My ex is getting married this weekend and she sent me a message telling me about it. We broke up a year ago because she cheated. She’s getting married to the same guy she cheated with.
When we broke up, she spent a lot of weeks trying to get my forgiveness. I told her I’d forgiven her but I don’t want her back but she kept coming, sometimes in tears asking me to be honest about my forgiveness.
She was in school when we met. I helped her through school and rented a place for her to do her national service. After national service, I was very instrumental in helping her get a job. I didn’t want her to wander around aimlessly and attract men who would take advantage of her so I was determined to get her a job. To make her settle.
I don’t know when this guy entered the frame but I figured her family influence also played a part. The guy was abroad. Eventually, I found out and we broke up.
In her message about her wedding, she said, “I have to tell you this because I still feel indebted to you. All the good things you did for me, how can I forget? I still believe you haven’t forgiven me though you’ve said over and over again that you’ve forgiven me. I want to use this opportunity to test your forgiveness. Please attend my wedding if indeed you’ve forgiven me.”
I’ve moved on long ago. I was hurt for months but that didn’t mean I should hate her. I don’t mind attending her wedding to prove the depth of my forgiveness but upon second thought, I feel there’s more to it than just me attending her wedding. What if it’s a set-up? I don’t have any idea the kind of set-up it will be but it sounds strange that she would want me at her wedding considering everything that happened.
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Everyone at the wedding will notice my presence because, for over five years, it was just me and her. Everyone knows our story. Maybe the guy also knows about it so why does she want me there?
Do you think it’s a good idea for me to attend such a wedding?
—Sarkwa
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Question, are you happy she is getting married to the guy she cheated on you with? If yes, it’s OK to attend the wedding then. If not, allow her guilty conscience to deal with her. Because after all, you hold no grudge against her
No, dont go. Will you be able to fully ignore the stares, gossips etc that would swirl around when you show up? Prioritize your mental health and politely assure her you’ve moved on.
Konphi has said it F3f33f3, simple.
Choose one of his options and make a move…
But if you’re still confused, locate the nearest orphanage and go and play with the children on that day even if you don’t have anything to gift them. Create a memory and come back home.
Please don’t attend the wedding for your own mental health well being and also listen to your instincts.that set-up might be true
I’ve experienced this, we broke up on consensus due to family factor. I witnessed her wedding and it wasn’t easy, her siblings and friends who knew me said a lot to console me but was rather hurting
Please let bygones be bygones.
reserve your energy and focus on the future
What is there to prove again sir , you have moved on so that should be it . You going to her wedding will not change the fact that you guys are not still together therefore enjoy the peace you have now
My brother, don’t go to that wedding. I had a girl who wanted us to be married. I felt I needed to get to know her better. She wanted it done immediately and broke up with me. In less than a year she was getting married and asked me to attend for old times seek. I refused flatly. Find something fulfilling to do on her wedding date.