After my marriage fell apart, I decided to stay single and do my best to raise our daughter. Because I was the one who got custody of the child, my ex-husband left me to bear full responsibility for the child. When it comes to feeding, clothes, school fees, school uniforms, books, and all other needs she has, I take care of it all. This man hasn’t even contributed a dime as child support since the divorce.
I have been the only parent in my little girl’s life. This hasn’t afforded me a lot of time to have a social life. All I do is work and be a mother. I haven’t had time to date. And until recently, I hadn’t had shuperu in so many years. My girl is now seven years old and is growing beautifully.
Somewhere last month, my sexual frustration got the better of me and I ended up having a one-night stand. It wasn’t with a random stranger. He wasn’t a close friend either. He is just someone I know. It was meant to happen once and never again. We both agreed on this. I had an itch, and he helped me scratch it. That’s all.
We were not even supposed to stay in touch after the whole thing, so we didn’t. I thought I could easily move on from that event but something has happened. I missed my period this month. That was when it dawned on me that we didn’t use protection when we did it. I have also been single for so long that I am not on any contraceptives. He didn’t also pull out. And it did not cross my mind to take the morning-after pill. The moment the realization hit me, I knew I was screwed.
Truly, I took a test and it confirmed that I am pregnant. I even went to the hospital to take another test, and the result remained positive. I have been thinking about what to do since I found out. At first, I considered getting rid of it. But my conscience scolded me for entertaining that thought in the first place. I mean, this is a human being we are talking about. My own child for that matter. How can I conceive murder against it?
If getting rid of it is not something I can do, then the only other option is to keep it. It was at this point that I decided to tell the guy responsible about it. Initially, I planned to go see him but I didn’t have the courage to face him. I imagined how he would react and it made me anxious, nervous, and scared. So I sent him a simple text; “I am pregnant. I was careless. Sorry.”
Just as I feared, he called me immediately after he got my message. He didn’t even say hello. He just started shouting, “How did this happen? How could you be so careless?” I apologized, “I am sorry this has happened. I haven’t been with anyone in so long that I forgot about contraceptives. Please, forgive me for bringing this upon us.” Then I told him about my decision to keep it. “You must be joking,” he retorted, “You better reconsider that decision. I am not ready to be a father so know that I will have no part of this pregnancy if you don’t do what needs to be done.”
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I have thought about this a million times. It is the only thing I think about every day. I know that I don’t want to get an abortion. However, I am already doing the whole single mother thing and it has not been easy. My finances, time, emotions, and mental stability are already on shaky grounds because I am raising one child alone. How will I function if I add another one to it? Will the children get everything they need from a parent when I am not in the position to give it to them?
I Told Him To Go Ahead And Do It
This is a whole human being we are talking about. It is a lot of responsibility to bear. The thought of it is killing me. All I wanted to do was to satisfy a sexual need. Now, look at me. I got the satisfaction alright but now I am about to have a baby daddy who wants nothing to do with the child. How can I face this? A part of me even refuses to accept the situation. It’s like I am having a bad dream someone will soon wake me from.
Am I making the right choice to keep this baby? Especially, considering that it was conceived out of a one-night stand. The pregnancy is only a few weeks old. Is it really murder if I get rid of it at this stage? I need counsel. I need someone to pour my heart out to. Above all, I need guidance. I feel so lost right now.
—Anne Marie
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That might be your saviour. Hmm life
Don’t get rid of it. You have been able to take care of the elder one so you can do so with the help of God. Don’t make a decision you will regret forever. What if you end it and never return or it causes an irreversible damage? My dear don’t fret. Learn from this. Self control is very important. You did well with the first one so you can do better with the little one.
Nothing happens by chance. All these years you have been single and once day baam. I dont see why you had to apologise tho. He didn’t use protection, didnt withdraw and didnt talk about a morning after pill with you. And he goes ahead to blame you.have your child. he or she is yours. You daughter will have some1 to be with. She the joy of motherhood. Its not easy. But you will be fine. Your heart says keep it..keep it.
Hmmm. Times are tough!!. Do you see yourself going through what you been through already??. He cassette has been rewinded and started playing again!!!. Do you want to dance to the same tune with, all the wahala again?,. Emotionally, are you ready??. Be rational to yourself. Its going to be tiring, emotionally draining if you have do it alone again!!. You will need support which I don’t see coming from the sources we expect to be there for you. I understand your reluctance, but please take into consideration the pressure it will put on yourself I love kids but hmmmm………. my thoughts only please!!!
Ei, why would you like to take such an irreversible and heavy decision as to commit ‘murder’ when you don’t know tomorrow? Your circumstances could change tomorrow, who knows. You will live your life with hope in your heart, if you keep it and suffer through it, rather than with regret, occasional depression, what-might-have-beens, if you remove it.
We will only advice but the final decision is yours. From the comments majority said keep it but ask yourself how many will help you through the pregnancy alone. Consider what went through raising a child without a support
Abortion is a sin to the highest degree. Pls for the fear of God, keep it and ask for forgiveness, the table might turn this time
Why do you have to carry a load that has been created by two people. How can a man fail to use protection and leaves his seed in a woman and lay the blame on her? Get the social welfare involved and get them to compell your baby daddies to live up to their responsibility. Do it for your children.