The entire time we dated, she had eyes for other men but me. There were times I saw her checking out other men in my presence but I never made any fuss about it. Love is blind, isn’t that what they say? So even when I saw something I didn’t like, I forced myself to be blind to it. I thought that was going to be the least of my problems until I started seeing more alarming things. I started monitoring her. That was when I found out she was entertaining so many guys. I put up with it a few times but when I got tired of competing for my woman’s attention with other men, I left her.
One day I fell seriously ill and found myself on admission at a big hospital. Coincidentally, she worked at the same hospital. But that wasn’t the craziest thing. No, her younger sister was also on the same shift as her. I didn’t know about this sister of hers until that day. And my ex was determined not to be associated with me that she pretended not to know me. I also played along.
She treated me the way she would treat a patient she had no emotional attachment to. I didn’t mind. After all, I was sick so my mind wasn’t even working in that direction. Her sister on the other hand, was calm and so kind to me. She didn’t know who I was but she went out of her way to do things for me that she shouldn’t have even bothered with. Although I was unwell, I observed that she was beautiful, and did things in such a smart and prompt manner. It warmed my heart.
Fortunately for me, my ex’s younger sister was on duty when I was discharged. That day she took my number before I went home. I honestly didn’t think much of it. I thought she was just a concerned nurse. Maybe she wants to follow up and make sure I take my medications properly, you know? Anyway, that was the beginning of everything beautiful and everything dramatic.
It didn’t take long before random texts that read, “How are you? I am just checking up on you,” turned into, “Hello dear, how was your night?” Before we knew it, we were having phone conversations and talking about how each other’s day went. It was the last place I expected to find love but it happened. Arya turned out to be the exact opposite of her sister. I didn’t have to try too hard to be noticed by her. I was the focus of her attention. It was a calming breath of fresh air.
One Sunday I gathered courage and asked her to be my wife. I was half expecting her to reject my proposal, considering that I dated her sister. But it turned out that her sister never told her about us. Well, why should I be the one to talk when she said yes to my proposal?
As soon as she agreed to be with me, we started making marriage preparations. A woman like that should not be courted for too long. Honestly, Arya is a true gem. Six months later, we were got married. During the preparations for the marriage and even after the marriage, Believe antagonised us. She said I was ugly and that there was no way she would allow her sister to marry me. I am not going to lie, it was hard to fight with her without explaining to anyone the genesis of her contempt for me.
After our wedding, I heard from the rumor mill that Arya’s sister was going about telling people that just because I married her sister doesn’t mean the marriage would work. She was very upset and doing everything possible to sow seeds of strife in my home. But I listened to everything I heard with one ear and let it go out through the other. Why should I expend my energy on my jealous ex-girlfriend when I am in a happy marriage with her sister?
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I even heard she told her parents that I was broke so they made a mistake allowing her sister to marry me. I just ignored her. However, I couldn’t ignore her when she would visit and give instructions as to how things should be done. As if she was the madam of the house and we were her loyal subjects. When she first started, I didn’t mind her. That’s because she mostly did it in my absence. However, she started making my wife feel small in her own home. I couldn’t allow it to keep going on.
When my wife confessed that she didn’t like her big sister’s behavior, I warned my ex never to step foot in my home again. “You can’t come to someone’s house and be giving them instructions on how to manage their affairs. If that’s what you want, then stay in your father’s house. Don’t come here again, especially when I am not home,” I told her. She got angry and vowed not to visit us anymore.
He Woke Me Up At 2am And Asked Me To Go To My Mother’s House
Unfortunately, it didn’t end there. I wouldn’t be here if it did. She went to tell her parents what happened between us without providing the proper context. They also didn’t bother to find out what was going on. They took the words of their daughter as the gospel and banned me from visiting their house just as I did their daughter. I wouldn’t have cared if I was the only one affected by this. Arya has been lumped in with me. The fact that she didn’t speak up for her sister makes her an accomplice.
Ever since they cut us off, my wife and I have been experiencing peace. However, my peace is not complete just as I imagine my wife’s isn’t. Can she truly be happy not talking to her parents. I don’t think so. Because of this, I am considering coming clean to her parents. So that they would understand why Arya’s sister is acting the way she is. However, wouldn’t the truth cause problems in my marriage? What do I do? Should I take the risk to fix my wife’s relationship with her family or I should quietly enjoy my marriage?
—King, Cameroon.
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#SB
I will ask you two questions. (1) Is your wife aware of the relationship between you and her sister?
(2) Did you engage in sexual relationship before it became over? If your answer to question 2 is yes, you may have tradition to contend with because some family or tribe will not condone such act of sleeping with two sisters. In that case, maybe you should keep it to yourself and pray that they will come around someday since your ex has not said anything to them.
If your answer to no 1 is no then, please, settle that first with your wife and asked for her forgiveness. You can then decide between the two of you whether to go inform your In-laws or not to explain what transpired between you and your ex.
Our elders say “when you go searching for what’s under the eye of a dead man you are bound to see a Ghost”. Your ex is on a mission to destroy your marriage. Don’t provide the fuel for it. You may want to mend fences with your in-laws but keep her at arms length. Get some intermediaries to explain her intrusion in your home and assure your in-laws that they are always welcome to your home. As for your ex, if she is willing to be reconciled with her sister, it will be difficult to prevent that without spilling the beans. However, insist on boundaries and guard it jealousy.
King, find out if its an abomination to knack sisters in your wife’s culture. Otherwise go clean with your wife first before thinking of your in-law.
The only way out is to be truthful to your wife and your In-law’s. If you don’t and decide to live in peace then I am afraid to tell you there will be no peace. Its either your destroy her work by coming clean. By doing so she will have no base to disrespect and spread lies about you. Remember with truth comes peace. Be prepared for whatever happens after this.
Meet ur ex first and settle any conflicts going on. mind u, u have to compromise
U have disrespected her boundaries and caused abomination. Put urself in her shoes and see how u’ll feel. Just apologize and calm her, afterwards pray to God
Granted that you met your wife in the hospital without an idea about her relationship with your ex, who is her sister, a good background check could have given you a clue to the relationship. That being said, the puzzle began when your ex also failed to disclose the past relationships to the sister before the marriage. You are on your own now between a hard rock and the deep blue sea. Your wife is a total stranger to the whole story so respect her sanity and deal with your ex for a closure. Wish you the best.