Dear Kobby,
I read your story. It’s quite a dilemma you’ve found yourself in; a choice between the woman you love and your investment. I have read the comments. Many people have advised you to leave her. It is not surprising. People’s solution to a lot of problems these days is, “Leave him. Leave her.” Meanwhile, if they were the ones in this position, they wouldn’t have left. I wanted to add my two cents, but I worried that it would get lost in the sea of other people’s opinions.
Now that it’s just me and you, let’s talk man to man. You stated that you are in your thirties. I must say this is the best time to settle down. Lucky for you, you have a woman you love and want to settle down with.
Let me tell you, no woman arrives perfect. That’s why breaking up with your girlfriend is, in my opinion, not a good idea. You might think that you are truly done with those ladies but as men, sometimes our past catches up with us. You would do your best to avoid it but the fact that it is within your reach means you have your work cut out for you.
Take me for instance, I used to beat my chest and say that I would never cheat on my woman. Before I knew it, I was “micro-cheating”, if that’s a plausible term. It happened with a lady I considered a friend. We had nothing romantic going on. I didn’t even do anything to suggest I was interested in her in any way beyond platonic friendship.
However, this lady kissed me out of the blue. It didn’t happen once. On the third time, I also kissed her back. This would have ended horribly because I was dropping her off at home when it happened. When she was getting down, she gave me a look. As if to tell me to follow her inside.
I kept asking myself, “What am I doing?” As I sat in my car for a few minutes trying to process everything that happened with the kiss. A while after I drove off she called to ask me, “Are you still out there or you will come inside?” I pretended as if the network was bad so I couldn’t hear her. Luckily, she backed off after that night.
READ ALSO: I Wish I Had Thrown Him Away The Very First Time I Caught Him
That experience has taught me that I can never be so sure of myself. Just because I don’t think something can happen doesn’t mean it won’t happen given the right circumstances. All I am trying to say is, if I could find myself in a sexually compromising situation with someone I have no romantic interest in, imagine what could easily happen between you and someone you have a history with.
Your girlfriend’s concerns are valid and if you love her, you would heed her advice. Moving to a new vicinity because that is what your girlfriend wants will not take anything away from your masculinity. If you do it even though you don’t agree with her, it will only mean you respect her.
What Nobody Tells You About Divorce | Chat & Chuckles Podcast
You can use this opportunity to have a conversation about your lives and future. You can discuss the land and project with her. Make a deal with her that if you move for her now, she should get ready to move into the house with you when it’s done. I am sure she will consider it a fair compromise. In these kinds of situations, it’s always best to meet each other halfway.
Bear in mind that no relationship is perfect. Just because you encountered a rough patch doesn’t mean you should run. You have to be determined to work through things and make compromises.
If you were the one who found her notebook filled with the names of her past lovers, some of whom live close to you, wouldn’t you want her to move too? In my opinion, you guys don’t have an unsolvable problem. Talk to each other and find a common ground. I’m rooting for you!
Sincerely,
— Fellow
This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at [email protected]. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.
#SB
