I didn’t go there for a happy ending. For a very long time, I was experiencing body pains. Today would be my back and tomorrow my chest. I was hurting in places I didn’t even know existed so for a long time, I was thinking of getting a massage.

I saw the ad on Instagram and decided to call them. After asking a few questions, I was impressed with their professionalism so I decided to book. On that very day, I went there not having any expectations. They showed me a room and I entered. I was seated enjoying the ambience when a gentleman walked in.

He started giving me instructions; “You see the towels there, you’ll take off your clothes and cover yourself in the towel. I’ll leave the room. Once you’re done, tap on the door and I will come and start the work.”

I looked at him and he looked back at me. He asked, “Should I go over again?” I nodded sheepishly. I heard him the first time but I wanted to be sure if he was the one going to do the massage. After going over the instructions again, I asked him, “Are you the one going to do the massage?” He smiled and nodded, “Yes it’s me. You don’t like a guy to do it?”

I shook my head and said, “Oh no, it’s fine. I just wanted to be sure.”

I changed into the towel and tapped on the door. I was tense, to be honest with you but when he came in and started telling me what to do, I eased up. “When I touch where it hurts, please let me know. If at any moment you feel uncomfortable, kindly draw my attention. You’re in safe hands.”

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I lay face down and he started. The room was very dark with glowing scented candles. There was this music playing. The kind of music you don’t hear a voice but only beats. He touched my shoulder and my heart started racing in my chest.

His touches were innocent. You could read care and safety with every move he made but my mind was getting sexual. Maybe it was the ambience. I started imagining things. When he touched me softly, I screamed in my head, “Why can’t you go harder, you idiot.”

He got to my thighs and I was already drenched down there. If he had gone deep inside me with his fingers at that moment, I wouldn’t have screamed for help or accused him of sexual harassment. I would have laid low and let it all go down. Life is too short to fight against your feelings.

But this guy kept acting a fool—always missing the point. It was a thirty-minute massage but it felt like it lasted for a second. When he was done, I asked, ’Is that all?” He answered, “Yes, please. It’s over thirty minutes.”

He asked if he did a good job. He was innocent but I wasn’t. I asked if they do home service. He said yes but females visit the homes of females and men visit men.

I asked him to give me his contact and he did. When I left the premises, I had a game plan to see him again. I had looked into the future and realized life’s stress would usually give me body pains so I would need a guy like him to strum my pain with his fingers.

I called him that very day. I booked him for my father but that wasn’t the reason I booked him. I wanted to be a friend and see where it goes. After my dad’s massage, we kept talking, promising to give him a lot of clients from my office.

I asked questions that would lead us to a place where it was easier to propose. When he proposed, I told him, “I will only answer if you give me a massage. If you do a good job, I will say yes…”

We’ve been dating for over a year now and everything points to a bigger picture than just being boyfriend-girlfriend. We talk about the future a lot but you see, I also have fears when it comes to the job that he does. If he got me by the magic of his fingers, then he can get some women too. I’ve always been vocal about my fears. I ask questions. He tells me he also liked me from day one that’s why he fell for my tricks.

I pray with him often and when I have to say the prayer I often tell God, “You know this boy’s work is dangerous. He doesn’t want to stop it but can you please turn his fingers into stone so it would hurt his customers?”

To open your mouth to say I love you, Is kind of weird

Maybe he would cheat. Maybe he will not. I will only know when I give him a chance. This whole love thing is always 50:50—half full or half empty. I’m seeing mine as half full so I’m giving it my best shot as if I have no fear. When fear builds up in my body, he massages it away. That’s the compensation for all the wrong he might do in the future. 

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—Nancy

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