I am the child of two teachers. This means that I have been taught lessons in and outside the classroom. They taught me how to go after my dreams and achieve whatever I want in life. They also taught me to be a decent human being at all times. So I grew up making a conscious effort to be kind to people at all times.

Hence, I value humanity. This trait is what made me pursue a career in healthcare. Although I made it look like it was easy to achieve my dreams, it was not. I had to stay true to myself and focus on the journey I was embarking on. I did not allow room for distractions. As a young man, the temptation to indulge in the kind of lifestyle my peers engaged in was strong. The life of partying, womanizing, and following fashion trends looked appealing. But I knew where I came from and where I wanted to be. So I shut my mind to everything and just focused on my goals.

When I finally started working, I was assigned to only night shifts. I am a night owl so it worked perfectly for me. I would go to work at night, and spend my day eating, watching television, and sleeping. I did not have much of a social life but I had a peaceful life. I enjoyed it. My mother, on the other hand, didn’t.

She told me, “You are a man. It’s not a good look for you to be at home doing nothing productive during the day. So try and find a side job to occupy you when you are not at work.” I thought about it and told her, “I don’t want to do anything stressful. I wouldn’t want to show up at my night job tired and not sharp.” She suggested that I apply to teach at a private school near our house. “You will make a positive impact on the lives of the younger generation,” she pushed. How could I say no to that?

I applied for the job and got it. At the school, I met a lady I never really spoke to. She was just someone I used to see around. I worked in the school on Wednesdays and Fridays. Those were the times I had contact with her.

One day I heard rumours that the lady had broken up with her boyfriend. And it was the guy who bought her phone for her so he took it from her. He then used her WhatsApp account to send messages to her contacts. He told everyone that the lady had an infectious disease. He said all sorts of false things about her. When I received one of those messages, I became concerned.

I didn’t even know it was the lady’s number until my colleagues told me. I tried to get the person who sent me the message to chat with me but I didn’t get any response. When I didn’t get a response, I let the matter go.

Later we met for a meeting and this lady was present. By then she had bought a new phone and was using her WhatsApp again. Some of our colleagues told her I was concerned about her situation and wanted to help her out. She didn’t say anything to me at that time. Rather, she took my number from one of them and called me later.

From that day up to now, this lady has been all over me. She chats with me every day. She would wake up in the morning and send a text. Throughout the day she would send me random stuff. I felt she was going through a lot so I tried to be there for her. I had no amorous interest in her. All I wanted was for her to know that someone cared about her. I even took her out so she would take her mind off her heartache.

My intention was to help her heal completely. One of the things that often came up in our conversations was her fears. She would ask me, “What if he was right? Maybe he has a disease that he has infected me with.” When all my attempts to calm her down  failed, I suggested; “If you are so concerned about it, then let us go to the hospital.”

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We ran all the tests there were to run, and they all came out negative. It was only then, that her mind was put at ease. After this, I thought she would loosen up her grip on me. But it has only gotten worse. This lady has fallen head-over-heels in love with me.

I never proposed to her or confessed my love for her but she gave herself to me freely for us to have shuperu. Honestly, I allowed it to happen because I felt if we did it, I would develop feelings for her. If it happened that way, I would reciprocate the love she has for me. However, this has not been the case.

I Told Him To Go Ahead And Do It


I have tried but I don’t feel anything for her. I even sat her down and told her, “I have tried to reciprocate your love but it’s not working. Please, I don’t want to waste your time. So try and move on.” She says she understands me but nothing she does shows that she accepts my answer. She still calls, texts, and goes out of her way to be near me. I can’t even avoid her because we work at the same place.

I also don’t want to treat her badly just because she loves me and I don’t love her back. I don’t know how to make it clear to her that we cannot happen without hurting her feelings. I feel I brought this upon myself by being nice to her right from the moment I heard about her relationship drama. She must have mistaken my kindness for love. Everything I did for her, I would have done for anyone else. That’s just how I was raised. Now, I am in an uncomfortable position and I don’t see a peaceful way out. What should I do? What’s the best way to handle this?

—Anthony

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