When Our second child, a girl, was born, my husband made it clear he didn’t want another child. We had two girls. I wanted more. Three or four kids, hoping a boy will pop out of the next. He didn’t agree. Two was enough for him.

He said it with his lips but didn’t do anything to prevent another pregnancy so I got pregnant again when the second one was only two years old. I was elated. I prayed for a boy and hoped it was going to be a boy. I told my husband, “The boy is coming.” He asked indifferently, “What do you mean a boy is coming?”

I winked at him and pointed at my tummy. He didn’t say another word. I went around teasing him; “Third and then fourth then we are done.” I ran my fingers through his hair as I walked back into the living room. He didn’t move or say a word.

The incessant spitting started quickly. Mostly, there was a bitter taste in my mouth. I complained to him. The next day when he returned from work, he gave me a gum or something that looked like a gummy. He said, “Chew it. It helps to brighten up your day and takes the bitter tastes off your mouth.”

It tasted bland but I liked the scent. I asked what it was and he didn’t give me a name. He gave me another one the following day and then the next day. I remember asking for more and he told me it was finished. A few days later, I got a miscarriage.

It happened at dawn. I woke up in the morning to see stained sheets. Nothing could help. I lost the pregnancy.

My husband acted shocked and pained and restless. I was the one calming him down but looking back, I’m suspecting him of foul play. Those gummies he gave me. Three times in three days. He never gave me another one. He didn’t let me see the box they came in or the inscriptions on the box. To date, he pretends he has forgotten the name and that he picked it randomly in traffic.

I want to know. Is there a drug of such nature that causes miscarriage? Gummy in nature, sweet-scented but bland in taste? I will never forgive him if that was his plan. What if it got complicated? Could there be any side effects that I don’t know? I pray it’s all coincidence because if that was his plan, I swear something will have to give.

— Efua

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