It was my friend James who came to me one day bragging about his girlfriend. “Jane, you should meet her. She is beautiful and her personality is like sunshine. You will love her,” he whined. Okay, he did not actually whine. It’s just that seeing James in love made him look like a whiny teenage boy in my eyes. I teased him about giving his heart away to a woman who would probably break it for him. He laughed knowing that underneath all my jokes and banter, I was happy for him. Truly, I was happy he had met someone who made him all giddy and happy.
When we were planning one of our hangouts we agreed that he would bring his girlfriend along so I get to meet her. I didn’t have female friends at the time. I had step sisters but we were never close. They made sure I never forgot that we were not related by blood. Because of this I never felt or experienced the bond of sisterhood. So I didn’t know what to expect the day I was supposed to meet James’ girlfriend. “Will we stare awkwardly at each other till we part ways?” I wondered.
When James showed up hand in hand with her, I was awed. My first thought was, “Wow, she is beautiful. No wonder my friend is losing his head over her.” I fell in love with her instantly. When we started to talk, I found myself imagining us as besties. I thought about all the adventures we would embark on together. The icing on the cake was, we came from the same tribe. It was no surprise that Ako and I became attached to the hip from that first encounter.
Experiencing her as a friend was nothing short of amazing. We went places together, planned activities together, went shopping together, and did everything else that two friends could do together. Our friendship was so solid that even when her relationship with James ended, ours continued.
She would go somewhere and return with a gift in hand saying, “I saw this and couldn’t think of anyone else better suited to wear it than you.” I also bought her things I knew she would like. This was an essential part of our friendship. When I was down, she lifted me up. When I thought something was too difficult for me to do, she believed in me and made sure I never gave up. I too was her biggest cheerleader. She became the sister that I never had. We were so right for each other.
After national service, she moved to a bigger city for work. I remained in our town after I also got a job. We were both adapting to the changes life was bringing our way so we didn’t keep in touch as often as we used to. However, we were still great friends. We spoke freely and honestly whenever we talked. Had it not been for the responsibilities of adulthood and the constraints of distance, nothing would have changed between us.
One day we were chatting when she asked me, “These days you don’t attend weddings anymore. What’s going on?” I told her, “Girl, I am tired of weddings. I have this that I would only attend weddings if the person is a close friend or a relative.” She reminded me of all the times we served as bridesmaids. The two of us had served together as bridesmaids in two different weddings. Individually, we were each bridesmaids in three separate weddings. “We had fun. Didn’t we?” She probed.
I thought about it for a while and responded, “Girl, my days of being a bridesmaid are way behind me.” We talked briefly about how stressful the experiences were. “So you won’t do it for me when I am getting married?” I laughed and jokingly said, “Only if you pay me.” We talked more about it and I told her, “Okay I will do it for you but that’s only for the traditional wedding. When it comes to the church wedding, I won’t be part.” She was understanding. “Maybe if we had slept in fancy hotels and experienced some luxury, you would enjoyed being a bridesmaid,” she concluded. She told me she was okay with whatever my decision was.
An hour after our conversation, I sent her a text that read, “Ako, you are my sister. I can’t say I won’t be your bridesmaid for the white wedding as well. It’s you we are talking about. If you want me to be your bridesmaid for both ceremonies, I am down.” She said okay.
We were still good, or so I thought, only for me to wake up one morning to see an invitation to Ako’s wedding. She didn’t greet me or ask how I had been doing. She just sent the wedding invite. I checked the date and realized the wedding was two weeks away. Do you know what that means? My best friend was getting married but I was not part of the wedding planning. I didn’t even know about it until I received the invite.
While I felt shocked and hurt about the whole thing, I tried not to let it get to me. After all it’s her wedding, if she didn’t want me to be a part of it, that’s fine. When the date arrived, I showed up. It was a beautiful ceremony. I wished her well and gave her the gift I bought for her.
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I expected us to talk about everything later but that never happened. On my birthday, I didn’t hear a peep from her. Regardless, I sent her a message on hers. Sometimes, she blocks me from viewing her WhatsApp status, and other times she unblocks me. I know this because my boyfriend has her number so he sees her posts.
These days we don’t talk anymore. I have deleted her number because there was no point in keeping it. One thing I wish I would ask her is, why didn’t she include me in her bridal team. If she felt offended by the conversation we had about weddings, she should have told me. I would have apologized and we would have moved past it. The fact that she used it as an opportunity to cut me off hurts me. Despite everything that has happened, I wish her all the happiness in the world. I hope she knows I truly loved her like a sister.
—Jane
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Oh sorry but my dear everything happens for a good reason. Cheer up . Someone better will come your way.