We were friends for a very long time but we never met. She knew I was in Dansoman and I also knew she lived in Ablekuma. That was it. We exchanged photos and even had a video chat on some nights. I called her beautiful and she said I was a nice guy. The day I proposed to her, she bounced me flat. I asked why and she told me she had someone in her life.

We didn’t stop talking until one day she called to tell me she was in my neighbourhood for a wedding. I jovially said, “Then why don’t you come around for dinner after the wedding?” She took me seriously and asked what I had in my house. I asked if she was coming and she asked me to send her the location.

She came at around 9 pm. I took her to a nearby restaurant and we ate and drank to our fill. At around 11 pm, she told me she had to go. Again I asked, “At this time? I have a big place. You can sleep over and leave tomorrow. After all, tomorrow is Sunday and you won’t have to go to work.”

A few minutes later we were at my place. She was a little bit tipsy and I knew tipsiness makes a way where there seems to be no way so once we settled, we started. I started exploring possibilities. She got the message and acted along. Everything was going on fine until he dipped his hand into my boxers. She quickly removed her hand and smiled. She said, “Let me sleep. We will continue in the morning.”

I begged. I made promises. I chipped a piece of the moon for her just so we could continue. She didn’t allow me. Early in the morning, when I woke up, she was already dressed up and was about to go. “Ah, but what happened to the promise?” She only smiled and told me next time.

When she walked out of my door, that was it. She didn’t answer my calls and my text messages. The next thing I saw on her WhatsApp status was, “It’s always the people with tiny phrases who rushed into long conversations.” It didn’t sound like my shade until it all started coming back to me. “Everything was going well until she touched my ‘phrase’ right? That’s my shade for sure.”

I called with another line and she picked up. I said, “Why are you avoiding me? Did I do anything wrong?”

“No, you didn’t do anything wrong.”

“So why?”

“I just don’t want to prolong things. Let’s just forget.”

“Then why did you start only to stop midway? Everything was going well. What happened?”

Who Would You Choose, A Rich Man Or A Man Who’s Good In Bed?

“What do you have in between your thighs, a coma or a full stop? Please let it grow up. And Sorry we got that far but that’s not for me.”

So the shade was mine. All my life, I knew I was small but I didn’t know I was a little phrase. She left and left with my self-confidence. So Bill, yours is better. At least, you were able to see Canaan and were able to step there.  I saw Canaan but wasn’t allowed to go there because of my little ‘phrase.’ Women…

—Kessie

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