Usually, I go to work with Uber because it’s quite difficult to get public transport from my place to my workplace. Most of my rides are quiet. The ones that end up in conversations always end when the ride ends. This had always been my routine until one fateful day when things happened differently. That morning I couldn’t get a ride on Uber. The drivers either canceled or the wait time was too long. So I ordered a Bolt.

My ride came and the driver was a nice-looking guy. Initially, we were both quiet until he asked me a question and we picked it up from there. It was basically a work-related conversation. He talked about the fact that he’s a graduate but he was finding it difficult to get a corporate job so he opted to work as a Bolt driver. We both found the conversation engaging so before we got to my destination, we exchanged contacts.

Later, I came to an agreement with him so he would pick me up every morning for work. He lived close to me so it wasn’t a lot of stress for him. It was during these rides that we started talking about our personal lives. I got to know he had a woman and I also opened up to him that I have been single for a long time.

He smiled and said, “What if I introduce you to my single friend? His name is Kofi. You two will like each other.” I didn’t know this Kofi guy but the way he spoke about him made me like him. I was eager to meet him.

Although we talked about it, he did not introduce us. I also didn’t pressure him into it. One day I was having a bad hair day. I was a mess but I didn’t have time to deal with my hair so I left the house like that. That was the day we ran into Kofi. I was a bit shy that the universe chose that day of all days to bring align Kofi’s path with mine.

Our friend seized the moment to introduce us and Kofi took my number. I remember how I couldn’t stop smiling all day at work because of Kofi. I liked him instantly. Maybe it was because of his physique.

An entire week passed but Kofi did not call. I was disappointed. When I got tired of waiting for him, I concluded that he probably was not interested in me. So I decided to put him out of my mind and continue my search for love elsewhere.

I was at home one afternoon when an unknown number called me. “Hello, this Kofi,” the voice on the other side announced. You can imagine the smile on my face that day. My mood that day was all sunshine.

Kofi and I became inseparable from that day. We were always chatting or calling each other. At one point, I made it so obvious that I loved him. It was easily noticeable. However, I didn’t know how he felt about me. I only knew that he called me frequently.

We did the friendship thing for about a year. I would go to his house and he would come to my place. His parents knew me as his friend although he hadn’t introduced me to them.

I have a good job. I also run a business on the side I am financially sufficient. I am able to cater for most of my needs. This hasn’t stopped him from providing for me financially. Even when I don’t ask him to do it, he does it. And when I am in a bind and need his help, he comes through for me.

We started sleeping together after a year of being friends and it’s been two years now. We do everything as couples do but my only worry is that he hasn’t proposed love to me yet. I have asked him on countless occasions, “Kofi, what are we? When are you going to ask me to be your girlfriend?” He never tells me anything reasonable.

One time he told me to give him some time to figure things out. Several months later I realized we were still on the same page.

“Do you know what we are doing is friends with benefits?”

He assured me that it was not the case. “You mean so much more to me than this friends-with-benefits thing you are talking about. Trust me, I like you.”

“So why won’t you make what we have official? Why am I always wondering what it is I mean to you?”

“I just have concerns about committing myself to a relationship because of my past experiences. I need some time to work on it.”

His commitment issues aside, Kofi is a good person. He’s emotionally and physically present in everything I do. He’s been my support system this whole two years we’ve known together. He knows me like an open book.

We talk every morning and evening before we sleep. We share ideas. We discuss our bad and good days. We follow each other on all social media platforms. Everything about us spells out “C-o-u-p-l-e”. So I don’t understand why he is finding it hard to commit to me.

READ ALSO: I Can’t Be A Good Husband Because I Live With My Parents

I want to be patient with him till he is ready but I am worried. What if he meets someone else and decides he wants to be with that person? He wouldn’t be doing wrong because I am not officially his girlfriend. I have voiced my concerns to him several times but he still hasn’t proposed to me.

In November last year, I had a deep conversation with him about our situationship. I told him, “Come 2024, I will not continue this unofficial arrangement we seem to have. If you can’t make me your girlfriend then we can’t have sex anymore. I want to move on.” He listened intently but did not say much about the situation.

What Would You Do Differently For Them?

Now, I have reduced the rate at which I call him. I am taking steps to get over him. But he’s still around being his usual self. Being caring and calling me every other day. I keep asking myself, “What if I don’t meet someone as good as him? What if I am making a hasty decision?” I know some of you would think he has someone else but I can boldly say he is as single as the number one.

All his actions show he cares about me. All I need is for him to make things official. How do I get him to do that?

–Kitty

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