He Said He Will Let Go Of His Other Women And Marry Me

Pastor Mike was close to my mum before she died. He was the caretaker of our house before we moved my mum to Accra when her illness got worse. He has a younger pastor who is his spiritual son. His name is pastor Patrick. I had heard about Patrick but I only got to meet him for the first time when my mum succumbed to her illness and we were making preparations for her funeral. The second time he came to our house, I made jokes that I would marry him. Everyone present laughed; me, my sister, and pastor Mike.

There was a time when we needed him to help fix something in the house for us. It had to do with what he does for a living. So I took his number from pastor Mike and called him. He promised to come but he never showed up. We needed the thing fixed so I called him again the next day. “I am sorry I couldn’t show up yesterday,” he apologized, “I am currently working somewhere but I will pass by your house before I go home.”

When he finally came, I was in the kitchen cooking. So I served him and pastor Mike and they ate together. We met once again before I finally left for Accra when the funeral was over.

When I got to Accra, he called to check up on me and we spoke at length. I noticed that anytime he called, he wanted to talk to me for several hours. I don’t enjoy long conversations with someone I’m not dating, so I always found a way to cut our conversations short.

“Tell me more about yourself. I want to know more about you,” he said this every day he called me. So one day I decided to let him in. We spoke till dawn. He also revealed a lot about himself, especially his past failed relationships. The conversation didn’t end there. We lived in different regions but we communicated every day. We talked on the phone for several hours, even when I was at work.

My colleagues started teasing me, “Sitso, you’ve found love. This is what new love looks like.” At that time Patrick hadn’t said anything to me about love. He just told me that his last relationship ended in 2019. He said the breakup tore him apart so he decided to take a break from relationships.

I was also not ready to be with anyone, so I just relaxed and enjoyed our friendship. I was happy with him until he started showing interest in me. I turned him down without giving it a second thought. This guy was so not my type. I like my men slim and tall but Patrick is slim and short. He’s also not a learned person. I made it clear to him, “Things will not work between us. So find someone else.”

He refused to give up. He kept calling every day to check up on me. Sometimes he would send me airtime. Before I could catch myself, I fell in love with him. I accepted to be his girlfriend on the condition that we would have no shuperu until marriage.

Even though we lived far from each other, we found a way to make the relationship work. We talked on the phone every day. I trusted him because he never did anything for me to question his loyalty. Just call him at any time, he would pick-up and have time for you, even when it’s midnight. Sometimes he would call me at night to pray for me before we finally go to bed.

After a few months, we started planning that I would visit him in his region but something would come up and we’d have to cancel the trip. It continued for six months before I finally got the chance to go and see him. When I arrived, I stayed in our house and visited him every day. Sometimes I followed him to work. He is self-employed. We loved each other very much. I was convinced he was the one for me. So I decided to put my qualifications aside and marry him because he’s a good person.

He didn’t want me to leave. I also enjoyed every bit of my stay there. He’s such a nice and caring person. He knows how to treat a woman right. He didn’t allow me to do anything in his house. He’d cook and call me to eat. He doesn’t even allow me to wash the dishes.

After I left for Accra, our communication continued and we started talking about marriage. He started buying the items on the marriage list. After a few weeks, I visited him again and stayed for a week before going back. This time, he started demanding shuperu but I refused to do it and reminded him of our initial agreement.

He told me about how some of the ladies in his church have been throwing themselves at him. Sometimes I tell him it’s because he’s not married yet. Then in June this year, I paid him another visit. This time, I stayed there for a month. He started pressuring me for shuperu again. I ended up giving it to him. While I regretted it, he was happy it happened.

Shortly after that, Pastor Patrick started going out to town. Sometimes he’d tell me he was going to work somewhere or visit a church member. He would keep so long in town. Although his behaviour was suspicious, I trusted whatever he told me.

The day that I left his place back to Accra, we had a serious fight. He was so angry to the extent that he threw me out of his room. To say that I was shocked is an understatement. My lovely Patrick could go this far because he was angry? Wow! I left and went to my house. By the time I got to my house, he was already there on his knees begging me to forgive him and I told him that I held nothing against him before I finally set off.

It was when I returned to Accra that I got to see Pastor Patrick’s true colours. He’d talk to me anyhow, insult me, and disrespect me as if I were a nobody. Sometimes I get hurt to the extent that I cry myself to sleep. I never saw this coming. As if he hadn’t done enough, he stopped picking up my calls after 9:30 p.m. There were times that he would call back at 5 a.m. with so many excuses. “My phone was on silence because church members were worrying me with phone calls to pray for them. That’s why I didn’t see your call,” he would say.

I started suspecting that he had another woman in his region who came to spend the night with him but he kept on denying it. “You are the only woman in my life,” he insisted. I did not drag it with him.

One Friday after work, I attended a service at a church in my neighbourhood. After church, the pastor asked to see me because I was a newcomer. He told me so many things about my future and what God was about to do for me. Then he asked if I was married and I said no. He asked if I was in a relationship and I said yes. “Is he a pastor?” He asked. Again, I said yes. Then he smiled. He said there was more but he would pray fervently about it first.

On Sunday, I went back to the church. I went to see the pastor again after church. He told me, “I have a message I need you to deliver to your boyfriend for me.” It was a simple message, “Tell him to end his relationship with other women and ask God for forgiveness because at this point, God is losing His patience and His anger is rising upon him.” Honestly, I did not believe him. That’s because I trusted Patrick very much. I started regretting that I went to that church. I felt the pastor was a fake man of God.

Then I sat down and recalled his change of attitude ever since I returned to Accra, and how he used to go out and return at night when I was with him. That is when it dawned on me that this pastor might be right. So I called Patrick and delivered the pastor’s message to him. Come and see this guy defending himself. Shouting on top of his voice and all. I told him to forget I said anything but his attitude didn’t change.

I went to church again the next Sunday. A guest prophet was invited to preach. And after service, he decided to pray for all of us. When it got to my turn, he asked if I was married and I said no. Then he asked if I was in a relationship and I said yes. Then he laughed. He said, “The guy is not serious. Pray concerning your marriage.” After church, my other pastor told me to go and see the prophet and I went. The prophet told me that Patrick had another woman in his life and that they were planning to get married.

When I got home I called Patrick’s best friend and begged him to tell me the truth. “Is Patrick having another woman?” He was quiet on the phone for some time before he finally spoke. He confirmed what the prophet said. There was another woman in his life. She was there before I came. Patrick was torn between us. He wanted to marry me because he loves me. And also, he knows I will help his ministry. However, he is scared I would leave him because of the differences in our educational backgrounds. That’s why he is leaning toward the other woman. The only thing holding him back from marrying her is her lack of interest in ministry work. He said there was another woman but Patrick wasn’t considering her for marriage so she doesn’t matter.

At the end of our conversation, his best friend advised me to stay and fight for him to choose me. At this point, I was totally broken. I felt deceived and cheated. I called Patrick and broke up with him. He was not moved. He started disrespecting me again so I hung up. He tried to call me back but I refused to answer. He called my sister and my sister also didn’t answer. I told her what was going on.

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Patrick called his spiritual father and told him I’m leaving him but he loves me and wants to marry me. His spiritual father called and I narrated everything to him. He didn’t believe the story. He trusted his son so much and believed that I was the only woman in his life. I stood my ground but Patrick wouldn’t stop calling me.

I picked up his call one day and he begged me to forgive him and accept him back. I told him to go and marry the other girl. He said he had no other woman so my pastor is a liar. He asked to speak with the pastor and I said no. “If you really want to talk to him, go and meet him in the spirit. He’s a spiritual man like you.” I told him and hung up.

I’ve Thought About How To Blame God

Two days later, the pastor called to see me in his office. I went and he told me that my boyfriend came to him in his dream crying and begging him to apologize to me on his behalf so that I’ll come back to him. He loves me so he is ready to let the other woman go and marry me. The pastor pleaded with me to give him a second chance.
“He is human. Maybe a second chance is what he needs to change. The fact that he appeared in my dream means he is serious about you,” he said. I told him that I was scared he might go behind me even after marriage and be sleeping with the other ladies so I couldn’t give him a second chance.

Patrick is still lurking in the shadows, trying so hard to get my attention. I’m confused at this point and don’t know whether to go back to him or not.

What will you do in my situation? Advise me, please.