When the sex is bad my body responds by throwing itches on my skin. I will itch all over my body for hours before my skin would be free from the itches. I remember telling a doctor about it and he told me, “If that’s your problem, then you already know the remedy. Get good sex and you’re good to go.” But he looked into it for me and ran a series of tests. There was nothing wrong with me. It looks like my body’s natural way of telling me, “You didn’t get enough of that so go for more.

I’m a married woman so I shouldn’t have a problem with shuperu. When we were dating, I didn’t have that issue because the sex was good. It was a distant relationship so we could go for a month without seeing each other and that was ok. But once we met, it was fireworks. We paid for all the love we lost while living apart. My husband, then my boyfriend could do it as many times as he wanted and I wouldn’t complain because I wanted it.

We got married five months ago. We live together now but things are different. I would say we are still learning the rudiments of marriage and it’s healthy the way we do it. When there’s something we don’t understand, we talk about it and share ideas on it. If it’s a problem we have to solve, the two of us come together as a team and resolve it as fast as we can.

Sex has become a problem for some time now. It was not the absence of it that was causing the problem. It was rather the presence of sex that was the problem. Our sex life wasn’t satisfactory. He didn’t do it the way we used to do when we were dating. When we were single, we never had lousy sex but after marriage, my husband lost his mojo.

READ ALSO: I Fell In Love With The Man With Magic Fingers

Five to ten minutes and he’s done. That also wasn’t the problem because I’ve come to realize that it’s not the longevity that makes our spirits fly but the quality we put in the seconds.

My husband isn’t doing it for long and he’s not also putting quality time into it. A man’s first round is his downfall. Give him a second round and he rises up to the occasion so whenever the first is bad and I begin to itch, I put my hope in the second round. I stay awake and wait for him to get ready for the second but the second never happens.

Ever since we got married, I’ve never received a second hit. It started on our honeymoon. I lay in bed scratching my body all night while my husband lay sleeping and snoring feebly like a baby with catarrh.

This has gone on for over five months. Not once not twice. Every day after shuperu, I’m the one who itches for more. When it happens in the night, I would hardly get a good sleep. When it happens in the daytime, I would be restless. My world would itch into chaos. And the sad thing was, my husband wanted it every day. That meant I itched every day.

I spoke to him about it as humbly as every respectful wife would do. We address problems so I know the technique we use to address issues. I used the same technique and tone to get his attention; “Dear, I’m suffering and you know it. I’ve told you before but maybe you didn’t think it was serious. I’m suffering. I suffer each time we have sex. You see me tossing and turning in bed and might think I’m exaggerating. I’m not. Can we go back to how things used to be?”

He stared at me for several seconds before telling me, “But don’t you think it’s a medical condition? You’ve only sought the opinion of one doctor. Try another one. Maybe he would know better.”

We both concluded that I would see a doctor while he works on his game. It was a win-win discussion for both of us.

I didn’t sleep on it. The very next day I went to see a doctor. He also did some tests and gave me some drugs to work on the itch. He told me it was just my body’s reaction to a situation so I shouldn’t be worried about it.

I had done something so I was expecting him to also do his part of the deal but instead of going up, my husband chose to come down on his words. For two weeks we didn’t have shuperu. I was getting worried. It was unlike him to stay off me for that long so one night I tried to initiate but he shrugged his arms and pulled away from my grip.

“Ah, what’s happening? Is there any problem?”

“I’m tired. Just let me sleep.”

“You’ve been tired every day for two weeks? What’s happening in your office?”

“Allow me to sleep before you come and tell me I’ve given you itches.”

“Ah! Since when did this become a reason you stay off me? I’m not complaining.”

My husband turned his back on me and slept away as if I didn’t exist in the same room with him. We talked about it in the morning. He ran from the topic. He tried his best to escape the discussion. I put it to him. I was the lawyer. He was the defendant. I needed a resolution to it before a new day arrived. His final words were, “I give you itches to disturb your sleep. Are you not happy that I no longer try to make you itch?”

This was a week ago. He still hasn’t taken up his husband’s mantle. The last excuse he gave me was, “I’m working on myself. When I’m done, I will let you know.”

I don’t know the kind of work he’s doing on himself. I’ve never seen him swallow a pill or drink any herbal tea from a teacup.

To open your mouth to say I love you, Is kind of weird

Our marriage had been very peaceful before this discussion and it makes me regret ever talking about it. I should have let it be, maybe, while I work on my own self. Now he gets angry easily. He thinks everything is because of the itch. I currently want the itch than this behaviour he’s putting up.

Did I do or say anything wrong? What can I do to make things better? It’s a young marriage. We don’t deserve these rough patches this soon.   

SHARE | Help Others See It Too

—Samira

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at [email protected]. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******