I belong to a family of three girls. It was me, my two sisters, mum, and dad. We were fairly peaceful as a family until my dad passed away two years ago before I entered the university. A few months after the burial, my mum started seeing someone new. We didn’t think there was much to it at first. My sisters and I are old enough to understand the dynamics of adult relationships. We understood that our mum was probably lonely and needed a companion. That’s why we opened our home to her new boyfriend. We treated him with respect because of what she meant to him.
Unfortunately, this man keeps doing things to prove that he does not care at all for us. I am the middle child. My older sister is working. My younger sister is in her teens. We are not asking this man to replace our father in our lives. Even if he is not interested in providing our needs, that’s fine. What’s not okay is when he comes to us asking for money. Tell me, why should we be the ones to give our mother’s boyfriend money?
Recently, my elder sister decided to do some renovations in our house. When we needed a mason, my mum said her boyfriend could do it. However, when the time came for him to deliver, he took my mother’s money and added his to it to pay a mason to do the work. I know that at the end of the day the job got done, but I don’t understand why he took money from my mother before he paid the mason the full amount requested. He is dating her so shouldn’t he be responsible for her somehow? Here lies the case where he would rather ask us to buy him stuff without offering us money.
Upon everything he was doing, my mum called me the other day saying this same man was going after her friend. We advised her, “This man is not good for you. He is taking from you without helping you. Please cut ties with him and let’s just be a peaceful family.” She said okay but a few days later, she started visiting him again. She would be gone for days, leaving my younger sister all by herself. We complained several times but she only got worse. She started going away for weeks instead.
READ ALSO: I Had To Block The Married Man Because Of My Past
I am so mad at her that I don’t pick up her calls again. This is not the woman we knew when our dad was here. That other version of my mum wouldn’t give her children the impression that she cared more about her boyfriend than us. I am saying this because it has gotten to a point where this woman calls my boyfriend asking him for money. Why won’t she ask hers?
It Will Be Difficult For Me To Commit To One Person
Honestly, I am not even sure why I am writing this. Maybe I am just looking for a place to vent. I do hope that the pain is lessened in my heart somehow. We lost a parent two years ago but it feels like we lost two. The mother we have now only cares about the money we give her. When we decided to stop giving her money because of her man, she would get angry and rain curses at us. I am not working but she doesn’t care as long as I put a wad of cash in her hands.
I am struggling to understand how so much could change within such a short time. Or is it that she has always never cared about us but we were so busy enjoying our daddy’s love that we didn’t notice? If not, then why does she treat us so? In all this, I am certain that none of this chaos would happen if our father was still with us. We miss him so much every day. I pray to the heavens all the time that he is at peace. In his absence, what can we do to keep our family from falling apart?
—Ellen
This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at [email protected]. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.
Prayers is the only thing you can do. You believe in God also counts.
Your father was the only stabilising force in your life. This should tell you the silent fights your father may have had to let her understand her duties in the house in the early years of the marriage. If a woman with her first child completing school and working will go after a man less than a year after the husband has died speaks volumes. Many individuals lack self discipline and self-love. If you can go after a hard irresponsible dick after your husband dies, …. let me leave it at this point.
Loneliness is difficult for us because we are social beings. Try to fill some of the void left in her heart by interacting with her more often. Fighting with her will not help. The boyfriend may not be financially buoyant to cater for her but once he is not exploiting her, don’t spoil it for her. I agree she needs to be more responsible towards you, more so your younger sister who is is a teen, but try to let her see reason instead of fighting her.