but he was just a friend. It entered his head so he told me, “They say you are so why don’t you become?” He tried to kiss me. He tried to play with my budding breast. All I wanted was to be his friend but he wanted more. I ran away.

I had a series of friends who were guys. They all ended up wanting to make soup with my flesh but guess what, I stayed clean, green and preened. Thomas won when I completed SHS. He was also a friend before he convinced me to be his girlfriend. I said yes, thinking he wouldn’t ask me to do it with him. He persisted. I had to run.

I’m twenty-three years old and still green. I’ve fought a lot of battles with boys. I ended up winning or got lucky. I still want to have a friend who’s a guy. Someone who won’t think of me as a love interest. Someone who’ll see me as a true friend and treat me the way he treats his guys.

How Do You Find Love Again As A Single Parent?

They tell me it’s not possible. They say the best for me is to get a boyfriend and make him my friend. I don’t want romance. Just friendship with a guy. I can play video games. I can speak pidgin. I can call them Bro. No, I’m not a tomboy. I’m a woman at heart and soul and dress like a woman. Tell me, why is it so hard for men to remain friends with a lady without thinking of going to the other side? Can I ever have such a friend?

— Tyler

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