A few years ago, I was diagnosed with a reproductive health condition. “This will affect your ability to bear children biologically,” the doctors said. We asked if it had a cure. “It can be managed,” came their response. They said if it was managed well, there was a chance I could give birth. However, they emphasized that it was a very slim chance. I interpreted slim chance to mean something that would happen after I had tried tirelessly for years to have a baby.
So I never concerned myself with pregnancy issues. I have a boyfriend. We’ve been together for a while now and we are currently planning our wedding. We didn’t intend to get married at this time but it’s happening. You can say it’s an emergency wedding. It was my boyfriend’s idea. He wants us to hurry up and get married before people start seeing signs that I am pregnant.
Imagine how much the news shocked me when I found out. They said I couldn’t have kids. Or I would have to undergo some treatments to get a slim chance. Only to find out two months ago that I got pregnant without even trying. Because of my medical condition, we were excited about the news. We would have rushed to share it with our families had we been married. That’s why he wants it to happen urgently.
Initially, I was all for the marriage. However, something has happened that is making me unsure if I want to go through with any of it. There is this job I have been dreaming of. It aligns with my passion, pays generously, and has incredible benefits. It’s also an amazing opportunity for me to grow my career. Here’s the catch.
The job is given on a six-month contract basis. It is renewed if they see you as a good fit after your first term with them. They just offered me the position I applied for. I was so excited about it until reality kicked in. I am pregnant. If I start work, by the time my contract expires I will be almost due for delivery. I’m not sure they would renew it again knowing I would spend three months out of the next contract on maternity leave. Then I would lose this incredible opportunity.
My second fear is also the fact that things are not good for my boyfriend currently. He is far stretched on money. Looking at the way things are going, the wedding is going to take a big financial toll on him. This is an unplanned wedding and he is trying to squeeze himself dry to make it happen. There is no doubt that he loves me. I know he is willing to sell some properties if he is unable to secure a loan for the wedding. As much as I don’t want this to happen, I also don’t have any means to help him.
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Left to me alone, we would call off the wedding. We would wait until I can work and save some money. That way we can both pull our sources and plan our wedding without any loan or anyone having to sell their property. Now, do you see my dilemma? If I keep the pregnancy, the job will pass me by.
Now, I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. I have to make a choice between financial stability and a future with no kids. I don’t see myself winning in any of these situations.
I Didn’t Tell Anybody Because I Enjoyed It
If I keep the baby and we get married, we will be broke and even be in debt. How can we raise a child in that kind of financial situation? The less stressful option is to get rid of it. But I can’t get rid of the voice in my head that keeps telling me, “You have a slim chance of mothering a child.” If what the doctors have said is true then this pregnancy is a miracle. So why doesn’t it feel like one?
I have been thinking about this day and night. I need to come to a decision soon because I don’t have all the time in the world. If I get rid of it, I will tell everyone I miscarried. Then I would convince my boyfriend that we should call off the wedding till we are ready. It would work perfectly but I feel so guilty about it. What do I do? Which of these impossible choices do I make?
—Grace
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Sis please put the wedding on hold. As for job you can keep it but mind you there are other jobs out there . Why do you want to get rid of something people are paying and praying hard for? What if you got the extension of your contract and then you have gotten rid of the baby and can’t have kids no more is it worth it? The answer is no. You keeping the baby and working will enable you to gain the money to take care of it and even perform a minimalistic but quality wedding. As for the extension its in the hands of God. You have the job now so why are you being a pessimistic person. Be thankful to God for the child and job for he is the one who made it possible. Since he is the one who gave you both blessings he will see to it that the extension will be yours as well. Don’t forget to pray. There is no problem greater than God.
My dear there is no happiness in this world than watching a piece of your self every day staring at you in the face and talking gibberish all in the name telling you what happened at school or what someone has done to him or her. You will ask yourself is it just yesterday I delivered this baby? Sometimes you will cry and other times you will laugh. Please don’t sacrifice a life for vanity. Even if you will starve to have this baby, do it and you will never regret it. Let go of it and you will be miserable for the rest of your life. You will loose God’s favour. Nothing you do will be successful because you took a precious life. Always remember what the Doctors told you. That baby is a miracle from God. Keep it and nourish it. You will never regret it.
The joy of being a parent can never be compared to anything on the surface of the earth. Any time i look at my son ( though we dont have much) my heart gladdens. My wife and i went through a lot after our wedding to have him so i know how it feels to be a parent. My dear the baby first wai. God will take care of the rest. Just trust him. Mine is a testimony
Consider this as a gift from God, keeping the pregnancy will offer u a lot of benefits,
1. This will draw u closer to God, d Bible speaks against fornication let alone abortion. don’t forget that we’re going to account for everything we’re doing on this earth one day, life is not only about living happily and worthy on earth, we shall leave everything behind, at least let’s all think about our souls and avoid deliberate sins.
2. Money is not everything especially when you have it. People are willing to offer their everything to get a child but do not get the chance. Consider this opportunity and save the innocent foetus, it may be our savior to our poor nation.
3. Do not take the doctors prognosis for granted, this may be the only opportunity or open the gate for more.
Do not allow this job opportunity lead u to commit such an unforgivable sins.
You only live once!
My dear Grace, it will be a terrible idea to terminate this pregnancy..The joy or mother is so unmatched..Give both the baby and your dream job a chance..Pray to God for wisdom as you seek medical advise too..Allow your man to lead and be his support ..Please keep trying lil niece or nephew. Xoxo
What if you abort the baby something happens with your lucrative contract work and you lose your job?
My dear the baby growing in you as you said is a miracle baby 🤱. Motherhood is the most beautiful gift God gives to women. You are fortunate what the doctors taught was impossible has been made possible. God is giving you this miracle child so you can encourage other women seeking for fruit of the womb. If you want to experience real love and bond it’s the miracle you carrying. You and your boyfriend can do something simple for kust few people. Traditional marriage and sign in court. You don’t need to feed the community to know you are married. Enjoy your baby n know that the future is unknown. Your hsrd work might make you renew your contract if you build good relationship with your bosses
My dear please remember sometimes miracles don’t feel like miracles.
Pls keep de baby,she or he might give you de miracle you never expected
Keeping the baby makes more sense than all your other thoughts. So keep the baby for more miracles. Support your boyfriend to achieve his plans, don’t think of elaborate wedding.
The verdict is clear. Keep the baby, stop your boyfriend from organising any wedding. Let him go and do the knocking ceremony. After you give birth, then you two can plan a good wedding at your own pace. Have you considered that you may take the job after terminating the pregnancy and still the company will say you are not a good fit and lay you off after 6 months? You can keep the pregnancy and still be graciously maintained after the six months. Both are not garanteeded but both are possible. It’s like the cenario of the train about to derang question given in the ethics classes. Its better to keep moving on the track than sidestep the inevitable of having a baby.