I used to talk to her friend, Serwaa. Serwaa was not a love interest. It was just friendship. The kind of friendship that had us talking on the phone for long hours. We talked about everything, but it was mostly about Serwaa. She would call and say, “Guess what happened?” I never had to guess because she told me anyway.

One of the things that made it obvious that I was talking to Serwaa was the abundance of laughter that flowed between us. We laughed as though, the burdens of this life were strangers to us. If loud untamed laughter could quench fires, ours would. That’s the kind of energy that got Grace curious about us.

Every time I was on the phone with Serwaa, I would hear her soft voice asking, “Who is this person you’ve been talking to these days? He takes all your time and you two are always laughing.” Serwaa would laugh and say, “He is a friend but you haven’t met him yet. He is very funny, do you want to say hello?” She always said no, but one day she said yes.

The first day I spoke to her, I knew that I wanted to be with her. We hadn’t met yet but it just felt right with her. Things even got more interesting when we realized we belonged to the same denomination.

Soon enough, I was no longer talking to Serwaa as often as I used to. Grace became the object of my attention. She was the first person on my mind when I gained consciousness in the morning. And she was the last person I spoke to before I went to bed. Nobody said anything to the other person but we knew that we were in the talking stage.

As time passed, things became more intense. I was working up the courage to officially propose love to her. The words were always at the tip of my tongue but every time we spoke, a little voice told me; “Wait, this is not the right time.” I kept waiting for the right time but there was never a right time.

So one day I decided that come rain or shine, I would let Grace know that she had wormed her way into my heart and now she was queen of my heart. That was the day she told me, “I think we should take a break from this thing that we are doing.” I was confused, “Why? What did I do wrong?” She answered, “It’s not you. It’s me.” What did I do to deserve this classic breakup line?

I kept asking her questions before she finally told me, “I can’t love any man because of the bad relationship I have with my father.” The fact that her daddy issues made her dislike men did not quench my love for her. Rather, I chose to teach her how to love her father. If she got to a place where she was at peace with her father, then she would be open to accept my love and love me back. That’s what I thought.

I tried my best to talk her into giving us a try but she refused. She insisted on taking time away from me. That’s what she needed so I let her go. However, I couldn’t move on. I stood in the shadows pining for her and hoping she would return to me. And when she did, I gladly welcomed her back into my life.

Our love grew beautifully. In no time, we were as thick as thieves. I introduced her to the people who mattered to me; my mother, and some of my closest friends. We didn’t make any move for her to introduce us to her family, because I thought that was something we had to do if we were preparing for marriage. Unfortunately, they did not see it like that. So it became a problem.

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Grace assured me that her dad knew about me, but later, her father denied ever hearing about me. I found this out when I made a phone call with her dad last year. It was immediately after Grace had left Ghana to the UK to further her education. She gave her father’s number to me so I would build a relationship with him, for our future sake.

Little did I know that that phone call would end our relationship. She told me, “My father and my aunt are not happy that you didn’t introduce yourself to them when we were dating. So they are putting pressure on me to leave you. I have tried to convince them that you are what I want but they won’t hear of it. I also can’t stand their warnings any longer. So please, move on.”

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How can I move on when my heart calls her name in my sleep and in my waking moments. A year has passed but my feelings remain unchanged toward her. It doesn’t matter what anyone says, she is the love of my life.

I feel like I have been thrown into a pit I cannot come out of. They say love is patient. Should I keep patiently waiting at the door of her heart? Maybe when she sees that I am not going anywhere, she will fight for me as much as I am fighting for her.

—Kay

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