Dear Devil,
I know your parents didn’t name you satan but if I were to name you, I would call you that. Not even Lucifer. That name is too pretty and angelic for you. Of course, you know how to turn on the angelic charm just when you need it. Or maybe I was at such a low point in my life that I saw you the way I wanted to see you, instead of truly seeing you as who you are.
I had gone through so much in relationships that I was not ready to get involved with anyone else. I was determined that the next man I date would be my husband. I didn’t want to have to endure another heartbreak. So I waited. If someone came my way but they were clearly not serious about starting a meaningful relationship with me, I let them go. I didn’t even entertain them in a way that would make me form an attachment. I was living my quiet, peaceful life until you came long.
You were sweet. You were charming. Honestly, you would have given the devil a run for his money. Everything about you said, “I am serious and ready for marriage.” You even said it. You said our interests aligned. And that you were also tired of the heartbreaks and disappointments. You were ready for someone real. You were ready for something real. You were done with girlfriends. You were ready for a wife. That’s what you said.
It didn’t take so long before I gave you all my heart. Oh, how much I loved you. You knew it. You could push me in front of a moving bus to save yourself and I would die gladly knowing that my death gave you life. That is how willing I was to do anything for you. Even if I were required to give you a kidney, I would do it in a heartbeat no questions asked. It must be nice for you to know how much power you had over me.
You wielded that power so well, didn’t you? Deny it all you want but it sure came in handy when I found out I was pregnant. The relationship was still young then. You made a fuss about how bad the timing was. “Please get rid of it,” you said, “we are not ready for a child.” I told you I couldn’t do it. I never thought I would be in a position where I would have to be faced with such a choice. I didn’t want to make that difficult decision but you were so sure that you didn’t want the baby.
I remember what you said. “This is not how it’s supposed to happen. I should have married you first.” When I said it had already happened you said; “No. There’s an order to everything. First comes marriage, then comes baby. That is how it is done and ours will be no different.” I cried. I wept for days trying to get you to change your mind but you insisted the timing was not right.
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The last thing I wanted was to have a baby with a man who was clear he didn’t want to be a parent. So I did the most difficult thing I have ever done in my life. I undid our wrong with another wrong and prayed for the good lord’s forgiveness.
My dear satan, imagine my shock when I found out shortly after I terminated our pregnancy that another woman was carrying your child. All your talk about the sanctity of marriage and doing things the proper way was all because another woman was carrying your child? Hers get to live but mine doesn’t? While I took you as my world I was just another girl to you. Another body you conquered on your way to wed the love of your life.
He Woke Me Up At 2am And Asked Me To Go To My Mother’s House
That was when I knew that indeed, I met the devil face to face. Men like you should come with a warning, “Smiles like a saint but don’t be fooled. He is a liar, cheater, and a player.” A simple sign like that would have saved me the trouble of getting to know you for myself. I want you to know that you will feel my pain and anguish someday. The seal of my child’s blood will never let you get away with your deceit.
You must think you won when you got everything you wanted. Maybe today you are smiling but tomorrow you will be the one in tears. Your daughters will one day feel my pain and go looking for answers. I pray you live long enough to see it all happen. And when it happens, you will remember my name for as long as you live.
—Nora Q
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Sorry for the pain . Learn to forgive yourself too. Please exempt his innocent children from the curse because they had no role in your decision to abort. Besides he convinced you but didn’t hold you at gun point to commit the abortion . You had role to play as well. Pray so that God can heal you of this bitterness and pain. Don’t forget to seek therapy too. Remember not all men are the same. Just Pray and ask God to lead and show you to the right person.
Why curse his innocent daughters when the evil man is within reach? Madam please change your mouth and curse the man more and if possible add some deity to it . He doesn’t deserve to live among humans. Wicked man.
Hey gal, tight hugs from a big sister who bleeds with you…..but you know what this is not your final destination. You were a victim to a psychopath. They are the best, they study you and be the perfect guy an then destroy you.
Your story is quite similar to mine very very similar only difference is that i already had kids if my own which he wormed himself into. Pretending to be the best. I never introduce anyone im seeing to mu kids but with this perfect guy who was up to fill the gap n love my kids slowly he was in their space….perfect i tell u!
So back to the story when guy heard i we were preg changed ahhh hee we need to marry first my family this my family that…..well i buckled up and told myself i was all alone. I told him to book the abortion ohh you can imagine how beautifully he was calling me “it’ll all be fine after this mamah!” So i didn’t turn up n told him his kid had died n the one i was carrying is now mine alone. Fast forward he wanted to be the best father. I let him for the child’s sake. But believe you me everyday I wish I could go back to the day just a sec before I met him so id take a turn n run for my life. Coparenting with a psycho is the worst. Nothing is right or proper its all a game. Life is a game for them they manipulate n enjoy seeing someone suffer they are heartless they are truly worse than the devil himself. Mine uses the child. Its not even like he loves her. He loves her to show pple he’s a great dad and loves his child. My daughter is young she doesn’t see through him he will manipulate a 3year old to hurt my feelings. He’ll refuse to pay his side of bills and justify it well to a lawyer. I have to live with this psycho for the rest of my life. You know how bad it is??? Its to an extent that sometimes I feel like just cutting ties with the child so i don’t deal with this demon whose text or phone call is just to leave your day upside down. But you know what? I live life and be happy and it pisses him off. A psycho wants to see you sad n angry and celebrate the achievement. Beat him at his game forgive yourself, you can’t bring your baby back, ask God for forgiveness, ask your baby there in heaven to forgive you n know u miss him or her everyday u just didn’t know better. Take each day as it comes take my story and know that you dodged a bullet. He’s out of your life let God rewrite your love story He will and He can. Life lesson…..sometimes indulging in sex before marriage clouds our judgment it gets us into situations we cant even handle. If a guy loves n wants to marry u what has sex got to do with anything??
So sorry about your experience. I pray you get to heal and eventually meet the right man who will love you right.
One sure way to healing is to trace the path of forgiveness. Not by your own will and power, but by the power of the Lord’s spirit, if you will let it work in and through you. Seek Him first, and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.