I was in class three when I met my father. Before then, it was just me and my mum struggling to survive. Things were so bad for us that when my dad showed up and offered to take up fatherly responsibility, my mother forgave him for abandoning us. She didn’t take him back as her man. She just wanted him to be in my life and contribute to my growth.

I don’t know what exactly they talked about but he took me away from my mother’s family house where we lived. He told my mum that I was going to live with him. It was a lie she easily believed. Because he took me to go live with his girlfriend. He wasn’t even living there. He only visited us whenever he could.

The things my father’s girlfriend did to me were inhumane. If I forgot to throw urine from the chamber pot away before she woke up, she would pour the urine on me. For an entire term, she didn’t let me go to school. My father knew this but he didn’t talk. Meanwhile, he was the one paying the woman’s son’s school fees. My stepbrother was much older than me. He took advantage of that to touch me inappropriately whenever I was left in his care.

One day, this boy inserted his fingers at places my mother warned me no one should touch. I reported it to his mother hoping she would correct him. That day turned out to be the saddest day of my life. She beat me black and blue. I even thought I would die. She made me sleep outside that night, and the next morning she called my dad to come and take me away. She told him, “Your daughter is a witch. She tried to seduce my son in his dream.” She went on to add more lies to make herself look like the victim.

Thankfully, my dad took me back to my mum. When she saw me, she cried bitterly. She was sick but that didn’t stop her from taking good care of me until she regained her health. We didn’t hear from my father again until I was about to start class five. This time, he assured us that I would live with him. He said his friend had a good school that I could benefit from. The school I was attending was collapsing but my mum couldn’t afford to enroll me in another school. So we took my father up on his offer.

This man paid half of the admission fees and left my struggling mother to pay the rest. I lived with my dad on weekdays for school, and lived with my mum on weekends. My dad’s place wasn’t even his place as he claimed. It belonged to another one of his girlfriends. So on days he wasn’t around, I would stay home and not go to school. The treatment I got from my new stepmother was just as terrible as the previous one.

Things were so bad that when I got to class six, I went to my mother and never returned. She didn’t have money so I stayed home for two terms before I got admitted at a government school. The admission fee was free but I had to pay for a chair, a table, and my school uniform. It all cost GHC15. Thank God for one of our relatives who bore the cost.

I didn’t hear from my dad after I left his place until I got to JHS 3. A woman visited me in school and asked me, “I am looking for your father for some urgent business. Where can I find him?” I explained that I hadn’t seen him in a long time but she was persistent. So I directed her to his house.

Later, I found out she was one of my dad’s numerous girlfriends. He had defrauded her out of some money so she got him arrested. He resented me for the part I played in his arrest and disowned me. As if that was not enough, he sweet-talked my mother and scammed her out of GHC9000.

The money belonged to my mother’s eldest daughter who lived abroad. Things were beginning to turn around for her. So she decided to put up a building and put my mum in charge of the project. She would send money with instructions, and my mum would execute it. That’s how my dad got to her and took that money from her for his court case. A case he lost and had to spend two years in prison.

This whole thing created problems for my mum and my sister. However, when I got to SHS, my sister took care of my needs. School fees, feeding fees, accommodation, and books; she paid for everything. My dad never supported me in any way. When he came out of prison, I would go to him for money and he would tell me, “Go away, I don’t have any money.” But he would turn around and buy drinks for his friends and stake huge amounts on Lottos.

Despite all the challenges I faced, I completed school and started working. The moment this man found out that I was working, he started showing concern for me. He became available to be my father. He would call me when he was broke and ask me for money. I didn’t like him but I always gave him money when he needed it.

Along the line, I met Nelson. We were so in love that we didn’t wait around for long before we started making marriage plans. Before I could officially introduce him to my family, I got pregnant. My father got angry about this. He demanded that Nelson compensate him for impregnating me out of wedlock. My mum then got angry and asked him, “When you impregnated me out of wedlock, did you compensate my father? You have children all over the place yet you never got married. Did you compensate the fathers of those women? You don’t have any right to demand anything from anyone.”

Nelson’s family came to perform the knocking rites and promised my family that the marriage rites would follow when I gave birth. My dad wanted the knocking to be done in his hometown but my mum and I disagreed so he didn’t show up. Later, my mum asked me to go with Nelson to introduce him to my father but I refused.

When we were putting ourselves together for the marriage ceremony, my dad said he would collect GHC2000, two men’s Kente, chachaw, and drinks(alcoholic and non-alcoholic). We persuaded him to reduce the items and he agreed to take GHC1000 and one Kente.

Two months to the event, he called to tell me he was not feeling well and that he needed GHC5000 for surgery. I managed to give him GHC3000 out of it and suggested that he ask his other children to top him up. He didn’t take care of them so nobody helped him.

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Just a few weeks to the program, I agreed to go see him with my fiancé. He received us warmly and even advised us about marriage. Days after we left, he called me sounding very angry. He said, “You and your husband came to visit your sick father and you didn’t even bring me bread? Because of what you’ve done I will no longer reduce the items for you. I want everything I originally listed.”

I also told him point blank, “We will do everything you ask for but after that, forget about me ever helping you again. Do you know how I suffered to raise GHC3000 for your surgery? Yet it’s not enough for you. You are angry because I didn’t bring you anything when I visited you. You are a very ungrateful man.” He still stood by his resolve.

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I was too embarrassed to tell Nelson about my family drama. So I took the GHC1000 he brought and added everything else my father requested.

It’s been almost a year since we got married, and he hasn’t heard from me since. I’ve blocked him. He uses different numbers to call me but I block them too. I told him the money he collected should be enough to cater for him to his grave and even perform his funeral rites. I don’t know how death will occur, but if he dies before I do, I’m not attending his funeral. I won’t even contribute anything toward his burial. I believe I have already done more than he has ever done for me in this life.

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—Tasha

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