She accidentally farted in my presence and behaved like the sound of the fart should make the foundation of our relationship tremble. I will explain.

We’ve been together for a while. We’ve spent nights together. We’ve spent many days together as a couple. We talk about everything and make silly jokes. The only thing that hadn’t happened was us farting in front of each other.

I visited her place and was telling me a story. I had divided attention but I was doing so much for her to know I was paying attention. I would do hmmm and arrrh and occasionally look at her face and laugh while concentrating on what I was doing. She made a statement and tried to laugh. The laughter came with a loud fart.

I heard the sound but my mind wasn’t fully there. If she didn’t draw my attention to it, I wouldn’t have associated the sound with a fart. She screamed, “Oh my God! I can’t believe this. What just happened?”

She quickly dashed into the bedroom and locked it. She screamed, “I don’t want to see you. Don’t come here.” I screamed back,”Because you farted?” She retorted, “Stop saying that. You’re embarrassing me.” I burst out laughing.

She stayed in the bedroom for a long while. She had rice on fire. It was burning but she didn’t come out to check. Her embarrassment got me laughing uncontrollably.  A while later she asked me, “Do you still find me attractive?”

I pleaded with her to come out. She came but she couldn’t look at my face. I told her, “But this is not the first time you’re doing this? I’ve heard you fart out loud in the night when we were sleeping. Not once. So why are you bothered?”

She got up and went inside again. She screamed, “You’re mean. Why didn’t you tell me? I won’t sleep next to you again. Don’t even touch me again.”

It’s just a fart. A natural thing. I don’t get it. I was like, “What else are you hiding from me? You farted. I’ve been expecting it. Do you mean you were never going to do it? So I’m asking, is this something to be embarrassed about? It was not even intentional. Should this affect the attraction that exists between us? Honestly, it was loud but…

–Jed

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