This morning, I woke up a happy girl. I had a smile on my face like the Cheshire cat who got the milk. I have been feeling this way for the past five months. That’s what a healthy relationship does to a girl’s heart. It fills it with so much calm and peace that it shows in every aspect of your life. It is why my face has turned into a happy smile these past few months. Tell me why I shouldn’t shout this beautiful love of mine from the rooftops. Well, we are in modern times and the internet is just as visible as the rooftops so I am here to tell the world about my beautiful man.

It all started when I was doing my internship. One of my colleagues told me about a job opportunity in another organisation. “I decided to try my luck and apply. You too apply and see.” I wasn’t sure I would get it but I took the chance. Luckily they hired me after a series of interview sessions. The very day I started the work was my birthday. I was in such a celebratory mood that I barely paid attention to my environment. However, there was a guy who got my attention. He was just going about doing his job but I could tell he was the quiet type. Gentle too. I told myself he was the one person at the workplace I was likely to get close to.

In the course of the week, I learned his name is Kofi. Yes, he turned out to be just the kind of person I perceived him to be. Kofi is a quiet and gentle soul. Our friendship was a slow one. We didn’t know what to say to each other beyond, “Hi … Hello”. Even when we took the conversation to WhatsApp, it was just pleasantries.

By and by, we got comfortable around each other. We would share some office gossip here and there. That eased things between us. Our shared interests in our work and the people we worked with was what we needed to kickstart things. From there, we started delving into our personal lives. It was always interesting to talk to him. The conversations were so good that we graduated to talking on the phone for hours.

Kofi and I have a lot in common. So we never run out of things to talk about. In my entire life, I never experienced this type of friendship; not with a woman, and definitely not with a man. It was beautiful to just let myself go and be my true self around him, knowing he would never judge me. I believed he felt that way too.

If not he wouldn’t have asked me one day, “Christy, will you be my sister?” He said he had always wanted a sister but never had one. “You feel like home to me. And that’s what family feels like, so you are the best person to be the sister my mother couldn’t give me.” I was so happy that someone had chosen me to be their family. I said yes while literally bouncing on my toes.

Kofi was so happy that he introduced me to his entire family. His mother even addressed me as her daughter. After I met his family, he introduced me to his girlfriend. I even saved the lady’s name as Akuma. That was the nickname I gave her, my sister-in-law. I saw how she made him happy and I wanted their relationship to do well, so I gave him tips on how to make her happy.

I was his go-to person anytime there was a problem between them. I knew how much he loved her so no matter how complex the problem seemed, I was determined to help him fix it. And we usually fixed them. When I came across the latest love songs, I would send them to him and say, “My sister-in-law will like this song. Send it to her.” He would often come back and say thank you after she showered him with praises. There was even a time when they got into a serious fight. It affected him badly. He couldn’t even put himself together at work. I had to intervene and write an apology note for him to give to her. It made things calm between them.

Upon everything we did to keep his relationship alive, my Akuma served Kofi with freshly baked heartbreak when she went to tertiary school and met another guy. It was a sad situation but I teased him a little. It was the only I could get him to laugh. All that aside, I consoled him and did my best as a friend to help him heal. If he needed to rant about it, I was his listening ear. If he needed to go out and eat something to relax, I was by his side. After all, what are friends for?

After he was ready to move on, I spotted a nice young woman who would be perfect for him. I launched a mission to bring the two of them together. Nonetheless, we had to abort the mission when we discovered some unpleasant things about the lady.

Along the line, I met a dashing young man who swept me off my feet. I didn’t even know what hit me. The next thing I knew, I was head over heels in love with him. My boyfriend knew about Kofi and it made him uncomfortable. He complained that our closeness was too extreme. The fact that Kofi and I were that close even when he had a girlfriend made me feel someway about giving him space, so I didn’t.

This caused friction in the relationship. We fought sometimes about Kofi but I never told him. It didn’t take long before Kofi also started dating someone new. This new girlfriend of his also complained about our closeness. Well, now that he had someone I didn’t feel guilty about keeping a distance from him. We were still good friends but the frequency of our communication reduced.

After almost two years, Kofi called me one day sounding like a defeated man. “What’s wrong?” I asked praying in my head that nobody died. Thankfully, nobody did but he said he was in hell. “I feel like someone set my heart on fire,” he almost wept.

His girlfriend was treating his heart as if it was made of plastic. He said he couldn’t take it anymore so he had decided to call it quits. “What do you think? Am I giving up too quickly?” After listening to him, even the agony in his voice was enough for me to tell him, “If you believe leaving is what will bring you peace and joy, then do it.” Two months after I gave Kofi that advice, my own boyfriend dumped me out of the blue. He didn’t even tell me why. Almost three years together went down the drain.

I didn’t want to lose him so easily so I went back to him. “Tell me what I did so we can fix it,” I would beg. This guy said he didn’t have any other reason other than, he had fallen out of love with me. Is it so easy to fall out of love? And there I was, thinking love was forever. In my brokenness, I reached out to Kofi. He consoled me and gradually, it started feeling like old times.

We would discuss how we “killed” ourselves for the people we loved only to be tossed away as if we did not matter. The didn’t even honor our love enough to give it a respectful goodbye. Kofi said, “At this stage, I don’t even want to hear about relationships or love. I will focus on building myself. I give myself seven years. By then I should be in a good place. When I get there, I will just find a woman and get married.” I also responded, “At least, you want to get married. As for me, I don’t want to hear anything about the subject. I love my independence. It gives me the kind of peace and freedom that I know I will not find with a partner.” We all bonded over our mutual disinterest in romance. It was nice.

I cannot pinpoint exactly when or how it happened but all of a sudden, I started seeing him differently. I tried so hard to suppress my feelings for him but it only increased with time. Suddenly, Kofi also started bringing up conversations that suggested that he felt something for me. We had such a good thing going as friends. I did not want to ruin it. So I always found a way to shut down such conversations. I was willing to protect our bond at all costs, even if it meant denying my feelings for him.

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One day we were talking when he said, “I don’t know the future and what it has in store for both of us but even if you end up marrying someone else, just know that Kofi truly loves you.” After hearing this, whatever fear I had about us vanished instantly. It was replaced with this strong feeling that things would work out between the two of us. It was at that point that I told him, “Christy loves you too.” He couldn’t believe it, and neither could I. Thus began our relationship.

I didn’t expect our transition from friends to lovers to be a smooth one but so far, it has been amazing. Not much has changed between us. Even when we kissed for the first time, it wasn’t weird. He treats me like a princess. This is the easiest relationship I have been in. I don’t have to be very careful or watch what I do or say to make things work in this relationship. He doesn’t only say he loves me but demonstrates it by how sweet and thoughtful he is. I never imagined someone like me could pull a full package like Kofi.

It Will Be Difficult For Me To Commit To One Person

Two months into the relationship, he got the opportunity to travel abroad in search of greener pastures. Despite the time difference and his work schedule, he still makes time to talk to me every single day. Sometimes when I express concern that he may not be getting enough rest, he tells me, “Babe, you are my therapy. Every day I talk to you, I get the strength to face the next day.” Yes, I know. I am a lucky girl. If perfect had a face to it, it would definitely be my man’s.

I can’t believe that all this while, true love was right under our noses, but we were both so blind to it that we were busy looking for it elsewhere. Sometimes it pains me that we had four good years to be together yet we didn’t know it. And just when we found each other’s hearts, he had to go and live so far away after only two months together.

Regardless, we know that things will turn out in our favor and we will both live close to each other again. Long-distance or not, I am just so happy that we are together. I never knew I could love this hard until I found someone who loves me unconditionally.

— Christy

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