Fourteen Years Later, I Am Happy To Call Her My Wife

I didn’t even realise I needed a friend when my father passed away until I found her at my side. I was fifteen when it happened. It was such a big loss and still continues to be to this day. There was a vacuum in my heart that needed to be filled, and that is where she came in. We were classmates preparing to write our WASSCE. So we spent long hours studying together in the evenings and at dawn.

As time went on, we started talking about ourselves, our families, interests and general things during study breaks. These moments came to mean so much to me that I always looked forward to them. She was the brilliant one. She always made it to the top three in a class of about sixty. Me? I always lingered somewhere in the middle of the class so she was my helper.

Soon, we finished writing our exams and everyone had to go home. At a time when free night calls were the ish, we stayed on the phone for hours every night just to catch up and continue and nurture the friendship we had built.

I knew I liked her in an amorous way but I didn’t know how to go about it. I started high school when I was only twelve so I didn’t know much about girls or love. And although I was out of high school at the time I fell in love with Haggai, I still didn’t know much about girls or love. So I didn’t even know if she felt the same way about me.

There’s something about talking on the phone for long hours that makes you say things you don’t even intend to say. That was what happened the day I told her, “I love you.” It just came out of nowhere. After I spoke she asked, “What do you mean?” I quickly grabbed a dictionary and found the word, love. I read out all the definitions of the word, and then told her, “What I feel for you is the one that talks about romantic love.”

She was impressed. Although I didn’t plan to propose love to her, I was articulate enough for her to agree to be my girlfriend. That’s how it all began. I woke up the next morning after the free night call and I had gotten myself a girlfriend.

We spent hours and hours on the phone since it was the easiest way to connect. We both stayed in Accra but we still lived far from each other. Things progressed quite quickly, and we had our first date a few months later. I remember when I saw her with permed hair for the first time. I was stunned. “School uniforms have a way of covering things,” I thought. I knew there and then that I had made a good choice.

I said to myself during that date while gazing at her smiling face that I’d marry her. I even called her best friend at the time and promised her, “I am going to marry your friend.” I was just so pumped after seeing her looking so ravishing.

When our WASSCE results were released, she passed with flying colours. I also got good enough grades to get me into the university.

As fate would have it, we ended up at the same university. Our halls of residence were only a few meters apart. And we also had a few courses in common. So we continued to study together, except this time, we were lovers too.

We motivated each other and helped each other however best we could. We met different people all through and interests definitely arose from all corners but we remained strong. We had quarrels as the differences in our personalities began to glare in our faces. I am an extreme introvert whilst she is the opposite. It was difficult to adjust to each other, but we were growing so our personalities had room to transform. We were still teenagers but we knew what we wanted, and that kept us going.

We cooked together, learned together, prayed together, grew in love, and graduated with good classes. Our graduation was beautiful. That day I met her family and they loved me.

When we started our national service, we were posted to different regions. We learned how to stay connected on the phone and keep conversations going as we did when we were teenagers. We also created a schedule to help us meet at least once a month.

Soon, national service was over and we entered the next phase of our lives. Whilst I started a master’s degree immediately, she got a job. The money wasn’t much but she needed the experience. While she was on the job, she started getting juicy offers, and fancy dates from rich and established men who could easily sweep her off her feet.

I considered the fact that I had no job or money. And it made me insecure. How could I keep my beautiful and intelligent girlfriend from the shackles of all these predators? It was a subject that led to a lot of quarrels for many months. However, we never ceased communication. We also followed our schedule of meeting religiously till I was done with school.

All this while, she supported me financially with the little she could. When we went out on dates, she paid for it. I never took these acts for granted. God bless this woman for her kind heart.

Getting a job was difficult. It got to a point where I could tell she was tired of waiting but she was patient. All her friends were getting married while she was stuck with an unemployed man. I have lost count of the number of times she served as a bridesmaid for her friends. She would return from these weddings with a lot of talk about marriage. I loved her and I knew she was the one for me but my pocket was bleeding.

It didn’t take long for our prayers to be answered. I got a job. I remember her excitement when I told her about my appointment. “Finally, it’s happening!” She shouted. As soon as I started receiving my salary we started talking about marriage.

However, there was a little problem. I’m the first of five siblings. So I had to step up to take some responsibilities to cushion my single mom. I paid school fees, among other things. I became an early parent but through all this, Haggai did not give up on me.

The past year was particularly challenging. I faced a lot of challenges that made me lose a huge sum of money and other opportunities. To say I slumped into depression is an understatement, but God came through for us. I was just thankful that my woman was by my side with unwavering support and love.

After many failed plans, and disappointments amidst changing of dates, we finally got married. Our marriage is a month old as I write this story.

It was a beautiful ceremony and my bride looked as beautiful as ever. It started with a dictionary definition of love and now we are locked for life. She prepares our menu, and sometimes what I wear and I wouldn’t have it any other way. We are not perfect but we complement each other in so many ways.

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We have grown together and after fourteen years of boyfriend-girlfriend, I am happy to call her my wife. Let me borrow words from this popular song ‘We were just kids when we fell in love, not knowing what it was,” but now we do and we keep growing by the day.

You would see us and think we don’t fight but we do. We have just cultivated a habit of resolving conflicts so they don’t escalate. This first month of marriage has been pure bliss. We know storms will come but we are grounded in Christ and in the strong bond we share. Whatever may come our way, we will meander through with Christ in the boat.

Why Men Don’t Say “I Love You” To Each Other

She was my first girlfriend and my last. She was my first kiss and now she is my Mrs. I’m thankful I didn’t have to go through a series of heartbreaks, auditions, and rejections for the sake of love. I went shopping and my first buy was all I needed; durable, classy, and no haggling.

I’m grateful for her. I’m at peace with myself and our home is lovely. I look forward to coming home to her every day when I close from work. I count her twice when I count my blessings. My first try at love was more than a success and I pray God blesses our union with beautiful twin girls.

I share this story to remind my future self of our beginning and encourage others who are on a similar journey as ours not to give up.

—Prince

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