I have been married for a few years now with two children. My marriage was doing fairly well until I met this gorgeous lady. I had no intention of getting involved with her. All I wanted was to be her friend. Thankfully, she wanted to be my friend too. I didn’t hide the fact that I was married from her. And we established healthy boundaries so we wouldn’t cross any lines.
As time went on we grew very close. Our bond was so strong that my wife noticed it. “What’s going on between you and this Abena person?” She asked. I told her the truth, “Nothing is going on between us. We are just friends.” She didn’t say anything but I could tell she wasn’t convinced.
Another time we were having a conversation when she casually asked, “Are you in love with Abena?” I almost choked on my own spit because of how direct the question was. I didn’t want to lie to her even though I knew the truth wouldn’t be pleasant to her. I took a minute to gather my thoughts before saying, “I want you to know that I love you very much. And I won’t do anything to hurt our marriage Abena and I are just friends.”
She frowned, “You haven’t said anything to answer my question. Tell me the truth, are you in love with her?” As much as I hated to admit it, I had to face the ugly truth. “Yes, I am in love with Abena. I didn’t mean for it to happen. Just know that it doesn’t mean I love you any less, and I don’t have any intention of cheating on you.” Just because you asked for the truth doesn’t mean you want to know the truth. This statement defines my wife’s reaction to my answer.
She started throwing tantrums and packing her bags. I tried to calm her down but she was too upset to listen. All she said repeatedly was, “I am leaving the marriage with my children so that you and Abena can do whatever you want.” “Please don’t leave,” I begged her. “We can talk about this. I will cut her off. She won’t be in my life anymore.” Nothing I said got to her. When she finished packing her bags, she tried to pack the children’s bags. It was then I realized she wouldn’t change her mind.
I did the only thing I had the power to do. I stopped her from taking our kids along. I thought if she left without them, she would soon realize she belongs with us, and then come home. But I was wrong, seeing as my wife refused to return home.
I went after her several times but she wouldn’t give me a listening ear. What broke my heart in all this is that she was pregnant at the time she left. Could you believe she terminated the pregnancy because of the answer I gave her? “How can I have another child with a man who is in love with someone else?” That’s what she said. What I don’t understand is why she took her anger with me out on an innocent baby.
I felt a double loss when she left. Her absence and the loss of our unborn child. However, I couldn’t put my life on hold because of grief. My kids needed me so I comforted myself and moved on. I settled into the role of a single father and took care of our kids for two years.
Honestly, in the second year, I stopped trying to bring her back. I found someone and I am in love with that person. I am doing the best I can to balance having a relationship and raising the kids. It’s not easy but I am trying.
Just recently, I was at home with the kids when she showed up. Her presence didn’t shock me as much as what she brought with her. She is pregnant with a child that is certainly not mine. I have not had any sexual relations with her since she left. So she couldn’t have even pinned it on me.
She explained that the pregnancy was a result of a one-night stand she had with one of her colleagues at work. She tried to get rid of it but they told her that it’s not medically safe to do that. So her only choice is to keep it. I wish I could say that I was hurt to see her carrying another man’s child but that would be a lie. The coldness with which she abandoned our family has killed my affections for her. If I was still in love with her, it would have crushed me to know that she got rid of our baby but kept another man’s child. But I wasn’t so I was unfazed.
I Lost My Virginity When I Was Seventeen
My problem right now is, she wants me to claim the child as mine. “Please, give the baby your name and allow me to move back home. I should never have left in the first place. I am so sorry that I did.” She claims the man who impregnated her doesn’t know that her pregnancy is a result of their affair. She said she would like to keep it that way.
I have spent days thinking about her request but I am not making any headway. I don’t know if I can do what she wants. Even if I do it, how long are we going to keep the paternity of the child a secret from our families? Or what if the baby comes out looking like the other man? This is a difficult situation she wants to put me in. Marriage is for better for worse. So is this my version of worse? I am confused. Please, tell me how to handle this.
—Alex
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#SB
Are you still married to her or you moved on?problably she was seeing the other guy that’s why she left you.Don’t take any responsibility of the child and don’t let her come back into your life
Gentleman, there are some things we the commentators will say here you wouldn’t like it. But in a s much as you wouldn’t like it doesn’t also mean what we say here isn’t the truth.
This is a woman you were married to, and she left you probably on score of infidelity and never considered your attempt of getting her back. Now the table has turn the other way round even beyond reasonable doubt as lawyers will say with pregnancy as the evidence. What’s good for the goose is equally good for the gander . Decision are made for the purposes of the future but not for the current situation we find ourselves in. This is an issue of the future. Consider the future when you are physically fragile, emotionally weak and psychologically unstable. Will you be able to sustain any hullabaloo??
Please don’t allow her back into your house. She is selfish and wicked. How could she abort an innocent baby, go away for 2yrs all because u said u love a girl whom u didn’t even have sex with,comes back with evidence of cheating and u are confused? This shouldn’t be a problem for u.Just don’t accept her
How are you going to take care of someone’s child? This child is going to grow up and your wife will tell you that you are not the father of the child and show the child who the father is. She went and slept with another man and she wants the man to go free but you have to pay for the man’s enjoyment, ha noooo oo. Do not accept her. Adulteress. Leave alone. This request is just insane.
Do you even have to think or consider this at all?
Don’t even entertain it.
Regarding your wife aborting her pregnancy, I support her doing so for two reasons: the pain you felt once you learned of the abortion is equal (=) to the pain you caused your wife you cheated on your wife, you really did not acknowledge the hurt you caused her. You had an emotional affair, you flashed it in your wife face by communicating with AP without consideration for your wife.
As far as your wife coming back to you two years later, pregnant with another man’s baby, I would say no to her. There is the option of her giving the baby up for adoption.
Fact I don’t have to say it this way but I must, Are you a fool to think about something like this? Someone you got married to and she left you simply because you fell in love with a lady you didn’t even have sex with. Sack her and never allow her near you, she can request to see her children but to come back into your life, masa don’t make some us angry on this platform. I even got angry before I could read the whole article.
Eeeeeiiiii Mr Alex, guess you have a lot of time at your disposal to think of something as stupid and foolish like this. Man, don’t entertain her, maybe the man in question didn’t take responsibility that’s why she want to bring it to u. There’s no second thought about evidences. Anyways the choice is yours but left for me alone, DON’T bring her back into your life. To think that she even killed your own child and came back with another’s. It’s the audacity for me. I don’t entertain nonsense
Sometimes love can make us do some crazy things, like otooleges. Fortunately for you, Alex, if you are being truthful to yourself, you are no longer in love with her. So what is the source of your confusion? It’s even disrespectful of you for her to come back to you with such a request. Use her pregnancy to divorce her and concentrate on your newfound love. Be strong, don’t let her manipulate you.
Don’t entertain her. what goes around comes around. I encountered something similar in 2019. my version wasn’t a marriage but was getting to know her. She was a divorcee and I recalled telling her that if care isn’t taken and she goes into any SHUPERU, she may carry baby na yoka. (she may get pregnant). Fast forward, she got pregnant for another man whilst I haven’t even made an attempt to even think about making advances on her. She informed me later and I told her I cannot take charge of someone’s stuff so that was the end of the relationship. Papa, send her away before she messes you up. Haven’t you moved on ever since she left you? Why are you entertaining her?
My guy do not let her back ooo…
You do not need one mints to think about this,
It is a NO NO!!
let her go sort out her problems on her own.
The thing is do you think she is worthy of a second chance? Only you have the answer to it all. Don’t think about what your family will think. Just think about you and your kids. It’s time for you to put yourself first. If it were up to me I will divorce her . She is very immatured,i won’t say wicked but she is a bad companion, mother.No good companion or parent will abandon his or her family. At least she came back but is time for you to lay down your rules. She can’t come into your life and that of the kids and leave as she please. Marriage is for the matured . If you know you can find it in your heart to forgive and take her back then you are a good man indeed. But if you know you can’t love her back then neither can you forgive her then let her know so you can divorce her and be free from this burden she has brought on herself and the family as whole. Remember life throws things at us whether we like it or not but its up to us to handle it maturely and boldly. Everyone is saying leave her buy at the end of the day the ball is in your court. Only you know the amount of oranges you can carry. Maybe this just another bucket of orange you can add to the one’s you are carrying. Everyone is expressing their opinions but I urge not to act on impulse think carefully and plan carefully inorder to get good results.
please, my bro, take a critical look at it. Do not act on impulse. However, she cannot be described as the best of a mature woman. The child she is carrying will one day give you a problem. I foresee a day that the man who made her pregnant will come after the child. Be bold to take a tough decision. That decision can save you stress later. she is not a good woman, it is because she lacks options that’s why she is coming back. For two years, maybe she has done worse things when you could no longer monitor her. She may be infected with HIV. Do NOT RISK, MY GOOD BRO. History matters. you have done your best to follow her.
Remember to err is human to forgive is divine. Every one deserves a second chance. She has seen where she went wrong not many admit their wrong ,she did .At least it’s a start. True love forgives. Many have been through worse than you did but they made it an effort to overcome all the lemons life through at them. Take time. If you take her back please bear in mind to love the kid as yours. A father is not just the one who gave birth to you but also he someone who nutures and love you. Forgive your wife and let go off all the pain. Ask God to show the way out. He alone can help and heal you.
If to forgive is divine, why didn’t she forgive him when he confessed to her
It looks like Ghanaian men are becoming otoolege. She had the temerity to abort your pregnancy. But thinks she can keep a one-night stand pregancy and let your take responsibility? Is it not clear the man who impregnated her sees your wife as third option perhaps? But she left you because she was your first option and Abena was a second option your were just infatuated with. Tell her to remain where she was and allow you to have peace with your children and new love interest. Infact, i can assure you that this is the plan of the devil to disruot the new self sufficient man you have developed into in the last two years. But pretend you agree but take her to the hospital to see how old is the pregnancy. Get the scan results and other lab results that confirms that she is pregnant. When you get home, throw her out instead of letting her pack out peacefully. You may need the scientific evidence if there are any properties to share in the marriage and she chooses to go to court. Her pregnancy is clear evidence of adultery.
Lol.
No one is seeing the plot.
The former wife was having an affair gidigidi with the colleague and got pregnant. She wanted out of the marriage. Abena scenario was just to give her an opportunity out, that’s why she was.quick to abort the baby (if even it was his) to start life with the boyfriend.
Then he bounced her, pregnant and married someone else. Now she’s running back to the original. Nso 33nfa!