I used to live in the same house with my mother, my sisters, and my sisters’ children. My eldest sister was also living with us with her children although she was married. Things were not going well for them financially so the family pitched in to support them. The way we lived, you wouldn’t know which child belonged to whom. That’s how close-knit we were.
Outsiders saw the love we shared for each other and wished they lived with us. Everybody took care of everybody. When it was time for two of my eldest sister’s children to start their tertiary education, it became a problem. My sister and her husband couldn’t afford the fees so they almost let their children’s education end at the high school level. But my other sisters, my mother, and I refused to let this happen.
We all pooled our resources together and sent these children back to school. My sisters’ and I paid their school fees till they both completed school. My mother also fed them when they were at home and bought them groceries and other stuff they would need for school when they had to go to school. It was a family affair. All hands were on deck because we knew these children belonged to us and it was our duty to give them a better future.
The entire time we were taking care of them, everyone seemed happy. There were no complaints or problems whatsoever. It was after they completed school that things began to change. My sister’s son couldn’t get a job so he was at home doing nothing with his life. His sister, on the other hand, got married a few months after she completed her national service. I don’t know if it is marriage that changed her or if it only gave her the confidence to reveal her true colours.
This girl became very loud and disrespectful. Every time she spoke to any of us, it was as if we were beneath her. You see the way the madam of the house would order her maid around, that was how she started talking to us. When we tried to correct her, she accused my mother of witchcraft.
While she was putting us through all this drama, her brother was sitting at home unemployed. For five whole years, this boy wasn’t earning money. We were feeding him and providing for all his needs as we would a child. Nobody complained. We just did what we could for him. I believe my mother did so well for all of us who were living in the house. At her age, she would starve herself if it meant we would get to eat the last food in the house.
Six years after he completed school, somebody contacted me and said he was a guarantor for my nephew. “Guarantor for what?” I asked. “He applied for a student loan and I guaranteed it for him. But he hasn’t made any payments after all these years,” the man responded. I was confused. To the best of my knowledge, this boy lacked nothing. We paid his school fees and provided his needs. So what did he use the loan for? We asked but he couldn’t tell us anything reasonable.
After all that, we still didn’t turn our backs on him. Then this boy got a teaching job in the public sector. That was when he also showed us his true colours. He cut me and my mother off as if we didn’t mean anything to him. He also started saying that my mother was a witch.
If these things weren’t happening right under my nose I wouldn’t believe it. How can you call a woman you lived with right from childhood till you started working a witch? All those times she was taking care of you and sacrificing her food for you she wasn’t a witch. It is only when you didn’t need her care anymore that she became a witch? Your own grandmother?
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The most painful part about all this is that they didn’t keep their accusations to themselves. They said it to everybody around us. I would run into someone in town and they would ask me, “Why are your children going about calling their grandma a witch? What’s going on?” I usually just shrugged and said nothing.
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Recently, my wife told me, “Your niece said your mother is a witch so I shouldn’t give her money anymore. What happened to the love you had for each other as a family?” That was the point where I realized that these children started spreading these false rumors so that they wouldn’t have to help those who have helped them. What else can be the reason?
Now, they do not call or pay anybody a visit except their mother. They want nothing to do with my mother, my other sisters, and me. However, they call my wife regularly and visit her when I am not around. They may not know what they are doing but their actions can bring division to the family. If you were in my shoes, how would you handle this situation? I need all the advice I can get to fix this problem before it destroys our family.
—Kwadjo
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Halfway through and I bore already. This level of ungratefulness is unheard of! Now they are trying to destroy the old lady in the eyes of the world? Bro, cut them off with immediate effect and warn your wife to desist from entertaining them. I am sure the only reason they are close to her is because they think they can get something from her. Never regret them showing you their true colors now. They would have chopped from you and your wife and showed you real pepper if you or your kids ever needed their help. Good riddance to bad rubbish!
So annoying! So where’s your elder sister, their mother in all this? If she can’t call them to order and they still have the audacity to visit her in the old lady’s house to the exclusion of everyone else then she is the chief architect. You guys have been too soft for too long. Convince your mother to give you the rights to the house. Then throw your elder sister out of the house so her children can look for accommodation and fend for her themselves. Warn your wife sternly to keep away from them and block them. They don’t deserve you and you don’t need their trouble. Believe me when I say, all of us have such ingrates and devils in our families. Drive the devils out!
Some people are naturally ungrateful and it hurts. Just cut them off and protect your mum and wife…
You ever heard the phrase let go and let God? In this instance it may seem silly to some people but that is the best weapon. God will fight that battle and these children will regret without you saying a word.
I agree with CKgirl, sometimes when we are hurt badly by people we sacrifice or truelly showed love, we may be tempted to seek revenge or go on a PR tour to cleanse our image. But just respond when people tell you what these ingrate chikdren are saying with something like ”a grandmother who built a house full of love has lost her principles in old age?”. The good old judge knows all.
You’ve done well as a family. Don’t let it slide
Call an emergency meeting with your whole family including uncles, aunties and ebusuapayin with the children and their parents
Ask them about the rumour and a stern warning should be given to them
Else your mom may get bitter towards them and it’ll affect the whole family
Resolve the issue fast and pray against every seed of discord being sown in the family