My ex is getting married this weekend and she sent me a message telling me about it. We broke up a year ago because she cheated. She’s getting married to the same guy she cheated with.

When we broke up, she spent a lot of weeks trying to get my forgiveness. I told her I’d forgiven her but I don’t want her back but she kept coming, sometimes in tears asking me to be honest about my forgiveness.

She was in school when we met. I helped her through school and rented a place for her to do her national service. After national service, I was very instrumental in helping her get a job. I didn’t want her to wander around aimlessly and attract men who would take advantage of her so I was determined to get her a job. To make her settle.

I don’t know when this guy entered the frame but I figured her family influence also played a part. The guy was abroad. Eventually, I found out and we broke up.

In her message about her wedding, she said, “I have to tell you this because I still feel indebted to you. All the good things you did for me, how can I forget? I still believe you haven’t forgiven me though you’ve said over and over again that you’ve forgiven me. I want to use this opportunity to test your forgiveness. Please attend my wedding if indeed you’ve forgiven me.”

I’ve moved on long ago. I was hurt for months but that didn’t mean I should hate her. I don’t mind attending her wedding to prove the depth of my forgiveness but upon second thought, I feel there’s more to it than just me attending her wedding. What if it’s a set-up? I don’t have any idea the kind of set-up it will be but it sounds strange that she would want me at her wedding considering everything that happened.

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Everyone at the wedding will notice my presence because, for over five years, it was just me and her. Everyone knows our story. Maybe the guy also knows about it so why does she want me there?

Do you think it’s a good idea for me to attend such a wedding?

—Sarkwa

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