My boyfriend is an Ewe while I’m an Akan. Ever since I was a child, my parents have drilled it into our heads that our two tribes do not mingle. “The furthest you can go is to be friends with them. But don’t go and fall in love with one because our family will not allow a marriage between us and them,” they warned.

Although we were too young to obsess over marriage, we listened to warnings and steered off Ewes when it came to romantic relationships. We knew our family wouldn’t bless us should we want to marry one why even go there in the first place?

Anyway, I thought my siblings and I were all on the same page until my eldest sister came home one day with a man from this very tribe we were warned not to marry. My parents didn’t make a fuss about it because they didn’t she was serious about their relationship. It didn’t occur to them that she would choose her own path whether or not it conformed to the family’s expectations.

It wasn’t until my sister finally introduced Edem as the man she wanted to marry that they became concerned. They tried to talk her out of it but she wouldn’t hear any of it. “He is a good man. And I know that if I marry him I will be very happy. That’s all that matters to me,” she insisted. My parents refused to budge but she was calm about it. Every time the topic came up, she would softly speak to their hearts. “You’ve met him. If he was a bad person, you would know by now,” she’d argue.

We all held our breaths as they went on with their back and forth. We were so sure that my parents wouldn’t bend. But we secretly bet on the fact that love would win. And we all rejoiced when my parents gave my sister and Edem their blessings for the marriage to happen.

After my sister’s marriage, my parents told me and my other siblings, “Just because we made an exception for your sister doesn’t mean the rule against us marrying them doesn’t hold anymore. None of you should follow in her footsteps. It started with your sister but it ends with her as well.” Like the good children that we were, we eagerly agreed to do as asked.

I tried to point my heart in the direction it should go. If I met an Ewe man who tried to get my attention, I would think; “You are a nice guy but even if I get to know you and fall in love with you, it won’t go anywhere.” I opened my heart to men from all other tribes except that one particular one. Then came Seyram. I didn’t see him coming until he swept me off my feet.

I tried to talk myself out of loving him but it didn’t work. After all is said and done, the heart wants what it wants. I tried to stand firm but here I am, madly in love with a man from the Ewe tribe. He loves me just as much. He would go to the ends of the earth for me if I asked him to. That’s the kind of devotion we have for each other. He wants us to get married before August next year, and I am ready.

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Sadly, my dad passed away. It’s just left with my mum now so she is the one I introduced him to. I expected her to object to it the way she did to my sister but she surprised me. Even when I told her about the tribe he comes she didn’t raise an eyebrow. She welcomed him with open arms. When we discussed our marriage plans with her, she was overjoyed.

She assured us, “Don’t worry. Whatever happens, I will back you fully. This marriage will happen.” My emotions were a cocktail of relief, happiness, and anxiety. I was anxious because I knew we would face some friction with my external family although my mother had given her approval. I just hoped we would get through them eventually.

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Now, here is the problem. My mother had a dream recently. She said, “In the dream, I saw that my side of the family was against your marriage. It was revealed to me that your sister’s inability to bear children three years after her marriage was because they didn’t like her marriage. And your father died because he accepted the marriage. If this dream is a revelation then we should take a step back. Who knows what will happen if we go ahead with yours?”

Now I know God reveals to redeem. If anything about my mother’s dream is true, then something bad could happen if we push through with the marriage. I know that God showed this to my mother so that we can prevent anything bad from happening. The question is, how do I do this without losing my man? I love him so much. I don’t want to lose him but the thought of getting married and having fertility issues caused by bad spirits is scaring me. What should I do? Should I let love win in my case like it did in my sister’s case? Or I should heed my mother’s dreams and take a step back?”

—Serwaa

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