We were in junior secondary school when we fell in love. What did I know about love at that young age? I didn’t even have any way of meeting Koo outside school. Communication could only be done through love letters. How else would I have spoken to him? My parents would have had my head on a spike if they saw me talking to any boy around my age or older. They would probably follow the boy to his house and warn his parents to keep him away from me. That’s how it was done back in my days.
My house did not own a telephone, so I couldn’t call him either. All we had left were the love letters. I could hide and read his letters, write a response, and pass it to him without any adult interference. That was the entirety of our relationship. There was nothing like physical touch between us, let alone any form of intimacy. Even if we wanted to get intimate, in whose house or whose room would we do it? After school, we couldn’t reach each other.
I still wrote him letters but I didn’t have a way of sending them to him. I aslo believed that he tried to get to me but he just didn’t know how to. Our young hearts still wanted each other but our young minds were limited in finding a way. That was how our relationship came to an end. In secondary school, I met Kuma. We hit it off instantly.
Unlike in my first relationship where I was too afraid to be seen with him, I had the freedom to take a few liberties with this particular guy. We were so in love. When he promised to give me the heavens, I trusted him. I knew there was nothing he wouldn’t do for me. Our relationship continued until we got to the university. The plan was to get married after I complete school. Then all of a sudden he started asking for shuperu. I was surprised because we had agreed to abstain from sex until marriage.
Because it wasn’t part of our arrangement, I always turned him down. I found out later that he was entertaining other women to satisfy his desires. As much as I loved him, I couldn’t stay with such a person. So I left him and moved on with my life.
I went through a few failed relationships but I finally got married. Even with my marriage, things were not going well until December 2023. It was around that time that I ran into my JSS ex-boyfriend, Koo. We were completely different from the kids who were once in love with each other. Just as I am married, he is also married and has his own family. We were so happy to meet each other that we ended up talking about everything.
By everything, I mean the guy I dated after Koo and I drifted apart. I am talking about all the problems I am facing in my marriage as well as the problems he is facing in his marriage. After we caught up, he suggested that we leave our respective partners and get married to each other. I remember telling him, “Marriage is not something you just walk away from. I am not ready to give up on everything I have built just yet. I want to pray about my problems for five more years. I will decide on what to do after that.” I also suggested he take the time to ask himself if who he has become as an adult will align with who I have become as an adult as well.
Well, he is not happy with my five-year plan. This is because he thinks five years is too long to decide if we should end up together. He says by then we would be fifty, thus too old. I know I won’t change my mind about what I want so I haven’t paid much attention to him.
Just two days ago he brought up the issue of the guy I dated immediately after him, Kuma. He asked questions and I innocently answered everything. Unbeknownst to me, my answers hurt his feelings. He went off the next day without saying a word to me. I didn’t hear from him the day after that either. It was after he calmed down that he came to tell me that I badly hurt his feelings. He said all those years that I was with Kuma, he was still pining after me and thinking of me as his one true love.
He Called Me On The Phone So I Could Hear The Other Woman’s Voice
He said the fact that I was with another man the entire time gives the impression that I didn’t love him. “I am even sure that if you meet that Kuma guy today, you will leave me and go for him again,” he concluded. I am hurt that he would say something like this about me. Kuma is someone I have not had any contact with in so many years. Just because I dated him in 1995, Koo is feeling insecure. I told him I don’t like such insecurities.
I am even beginning to wonder if our relationship would work out. If he is making an issue out of something that happened when I was a teenager then maybe it’s not a good idea to be with him. Imagine how insecure he will feel if I leave my husband for him.
—Agatha
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You are right. Stick to your plans . What you see him doing is what he will do in the future if you leave your husband for him. No marriage is easy but with determination, prayers everything will be OK.
Sis, coming events cast their shadows. What was he also doing when you lost contact with each other? Who made him judge over you? He has no moral right to use your past against you. After all, you are not a diviner to know what he also did in your absence. Such an insecure person! I believe both of you have evolved since JSS. If he truly loved you, he would have taken the pains to contact you. In my considered opinion, this guy is manipulative and toxic. You may end up losing your marriage by moving from frying pan to fire. Ignore him and work on the issues you’re facing. He is not worth another chance.
Agatha if you’re not careful with this your Koo guy,you’re going to be miserable for the rest of your life,you’re going to regret the rest of your life, this Koo guy doesn’t have any good intentions,mark my words,he’s just deceiving you, don’t be fooled, concentrate on your life,pls the fact that you’re having marital issues doesn’t mean you should entertain him,set boundaries for him,he won’t give you happiness, my dear pls pray for the spirit of discernment and be wise,this is what I have for you as an advise, if you’re not careful you’ll regret big time for falling into his hands,it doesn’t matter if he was your first love, you have no idea what people turn into or become,30yrs is no joke the sort of person he is now, you don’t know who he is after 30yrs,pls don’t be fooled
Don’t leave ur marriage for anyone cus nowhere cool