His dream is to become a famous rapper. I believe in him because he’s that good. Give him a line and he’ll turn it into a beautiful rap song. So every problem we encounter becomes a song. When we fight over food, it becomes a line in a song. The day he called and I didn’t pick up, the next day it became a song.

I’m the first to hear the new song. He’ll sit me down, play the table as drums and play the beat with his mouth and rap along. When it’s good, I tell him, “It’s a hit meeehn.” When it’s bad, I tell him, “I didn’t feel it.”

The farthest any song of his has song is the demo level. We tried a small promotion on our local FM station and he got a local hit. He was everywhere and was featured on a stage during the festival in our town. The radio station thought he had made it so they started asking for money before they played his song.

He doesn’t have any work he’s doing. His rap is his job. I pay for the demos he makes. I will buy him sneakers and buy him jeans when he gets a gig. I give him money for dropping because a local star shouldn’t be seen taking trotro. We’ve been on this for four years and still no breakthrough.

I said, “Please, let’s get a job for you. You can do this rap thing on the side.” He responded, “No I don’t want to lose focus. I’m getting there. All these big, big stars you see were once dust—underground artists. Do you know how long they had to do it? Don’t lose faith. We are getting there.”

We never get there and I’m tired of sponsoring his lifestyle. I’ve started withdrawing. When he gets a new song and he wants to sing to me, I pay him no ears. When he forces me to listen and I do, I tell him, “I didn’t feel it” even when the song is good. Anything to demotivate him from this rap life.

He has this stubborn motivation that makes it impossible to break him down. Because he doesn’t want to get a job, I also want to stop sponsoring him. We’ve been fighting. He’s getting aggressive about the fact that I’m pulling away. It’s beginning to feel like he’s with me because I’m the only one available to help.

I’ve Thought About How To Blame God

I want to leave the relationship. But what if he gets his breakthrough when I’m gone? This question is what is keeping me with him till today. I’ve invested a lot in him and don’t want to leave for someone else to come and enjoy but he doesn’t want to also do anything to support himself. What should I do?

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—Lydia

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