I used to be a wild girl when we were dating. I mean girl-on-top kind of wild girl. I was the one to initiate intimacy. I was the one in control. I liked to take my boyfriend as the prisoner.. Very expressive in bed until I met this man who later became my husband.

When I became very comfortable with him, I decided to show him some moves. I asked him to relax while I took charge of the whole process. I saw him quiver. He moaned like a boy in pain except his’ was for ecstasy. After everything, I expected him to say thank you or something like, “You rocked my world.” He was panting. He said, “Which of your ex-boyfriends taught all these styles? It didn’t end there. He said, “If you continue doing this, you’ll scare me oo.”

So I stopped. I dimmed my light so he wouldn’t go blind. I stopped initiating. I stopped being in charge. If he hadn’t asked for it, I wouldn’t give to him. I became the girl who was always beneath his body.

We got married not too long afterwards and we’ve been married for two years. He has started complaining about me being boring. He said I don’t contribute to make the journey exciting. He has called me a log before. He shouted, “You’re not a dead body. Do something.”

My Heart Was Broken All Over Again | Abena On The Hot Seat

When I went into my shell, I didn’t come back. Now I want to make him happy again but I don’t know where to start from. I don’t know how to start so he wouldn’t ask where I learned it from. Knowing who he is and how his mind runs wild, he may think I’m even cheating on him. If he asks me where I learned from instead of saying thank you, I’ll be hurt. If he thinks of me as a whore, it will break my spirit. Where do I go from here to revive our bedroom without being questioned or suspected?

—Monica

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