If you haven’t read the first part of this story, here’s the link. Kindly read it before starting this one.

I said we would read the comments together when my story was first published. She read only two comments and told me, “So now the whole world knows you have a drunkard at home. I hear. Go on and sell me. I’m the only sinner in this world.” She got up, grabbed a drink and didn’t bother about a glass. She drank directly from the neck of the bottle. “Tell them I don’t care what they say. It’s my life. I’ll live it the way my heart dictates.”

She knew when I sent the story. She was aware we were going to read the comments together. We felt it was another way to get help so I was surprised about her attitude. She was just manipulating the situation or simply using it to get a free drink. We didn’t talk the whole day. I took my time to go through the comment, looking for what will help her. Some suggested a psychologist, something we had already discussed. Some suggested she shouldn’t feed the baby. Others also said I should take it to the Lord in prayer. And a host of others who blamed me and blamed her.

I found her drunk one afternoon and didn’t say anything. She was sleeping. I simply carried the baby and sent him to my mom. I didn’t tell her what the issue was. I went back home to see her running around the house looking for the baby. I pretended I didn’t know anything about it and started screaming, “What happened to my child? What did you do to him? I stopped and looked under the bed. She told me she had already looked there. I screamed, “He’s not even crawling that well so where can he go? Were you drinking? Did you go out and forget him in a taxi?”

She was in tears, trying hard to figure it out. I bombarded her with questions. I wanted her to build huge regrets within so she wouldn’t desire alcohol again. While pacing up and down aimlessly, I called my mom and put her on a loudspeaker. I asked, “How’s the baby?” She responded, ”He’s still sleeping ooo. This your baby can sleep papa.” My wife took a step back and asked, “Why did you do that? Do you want to give me a heart attack? When did you come for him that I didn’t see you?”

She got angry and kept talking and talking. “It could have been anyone at all,” I told her. “Anyone at all could have walked in here to take him away because you were drunk. If you love him that much, you’ll be sober for his sake.” She called me petty. She said I didn’t have the emotional intelligence to have played such a prank on a nursing mother. When she calmed down, she grabbed a liquor to celebrate the fact that it was all a joke.

I was losing the battle and the sad part was that I couldn’t do anything about it. She won’t stop no matter how hard I tried so what was I going to do? I threatened her with a divorce. She didn’t shiver. I threatened to take the baby away from her and never allow her to see him again and she called off my bluff. I told her I was seeing another woman. “She sleeps next to me with clean breath. One thing I appreciate about her.” She didn’t flinch. She told me, “It’s your life. Do whatever pleases you if that will solve the problem.

I wanted to leave home with the baby and give her space to figure things out herself but on second thought, I felt that would make things worse. She’d plunge into the river of alcohol, swim in it and never come out. When all was lost and I didn’t know what next to do, a near tragedy happened and that made everything straight for us.

READ ALSO: We Were Preparing To Get Married Until I Met His Pastors

Our son started walking at eight months. My wife had started going to work so we sent him to my mom every morning and went for him after work. My wife closed earlier so she went for him. Sometimes, we would leave him there for some days. That Saturday, I was going to a friend’s wedding. Adelaide was supposed to go with me but she didn’t. She said she was feeling sick so I left her and went alone.

When the wedding was over and was going to the reception, I checked my phone and I’d had seven missed calls from one of our co-tenants and three from my wife. I called my wife first. She was crying. I asked what the issue was and she said, “Today you’ll kill me I know. I’m sorry it was an accident. I was sleeping. I didn’t know.” I heard voices in the background. The person said, “Don’t worry he’s fine. Stop crying.” I screamed, “What’s the matter? What’s happening? Who is fine.”

She wasn’t talking so I cut the call and called my neighbor. Our son nearly got drowned. He got drowned I should say. Our neighbour got there in time to rescue him. That was our saving grace. It rained the night before so people in the house harvested water in drums and in pans in the compound. While my wife was drunk and sleeping, our son sneaked out and fell into one big pan filled with water to the brim. My neighbour heard the noise of the splash followed by a baby’s scream and went out to see him struggling in the pan.

Guess what, my wife had earphones in her ears and was sleeping so all the shouting and knocking on the door, she didn’t hear. That was when the neighbour started calling my phone. When I got home, my mom was already there. I was so angry if my mom wasn’t around I might have hit her or something.

That event brought our marriage down to its knees. I was so sure I was out. For the next three months, my son stayed with my mom. Adelaide visited every day. She was always apologizing to our son. She was crying a lot. She promised to be better. She prayed to be better.

She hasn’t drunk again since that episode. I didn’t ask her to stop. I didn’t complain when I saw hidden bottles. One after the other, the all bottles disappeared for the real woman I married to reappear. She asked me, “Are you going to tell them what happened?” She meant Silent Beads. I answered, “It’s not necessary. What’s necessary is for you to continue staying clean. It’s hard what we’ve been through. Let’s get healing first.”

I Didn’t Tell Anybody Because I Enjoyed It

We’ve been through a lot but we are here, clean and sober like she had never known a bottle. She asked me to promise her never to tell our son what happened when he grows up. “He might hate me. I don’t want him to know. Promise you’ll never tell him.”

But here I am telling you. What if he grows up and reads this? I don’t know what the future holds but I know our present is awesome. We are finding happiness in different things. We are creating different kinds of joy and planning to have another one. It can only get better once we are clean and sober.

–Debrah 

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